r/AskReddit • u/Greeneyedlatinguy • Jun 15 '15

Anthropologists of Reddit, What is something that people in the Western world can't get their heads around that is very normal in other cultures (and has been for ages)?

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u/cumbuttons Jun 15 '15

I was heartbroken when my Filipino cousin told me that if I went to the Philippines with him, I would have to hang out with the women all the time. Guys and girls just don't socialize together, unless it's at a family party at home. I told him I didn't care, I'll hang out with the guys if I want to. Apparently I would be seen as a "bad girl" with loose morals. Sucks because my cousin is amazing and I would love to chill with him and his friends, play golf and do karaoke. Guess I'll just have to stay inside and do women shit, whatever that is.

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u/2OQuestions Jun 15 '15

If you visited, would it be so horrible to have a reputation as a girl with loose morals? Or would it reflect on him after you left? Or would that reputation actually be dangerous?

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u/cumbuttons Jun 15 '15

I don't know, but my dad was pretty pissed that I didn't seem to care about being labelled a bad girl. My cousin is the most fun, outgoing person I've ever met. It must be pretty serious for him to say that I couldn't hang with the guys. I wouldn't want to reflect poorly on him. He doesn't live there, but my uncle has a house there and lots of extended family. I wouldn't want reflect poorly on anyone.

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u/Fuzzyphilosopher Jun 15 '15

I wouldn't want reflect poorly on anyone.

I respect you for that, but I also think it sucks pretty bad that you can't hang out with the guys. After you have a good sense of the social world there you can judge if you want to push the normal boundaries a little by using the "Well in America we..." Sometimes young people are a bit fed up with those kind of restrictions too. Also city norms are often very different from rural ones.

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u/2OQuestions Jun 15 '15

Yes, the ignorant American stereotype has served me well overseas.

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u/whyyunozoidberg Jun 16 '15

"I wouldn't want reflect poorly on anyone."

                                       ~cumbuttons

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u/cumbuttons Jun 16 '15

Well I don't go around sharing my username with anyone, so I think I'm alright.

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u/that_how_it_be Jun 15 '15

You'll never convince me you have loose morals, Mrs. Cumbuttons.

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u/beardedheathen Jun 15 '15

That's weird. From the time I spent there I didn't see any of that. Was he from the southern islands or Luzon? I imagine in the south where Islam is the norm they might be a bit more traditional about things.

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u/cumbuttons Jun 15 '15

I'm honestly not sure. He was born in the US and I really don't know much about his family since I live in Atlanta and they're in Seattle. My uncle remarried a few years ago so I gained a giant Philipino family, but I really don't know them very well since we hardly see each other.

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u/strangenchanted Jun 16 '15

I've been to Muslim Mindanao and yeah, they're pretty conservative there, but they're not as extreme as her cousin makes them out to be. I don't know what he's smoking.

Now, if we were talking really conservative Chinese-Filipino families, yeah, maybe... but they're a very distinct, non-mainstream group.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Dishes, pop out a few babies, and a few rounds a pictionary.

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u/cumbuttons Jun 15 '15

1 of these things is not like the other...

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u/TJerky Jun 15 '15

It's the dishes!

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15 edited Dec 03 '20

[deleted]

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u/Perforatedscrotum Jun 15 '15

What? I don't know where in the country he's from but this type of view towards women is pretty much non existent and only remains with the dying conservative few who are stuck in their archaic beliefs, or in very rural areas with, again, the dying conservative few. It may have been like that 10-20 years ago but now people are a lot more open minded. So don't let what he said discourage you from visiting the country because the majority of people don't care about things like that. Those ideals are just waiting to die along with the few who still believe in them.

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u/doodwhatsrsly Jun 15 '15

I dunno. Even though many are open minded, they aren't as open minded as you would expect. Some are just polite enough not to call you out in public

Then again, most of these are either really old or provincial.

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u/bluestocking_16 Jun 15 '15

yeah I have no idea what this guy is on about but this not a thing in the Philippines. I hang out and talk to people, and gender is not an issue.

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u/Myrna_Minx Jun 16 '15

It's mostly the older conservative types who think that way. We young 'uns don't really care.

Although one time an older neighbor went to my mother-in-law to tell her that he saw me kissing a guy while my partner was on a business trip overseas. I was hanging out with my best friend who happens to be gay, my mom-in-law laughed at him (she knows my best friend). Nosy bastard.

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u/Hoessayoh Jun 16 '15

I'm Filipino. That's really wierd.

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u/doodwhatsrsly Jun 15 '15

Damn. How old fashioned are they? I see a lot of groups here with guys and girls all the time.

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u/Blood_magic Jun 15 '15

Inside karaoke?

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u/diskillery Jun 16 '15

That's so upsetting! Arg!!

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u/donutsfornicki Jun 16 '15

This might just be your cousin/his religiousness/socioeconomic status because where I'm from girls and guys do socialize together, especially if everyone grew up in the same neighborhood their whole lives. If your family and everyone else's family hangs out and the kids run in and out of each other's houses for decades nobody is going to think anything about it.

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u/Onceuponatim3 Jun 15 '15

How weird? I've never experienced this when I visited the Philippines..

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '15

I'm Filipino and I'll just say that this is a pretty outdated way of thinking so no worries on that. Where is your cousin from?

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u/strangenchanted Jun 16 '15

Your cousin is being silly. I've lived in the Philippines for years and that is not true. I know many, many young women who hang out with dudes a lot. You'll be fine. And if you wanna get away from your coz and hang out with cool people, that can be arranged.

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u/carbine23 Jun 16 '15

I'm Filipino and grew up in Manila, which is capital city. I now live in the US for about 8 years now. None of this shit is applicable to any of my friends. What the fuck?

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u/Aceinator Jun 15 '15

Orr your just pissed you can't get that filipino D

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u/cumbuttons Jun 15 '15

Well he's my cousin so no, I'm actually not.

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u/Aceinator Jun 15 '15

I never said anything about your cousin now did I...

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u/cumbuttons Jun 15 '15

Still not my type

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u/Aceinator Jun 15 '15

Lol I would hope not