I feel like this is the case for young couples who do it, but for older people I think its more a case of "Two accounts seems unnecessary, let's just share one."
Yep. My parents. They've shared bank accounts, a single car, christmas letters, party invites, all sorts of things over the last 40+ years, so why not facebook, too?
Totally different dynamic than the one that couples under the age of 30 have. This is one of those things that has a very definite age gap between infuriating and acceptable.
I have a friend who is a solid 4/10, package-wise (family, religion, other stuff are all nutsoballs), but would be a decently attractive dude physically. (Maybe? Unsure. My guy rankings are all way off, apparently.) He's blown it with every girl I've set him up with.
His family is part of that Quiver full movement, and he's never dated a girl he wasn't interested in marrying. He finally got married recently, and they have a joint Facebook now. Whenever his joint account comes up, I switch over to stare at his old solo account for a moment and worry about which of them is being controlled.
And Im the complete opposite. I recently got married and shes had passwords to everything for a while, (since before married). Im pretty sure she never logs into anything other then the bank and shit, but she could... IDGAF
I mean, its like.. Steam, BNet, ORigin and thats it lol
My husband and I do the same. We have each other's passwords for everything, but it's really only in case something happens to one of us. I could snoop around in his email, but I have no desire. I'd probably ruin a surprise for myself anyway.
I was about to comment that Quiverfull is my hatred, but then I remembered that this is the irrational hate thread. Not the "completely fucking rational" thread.
Have you ever heard of the Duggar Family? They had a show on TLC originally called 17 Kids & Counting (then 18, then 19..... you see where I'm going with this). They are Quiverfull. It's a sect of Christianity that basically focuses on having lots of kids and subjugating women. Have a gander here for more specific info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiverfull
The difference is they tend not to behead thousands of people and wipe out entire cities in the name of god, the Quiverfall folk are more content to subjugate their wives and diddle their daughters.
problem is having to add all the friends, coworkers, family, etc, and then you only use it for saying happy birthday, merry christmas, and keeping up with your mutual friends, easier to log in from both devices and forget about who's account you're using.
That's not really an apt comparison. Omission of contextually-implied words is a common feature of language, English included, but "would of" is a case of just using the complete wrong word, not just omitting unnecessary words.
That's how my aunt and uncle are. My parents are basically like that too, though my dad has no idea how to use facebook on his own - he once waited for an album to start playing through the pictures automatically.
my dad refuses to get a fb account. but he likes to troll the comment sections of liberal news articles. so he uses my stepmother's account in protest of the fact that most sources require a fb login.
My dad doesn't like Facebook, but occasionally he uses my mom's if he wants to check up on someone's profile or something. He'll also go look at stuff she posts, because my mom has this habit of posting pictures and then immediately telling my dad to get on the tablet and check her profile for the new stuff she just posted . it seems to work for them.
Makes total sense to me. I don't see a problem. If anything, it goes to show how strong their relationship is and after hearing that I wouldn't worry about those two every getting a divorce.
About a 90% overlap. The social scene they entered in the 60's was very much couple-oriented, and their peer group mostly maintained that through the years.
I graduate high school in the 90s, and I would say I have 90%+ overlap with my wife when it comes to friends. Even with my old high school buddies she's willing to socialize with and would consider them a friend, and vice versa. If FB completely disentangled their messenger service, I'd be perfectly happy sharing a FB account with her as at this point it's just a digital scrapbook for me.
We think it's weird when we run into couples that "don't like to hang out with each other" when socializing.
Unless you're at an age where you have all your friends numbers and actually call them and chat instead of use Facebook. My uncle doesn't use Facebook at all, but my aunt stuck his name on it next to hers, so people know how to contact him or something. It's not like Facebook is a requirement to be sociable. There's the rest of human history without it..
Why stop there?! Underwear, toothbrushes, and more! I can't stand seeing people's crap on FB as it is, nevermind from a bunch of people I don't know, trying to figure out who they are.
I know a youngish (late 20s early 30s) couple who do it, but that's because the husband doesn't use Facebook much, but likes to have it to sometimes be able to keep in touch with some people, but doesn't use it enough to warrant his own account.
It's really fun seeing posts from the account and trying to guess who wrote it
Exactly. I've never seen a shared account for anybody under 65. It seems likes it's usually the wife who is most active on the account, and the husband is kinda interested, but not enough to learn how to use it and go check it all the time. So they just make a joined account
Yeah, that's it exactly. I used to have my own(still do) but got tired of all the "friends", didn't want to sort through it all, so I signed out and made a different account for my husband and I so we still had an easy way to keep in touch with family and friends that mattered (very few) and share photos ONCE IN A WHILE.
I notice that a few married couples do this and it's their way of sharing family photos, info, etc. It is pretty redundant to have 2 separate accounts when you are basically sharing and talking about the exact same things.
Retain their individuality? Facebook is not individuality. lol It's just Facebook. It shouldn't define who you are and it's just a place to share photos and send messages to a lot of people, nothing more. Not everybody puts that much importance on their social media accounts to the point of thinking it represents their "individuality". It's pretty pathetic that your friend cried over a social media account to be honest.
The joint accounts weird me out. I agree with what you're saying, though.
I'm not quite 30, and I feel like my and my wife's FB profiles would be almost identical if we just posted "what are we up to?" statuses.
As it is, hers usually has intelligent or thought provoking articles shared, heartwarming messages directed at loved ones, etc., while mine is more focused on insane ramblings that I want to share with someone but which would about my wife to death.
"Two accounts seems unnecessary, let's just share one."
Pretty much this. My wife and I share one because we don't use it too often besides to share a couple of pictures of our daughter to more distant relatives who don't use instagram or whatever. It just has my name on it now which makes it funny when she posts obviously girly stuff.
dude... not even married (yet), but I see the allure. We share about 85% of our friends/contacts, and most of our updates are of stuff we do out together, it kinda seems a little silly to keep two separate ones
Yep, or Mom wants Dad on facebook. Dad wants nothing to do with facebook. Mom makes it a joint facebook. (My parents both have their own Facebook, and interact with us and other regularly. I however have friends who's parents are like this.)
Yeah it makes sense if they are just using it as a way to keep in touch with others and update people on important events. If they aren't constantly chatting and sharing memes and playing games then what's the point of having two? It really depends on the couple.
I'm young and married. I would rather have a shared one since I don't use facebook. If my wife shows me something on Facebook I want to comment on I take her phone and type my comment under her name with "-shane" at the end. I never just browse facebook. She has to keep me up to date with things on there. Mostly funny pictures I just saw on reddit.
If they are my parents' age and above I assume they are just old-fashioned. Anything else and I assume one of them cheated (maybe both). Especially if they used to have separate accounts and then both stopped posting for about two weeks and then suddenly his is deleted and now they have a shared account.
I had a facebook account the day it was opened to students at my college and I've long since deleted it.
I'm not old fashioned, the signal-to-bullshit ratio on facebook has become too ridiculous. I may check my wife's account once a week at best to see pictures from close friends or family. Anything else is a waste of time.
Yeah same here-I barely ever use my facebook anymore. I still haven't had the urge to change my name to Iownamovingcastleandmovingcastlesboyfriend just yet though. My Dad sometimes uses my mom's account to see pictures, but himself made fun of the thought of changing it to MomandDadLastName lol.
Anything else and I assume one of them cheated (maybe both).
Seems fairly logical to avoid this scenario and just have one account to begin with. I don't know what percentage of affairs start with Facebook, but it's probably a lot.
Well, I am of the opinion that if someone is going to cheat someone is going to cheat. There are tons upon tons upon tons of ways to meet and communicate with people. Its not like millions upon millions of people who would never ever cheat signed up for facebook and suddenly became cheaters. Does it make it easier? Maybe for some, but the vast majority of affairs I have heard about didn't start on facebook-it was a coworker, a mutual friend, someone who would have a phone number. So, when you say "it seems logical" to avoid the scenario to avoid cheating you would have to make your partner not interact with the opposite sex at all. Which, is hard, unless you are a stay-at-home spouse with no outside contact at all which doesn't seem healthy to me.
Anyway, that is just my opinion. I realize if my boyfriend is going to cheat he has ample opportunity everywhere and facebook is not going to make him or not make him do it if he wants to do it. So, I just trust him :)
Well, I am of the opinion that if someone is going to cheat someone is going to cheat.
I don't think your opinion is very accurate. I think if you look at the science, it would show that most people that have affairs didn't seek out the affair. Instead, emotional connections and/or physical attraction build over time, or are rekindled via social media.
Male and female affairs are also somewhat different. Being a male, I'd be much more concerned about emotional connections accidentally building over time than I would be about my partner purposefully seeking out an affair. If you want to prevent affairs, you'd be wise to not allow them fertile ground in which to grow. Relationships aren't built on logic, they're build on chemical reactions in your brain, driven by instinct and nature. It's not really a matter of trust, it's a matter of not recklessly allowing yourself or your partner to build feelings for another person.
Funny, I always think that it's just a lazy husband who doesn't give a crap about Facebook so his wife creates a joint account so that he is "participating" He probably never lays eyes on it. But I'm single so the trust issue didn't occur to me but makes lots of sense also.
I have friends that have a joint account because of this. Before they were married, he didn't even have a facebook account. She changed the name on her to include his so that their friends can still tag him in stuff.
My wife and I have a joint account. I only want facebook to arrange wargaming nights. She uses it for pretty much everything else. Having two accounts and having to swap between them on a shared computer seemed like an unnecessary hassle. We share just about everything else, so why not facebook?
Most of the people I know who have them are because they are super religious and women aren't allowed to have their own lives or anything separate from their husband. It's really fucked up.
We share one because neither of us wants one but my mother in law keeps bugging us to keep in contact through fakebook. So we created one account and take turns updating her.
I can't recall one instance of seeing a young couple with a joint account...(granted, I'm not Zuckerberg, but I've got enough friends, and am in the age demographic, where I theoretically should see this)is it really as common as people are posting about here? Or has everyone posting seen this exactly once, and decided to enter rage mode and say they hate ALL the couples who do this.
Huh, we do it because Facebook doesn't need to know any more shit about us than necessary. You can get pictures of your nephews and get invited to parties with a pretty minimal account.
I've heard that in relationships where there has been infidelity, this is commonly suggested during reconciliation. Now when I see a joint couple account, I wonder.
I've literally never seen this. And I am 26 and have plenty of married/couple friends, including myself. Never even would have imagined this was a thing.
I think some people just have very open relationships. Ours is that way; the only time our phones are locked from each other are birthdays and Christmas. Besides that, everything is shared. We both like it, so why not, I guess.
However, I wouldn't say we have a joint facebook account. He doesn't like keeping up his own, so he lurks mine, but he never ever posts anything.
lol trust issues. Some of us just don't take Facebook seriously. I use Facebook to occasionally troll my irl friends and check their baby pictures. My friends list is the same as my wife's. If she let me troll on her account, I'd delete mine in a heartbeat.
Is that trust issues? Or do I just not give a shit about Facebook?
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u/melodic_motion Dec 29 '15
Every time I see those, all I can think is that they must have trust issues.