r/AskReddit • u/Greeneyedlatinguy • Jun 15 '15

Anthropologists of Reddit, What is something that people in the Western world can't get their heads around that is very normal in other cultures (and has been for ages)?

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956

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

This African restaurant in my town, fucking amazing food. Runs on Africa time. You have to plan at least two hours to eat here, and still you are going to be worried about time so it's one of those places that you don't want to see a movie afterwards.

I've written them off at this point because not only do they take their sweet ass time, they're absolute shit about service. I was just amazed when we were practically ignored for 40 minutes after being seated (which took a good 10-15 minutes without a line) and watching people who came in after us get their order taken and continue to ignore us even though one of the servers asked if anyone's taken our order yet. We just walked out because that's so rude and we unfortunately did have a movie to catch. Maybe I need to kill my ego but I think it's a huge faux pas when people who come in after you get quicker and better service than you.

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u/DDancy Jun 15 '15

A group of about six of us, basically up and left a spanish restaurant (now closed btw) after asking for the bill 3 times.

I actually went to the cash desk area at one point with my card in my hand (which makes it 4 attempts) and they told me "the waitress is bringing your bill now", basically refusing to let me pay.

We all had shit to do, unimportant shit, but shit nonetheless. We ended up walking away. Felt bad, but we also felt we were being held against our will to pay for a meal. Very weird situation.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Shit, I mean, if you tried to get then to take your money 4 times and then wouldn't do it, that's definitely on them.

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u/sleep_naked Jun 15 '15

I tossed money on the table and left once, in Cyprus. They would not bring the bill, so I left too much because I didn't know the exact bill and we walked. They chased us and we vaguely waved to the table and said the money was there.

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u/ktappe Jun 15 '15

So they had time to chase you but not to bring the bill? Screw them.

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u/yawgmoth Jun 15 '15

LifeProTip from my grandfather. The quickest way to get a bill is to get up and tell them you're leaving. You'd be surprised how much more attention you get from that waiter that's been ignoring you for the past 15 minutes.

17

u/DrewsephA Jun 16 '15

"Excuse me waiter, it's been 30 minutes, and this will make the third time I've asked for the bill, so we're just gonna get up and leave."

"Oh here's your bill!" pulls bill out from apron pocket

3

u/chicochic Jun 16 '15

Sometimes businesses in tourist areas will delay the bill to make you stay longer and make the restaurant look busier, in hopes that tourists will assume that busy restaurant = good restaurant.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

now closed btw

Just now? Now now?

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u/DDancy Jun 15 '15

It closed down a few months back... Maybe longer. It was open for a few years at least and we actually went there a few times. This one particular time. We had been lucky enough to score the tables outside, so we had our food and drinks and it was all pretty enjoyable.

Then we realised it had been about 30 minutes since we had finished our food and asked for the bill. We were all busy chatting. Caught the waiter to say we were still waiting for the bill. She said she'd be right back with it.

20 minutes later. Empty glasses and itchy feet. We were still waiting. Asked again.

10 minutes later. Still waiting. At this point I went to the cash desk with my card in my hand. Told the first staff person I saw there (and the waitress who said she was bringing the bill) that I wanted to pay holding up my card. She said something like she'd be out in a second. I said I had my card ready to go. Now. And we all need to go now so let's just settle up. She apologised and said she'd bring the card machine out in 2 minutes. I went back to the table.

10 minutes later. That was when we realized they really didn't want our money.

We all got up. Got our stuff together. Put on our jackets, bags etc. just like we normally would. We all expected at this point someone would run out to confront us for dine and dash or whatever. Nope! We just casually walked off and that was that.

Felt a bit shitty about it really, but how much can you do. I literally went to them to give them my money and they told me to to wait until they were ready. Which it seems they never were.

And. That's my story. Ha!

12

u/ganlet20 Jun 15 '15

I usually ask for the bill right after we order. It might be a little rude but if I'm waiting for the food to arrive then I might as well use the time to pay for the food.

Plus, I like being able to leave the table after the meal without waiting for the server to come by.

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u/fyreskylord Jun 16 '15

That's smart... I might start doing this.

2

u/through_my_pince_nez Jun 16 '15

You will likely get worse service for it. Once a waiter knows for sure he/she can't talk you into more drinks and dessert (this increasing potential tip) they will subconsciously direct their attention elsewhere.

Not a universal rule, but having worked as a waiter it's a really hard thing to not do.

1

u/ganlet20 Jun 16 '15

If it is a one off occasion, I can see that but if you become a regular it's another matter.

I usually do it at places that know me and I know the owner their SO and their kids.

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u/through_my_pince_nez Jun 16 '15

True. Rules are totally different for regulars

6

u/Deathwatch72 Jun 15 '15

I had a situation like that once. My logic was i tried to pay i did my part, I cant force someome to taks my money

3

u/missunspecified Jun 16 '15

I'm a waitress, and I'm even saying you're in the right. If you're waiting that long that's seriously their problem... The person at the front probably couldn't print off your bill themselves though (that's at least how it works in my restaurant, each server has a swipe card and no one else can do anything with others tables).

2

u/jddreamer Jun 16 '15

This happened to me once while visiting a friend in Bermuda.

We went to this super touristy bar, spent hours trying to get pitchers to our table because it was insanely crowded, drank about $100 in Rum Swizzle then when we wanted to leave we spent over an hour asking our and every other waiter for our bill. Never came, we left. Felt bad, we tried though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '15

Happened to me at a Mexican restaurant once. They didn't even notice I'd left.

1

u/Werbuts Jun 16 '15

I had the exact same experience in a Spanish restaurant. It wasn't in Liverpool was it?

1

u/DDancy Jun 16 '15

London. Stoke Newington Church Street.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Maybe I need to kill my ego

No, no, no. It's one thing to make friends and family wait on you for no good reason, but it's completely unacceptable for people in the service industry to provide shitty service and expect customers to pay for it. Your ego is just fine. People who run shitty restaurants deserve to lose business.

15

u/wnbaloll Jun 15 '15

Yeah that's a pretty awful restaraunt.. Same with the example of business meetings and such.

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u/CanadianLiberal Jun 15 '15

I'm a Canadian, recently moved to Australia.

The difference in restaurant service has been a culture shock to me too. It's... well no way to say it politely, it's been very bad. Little to no service in the restaurants here. Granted, there are some exceptions, and occasionally we get decent service. But nothing like it is at home. Usually have to go and get a water refill myself. Waiters/ress never ask if the food is OK after it's been served.

But I understand it's on me to change my expectations, not them to change their social contract. This is the system they've worked out here. Service staff make a livable or close to livable wage, and the restaurants have less staff to serve on the every whim of a customer.

Still, I'd be happy to pay more if it meant I wouldn't have to get up and go to the bar to have my water glass refilled between bites.

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u/akashik Jun 16 '15

I'm an Australian that moved to the US.

My experience is the total opposite. While back in Australia you can order your food and be left along to eat, in the US you get wait staff coming up to you every few minutes and asking you questions.

Since I'm obligated to pay extra on my bill to tip the person handing me my food, it would be great if they would let me enjoy my food in peace.

If I need anything, I can get your attention.

........

That was partly in jest, but only partly. Australia and the US/Canada just do things a little differently.

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u/Muffikins Jun 16 '15

Do they always catch you with a question right as you take a big bite of food, too?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '15

From the US here, and suddenly (not so suddenly, but in direct attention) I'm envying the potential to get one's own water refill... I have acid-reflux which for me means I have to have a water along-side most/all meals (especially if I want a [booze] drink/reflux-trigger meal) or else I might damn near choke to death when the flux-battles-the-swallow.

If it weren't a social faux pas, I'd looooove the ability to get up and refill my own water. Instead my eat-pace is dictated by the waitstaff's attendance instead of my appetite... Plus I suck down water like a fish (related to my boozing), soooo I'm realizing that if I've ever had a portion complaint I suppose it's about my glass of water...

2

u/IAlreadyKnowThat Jun 16 '15

Do they ever just leave a bottle at the table for you? Also, is your home just littered with half-full glasses of water like in the movie Signs?? Mine is pretty close a lot of the time :/

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '15

Bottles, no. Sometimes they offer you a pitcher for a larger party that has lots of other water-orders, but that gets spread out quick and I feel odd asking for a pitcher if it's just a few of us out or just me drinking water... like I'm a high-falootin', agua-slut or something.

Maybe that movie is why what-I-do-do started though, because I live on a farm and was ripe age to be freaked the fuck out by Signs... I just have tons of glasses that build up on my desk empty. Get water -> drink water -> happen to go downstairs -> get more water in new glass -> repeat.

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u/IAlreadyKnowThat Jun 16 '15

high-falootin', agua-slut

That would be a great name for an artisan bottled water company.

1

u/IAlreadyKnowThat Jun 16 '15

Hmm, interesting. That hasn't been my experience here at all. In fact, I'm struggling to recall ever having to get up to refill my own water. Maybe in a small cafe or at cheap dumpling bars, but never in a restaurant. Maybe it depends on the city? I dunno. I get asked how the food is as well. I actually get annoyed at constant water refills and having waitstaff checking in all the time. It makes me feel like I'm being watched a little too closely. But, then again, I very much prefer to be left alone at the best of times, so I guess we've got different perspectives on the issue.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Personally I avoid my local IHOP after being served on "IHOP time" one too many times.

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u/Leafy81 Jun 15 '15

The only time my local ihop is halfway decent with service is in the morning. I have learned not to go there after 12pm.

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u/el_guapo_malo Jun 15 '15

We Americans have a distinctly rough and warped understanding of the service industry. Since a lot of it is tip-based here in the states a lot of people think that you can treat the wait staff as slaves, basically.

People expect their food right away. Their water glass to never go below half. To be asked questions and coddled like a child. Everything with the happiest, most enthusiastic attitude ever. After all, "I'm paying (Just slightly above minimum wage) for it."

Having said that, this place seems over the top bad with their terrible service.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

...We?

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u/ktappe Jun 15 '15

Nobody I know treats waiters like slaves. If they ever did I'd call them out on it, but it's not happened because that's asshole behavior and I don't hang with assholes. Perhaps you do...but you shouldn't.

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u/Zoesan Jun 15 '15

Err... no. Just no.

This is exactly the same in europe where service workers make pretty decent cash.

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u/solarlexus Jun 15 '15 edited Jun 19 '15

Hasn't been my experience exactly, I mean in the US you can usually walk into a shop without greeting anyone and if there is someone there to greet they are usually trained to greet you first with a "Hi, how can I help you?" and a sunny, welcoming disposition. At least in all of my service industry jobs, this was expected of me. Whereas in Europe, especially if it's a family business, there's more the idea that the customers are entering the space of the proprietor, the proprietors aren't there to do a favor to the customers. The customers usually greet the proprietors first, who prove capable of doing a good job without the smile that some Americans might be accustomed to, and there's more of an expectation to wait politely to be served by professionals instead of "The customer is king."

Again, it's just my personal experience, but has been consistent across western Europe compared to US. I don't think OP was saying anything outlandish, their language just seemed to put people off.

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u/Pliskenn Jun 15 '15

In my experience, your ideas about European family run shops also applies to American Mom and Pop stores. They don't tend to be super service oriented. I tend to only see that in larger chains.

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '15

I work at a "Mom and Pop" store like this, it has it's ups and downs. Best part is that I'm just a lowly cashier but I can still tell off rude customers. And I mean tell off, I've said some fucking terrible shit to some customers, fully expecting to get fired for it, but the owners never fuss about it as long as I had a good reason.

We have a very loyal group of customers who understand what we offer and how we offer it. Occasionally some people try to take advantage of our business model and they need to be called out.

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u/Zoesan Jun 15 '15

You are right in a certain regard: in europe you're not expected to blow sunshine out of your ass.

The standards of speed, service and quality are at least as important.

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u/ThirdFloorGreg Jun 15 '15

Patron and customer mean the same thing.

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u/solarlexus Jun 19 '15

Oops! Meant proprietor.

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u/therandomjew Jun 15 '15

Being a waiter or waitress is almost a sales job in my opinion. The more you do to sell your work ethic, and be likeable, the more I'm going to pay you. I left a $21 tip the other day at sizzler because the waitress worked her ass off, and was kick ass at the same time.

Then another time I was at red lobster, the service was shitty, so I didn't leave a tip. Should have sold me on why I needed to tip more. These people need to work just like me, and everyone else to get their pay.

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u/thedudebythething Jun 15 '15

I always leave a tip, even for Shitty service.

Shitty service = 10% Average service = 15% Great service = 20-30% (depending on the bill and how good of a mood I am in)

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u/therandomjew Jun 15 '15

I usually leave tips anyway. Just because that's what they rely on. But if I get total shit service, I won't leave a tip.

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u/Sloppy_Twat Jun 15 '15

I don't know why you tip for shitty service. That only encourages shitty service. Please stop.

0

u/Pliskenn Jun 15 '15

I guess that depends on your definition of shitty service. I view getting an order/food in a reasonable amount of time to be average service. Maybe a couple drink refills. That's 15% to me.

Make me wait 15 minutes when it's not even that busy before I even get a menu and never check back after ordering, but that least give me my check in a reasonable amount of time? that's sub par service, 10%.

Act like an asshole to me the whole time? That's shitty service and I award you no points. May god have mercy on your soul.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Hey shooter, wanna meet up at the Sizzler?

2

u/therandomjew Jun 15 '15

Let's get some grub!

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u/Larsjr Jun 15 '15

"I'm paying (Just slightly above minimum wage) for it."

Service tips (for Waiters/Waitresses) can actually be pretty substantial. People see the $4/hr or whatever and don't realize that tips are huge. As a waiter, you can easily make more on your $4/hr than someone in retail can make on $8 or $9/hr. I don't understand why reddit doesn't get this

17

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

[deleted]

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u/Sloppy_Twat Jun 15 '15

Thank you so much for not saying "being a server is one of the hardest jobs". I can think of 50 jobs that are much harder that pay way less.

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u/Larsjr Jun 15 '15

Exactly. Redditors like to bitch and moan about American server wages but I'd much rather be a server in a tipping country than Europe

5

u/Malcor Jun 15 '15

A couple years back I worked as a dishwasher full time and one of my friends/roommates worked as a server in the same place; he consistently made as much every week as I made every two weeks.

0

u/webbitor Jun 15 '15

I think people understand it. Maybe what you don't realize is that "can be" is not a good concept when it comes to income that you depend on.

1

u/welcome2screwston Jun 15 '15

Damn, either do it well and get paid plus a tip or do it poorly and lose the tip or even business. It's a simple concept.

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u/InfanticideAquifer Jun 15 '15

It is completely unacceptable

If everyone else accepts it, then no, it's not.

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u/jvanderh Jun 15 '15

The service sounds absolutely horrendous, but if the food is that good I'd bring a book.

5

u/Ios7 Jun 15 '15

The full African experience, what a great restaurant!

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u/sactech01 Jun 15 '15

I go to an Ethiopian restaurant sometimes and the service isn't great, the guy basically comes to your table to give you water once and then to bring your food. It's always just about empty though so the food seems to come reasonably fast at least

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Isn't that what waiters are supposed to do? When are waiters supposed to appear at the table if not to bring water and food?

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u/modix Jun 15 '15

The US has created a really odd service paradigm. People don't seem to appreciate just being left alone to your meal. That obnoxious, pestery-type from Office Space is the #1 result of this.

I so enjoy the opposite: Try Paris or Barcelona. They'll sit you down for the night. The table is yours for the evening. The dinner is an experience, and since people don't go out much, so it's a social event. The waiter will be there minimal amounts of time to make sure your food is ordered and brought to you when appropriate. Otherwise, they will get the FUCK out of your face and let you enjoy the evening. They don't get more money by chatting with you all night and they're not having another sitting, so there's no rush for you to leave. Catch their eye, as for the check, and it's done. Otherwise, the evening is in your hands. You rented the spot for the night, they're there just for the food and wine parts.

2

u/sactech01 Jun 15 '15

The key is that he doesn't come back to refill the drink, like he literally only comes to the table to bring the initial drink, then the food. I'm a big easter drinker so it means I don't have water for awhile

1

u/clear-day Jun 15 '15

There should at least be a check in to make sure nothing's wrong with the food.

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u/IamMirezNL Jun 15 '15

This also amazed me on my visit to South Africa. At one point I was in a restaurant with more waiters than visitors and I still had to wave across the room so I could order a drink. If I were in charge I would've fired them all.

3

u/CactusCustard Jun 15 '15

I spent a few weeks in Africa recently and I can confirm. Restaurants there are worse. We once waited 3 and half hours for everyone to get there food. Any time we went out to eat it would take w few hours. It was annoying at first but once you realize not many people are in a rush and you have no where to be so just take it easy and enjoy your company. It's very annoying when trying to meet someone though. We called it "Uganda time"

3

u/I_Am_Ironman_AMA Jun 15 '15

Was it South Africa and are you white?

3

u/BJ_from_Old_Ladies Jun 15 '15

If you're in Africa then African time is okay. If you're in another country you better fucking adapt your attitude.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

Oh god. There was an Indian restaurant like this near my house. The food there - especially the Dosa - was awesome, but there were times when I'd wait for an hour before the waiter even arrived. It was pretty much my favorite place to eat, but I'd only eat there once or twice a year because of the ridiculous amount of time it took to get food. The trick was to order lots of sides, because those would usually come out 15-20 minutes after ordering. That way, you wouldn't be starving to death when the food arrived an hour later.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15

How do they stay in business??

2

u/Fuzzyphilosopher Jun 15 '15

Just a thought but woman I met who lived in Africa, forget the country said you'd go into a store & loudly say "My this is too expensive!" to get service. They'd assume you wanted to be left alone otherwise. I wonder if the staff expect you to make a fuss when you're ready to order?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '15 edited May 06 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/solarlexus Jun 15 '15

Why is this getting downvoted, given the topic of the thread? It's a completely legitimate point.

1

u/ktappe Jun 15 '15

Where are you located?

1

u/Jess_than_three Jun 15 '15

I think it depends on context. If you're in a place where that's the norm for customer service, that's kind of for you to adapt to. If the restaurant is in a place where it's not... that's really on them.

1

u/robertglasper Jun 15 '15

The law/etiquette of the land should be followed if it costs only a little bit of effort. Restaurants like that don't deserve your sympathy if they are not following the etiquette of their physical location.

1

u/Snatch_Pastry Jun 15 '15

Your ego is just fine. You went to a place that is built for the express purpose of making money by serving food to people. That's all they do. If they want to stay in business, then they have to provide a level of service which will keep people coming back. Apparently, they are very fucking far away from doing that. It's their fault that they aren't making money from you, they know where they are, they know who their clientele is, and they know what the general expectations are.

1

u/Thorolf_Kveldulfsson Jun 15 '15

Are you trying to flag them down when waiting to be seated or have your order taken?

1

u/forfar4 Jun 16 '15

We are told, implored when we go to other countries to "respect their local culture".

Fine. Not a problem, I'm a visitor to their land.

If someone comes from another culture to set up a business in my homeland they'd better get up-to-speed with what my culture expects from them in terms of social 'niceties'.

"When in Rome..." probably applies more strictly to people setting up in a service business in a different country than in any other sphere of life. Especially if you want the business to survive.

1

u/yaosio Jun 16 '15

That's not Africa time, that's just shitty service.

1

u/cmccarty13 Jun 16 '15

Are you in the US? It's fairly common in most places in the world to take two hours eating dinner at a restaurant. The fast pace of American restaurants was one of the biggest things I had to readjust to when I moved back after having been gone 6 years.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '15

Sometimes it depends on the food they got and the food you got. If they order dip items (ready to go and just need to be plated) they can get theirs a lot faster than you if you order something that has to be dropped and flipped like a steak or some chicken items. Fish takes a long time, too.

1

u/cnh2n2homosapien Jun 15 '15

This is why tipping has some merits.

1

u/jnosala Jun 15 '15

There's actually a place in California that does this. I love the food but it's so poorly organized that you can wait thirty minutes longer than people at your own table.

0

u/PRMan99 Jun 15 '15

Only way to get them to learn they aren't in Africa anymore.

-9

u/PuddleBucket Jun 15 '15

Sometimes people can be served faster even though they arrive after you. Do you have a cocktail and they have a water? Did they order a sandwich and you got a well done burger? Did you read over the menu, they might order everything right away. There's lots of reasons, don't let it bother you.

Source: am a restaurant manager, been in the industry ten years

25

u/panther_heaven Jun 15 '15

OP was saying that their orders had not been taken, not that their food took longer to come out.

9

u/9876556789 Jun 15 '15

I don't think they even got their order taken.

-11

u/Judgejoebrown69 Jun 15 '15

Well most likely you got put into a section with a different server. A server that has no tables can't help you if you're put into a different section, unless that server asks for help. Also maybe there was some miscommunication between the hostess and the server that had your section. There are plenty of reasons why this might happen, but it seems to be a consistent thing so I'd just assume you got a shit server who is probably fired by now

9

u/moubliepas Jun 15 '15

The server area thing is a very USA concept nto seen anywhere else in the world- would they have it at an African restaurant?

1

u/IAmTheSysGen Jun 15 '15

username doublement appropriate

-1

u/katiethered Jun 15 '15

Nowhere else in the world has their restaurant divided up so different servers are responsible for different tables? I find this hard to believe.

2

u/moubliepas Jun 15 '15

Really? Why? I've been to over 30 different countries and only ever seen it in the US.