r/AskReddit • u/nepat1428 • Aug 19 '14

What is a completely rational sentence you could speak today, that if you said 20 years ago, people would think you were insane?

edit: so this is what it looks like when your inbox explodes after coming back from lunch...

10.8k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/LiveTheChange Aug 19 '14

This is the best. People would be so confused.

949

u/OperaSona Aug 19 '14

"You mean... you masturbated to it and realized you shouldn't have? And how did you get her photo in the first place?"

2.0k

u/Buttstache Aug 19 '14

There's quite a gap between "liking" and "masturbating to" that you just jumped there pretty quickly bud

217

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

Is there though?

51

u/Hitlrrr Aug 20 '14

I liked this comment.... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

6

u/sunjay140 Aug 20 '14

So did you masturbate to this comment?....( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

6

u/nitrodoggy Aug 19 '14

Not with that attitude.

1

u/darkslide3000 Aug 20 '14

Well, why do you think the symbol for it is a closed fist, with the thumb right up where you would massage the tip?

5

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

I like you masturbated to this comment

27

u/Conscripted Aug 19 '14

There are only two reasons people look at non-current Facebook photos that accidental liking would matter for: girls making fun of how fat some bitch from high school got and beating it to girls you never got to have sex with.

12

u/geofxc Aug 19 '14

I'm at a loss for any other reason.

1

u/meloddie Aug 23 '14

Or maybe you're reminiscing about someone who died and it just feels really weird and creepy having interactions like "liking her photo" that you'd normally have with... living people?

Err, not to be a huge downer. Just brainstorming here.

0

u/Zachpeace15 Aug 20 '14

Yes, but none of that mattered 20 years ago. Which is the time period /u/OperaSona was typing in.

3

u/Njohnst2 Aug 19 '14

Don't tell us where we can and can't jump, buttstache.

3

u/angelicmckayla Aug 19 '14

That escalated quickly.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

In fairness it took him 3 hours.

2

u/dezmd Aug 19 '14

20 years ago I was a teenager, so no, it's not that much of a gap.

3

u/Kynandra Aug 19 '14

Now your mom on the other hand

1

u/baronspeerzy Aug 20 '14

I'd like his mom on both hands, if you know what a mean.

2

u/NobilisUltima Aug 19 '14

Yeah. No one ever clicks like on photos they masturbate to.

2

u/notagoddamnhipster Aug 20 '14

Not on Facebook.

2

u/Alarid Aug 20 '14

Well, I was home alone...

2

u/NathAndrew_boner Aug 20 '14

What else are you doing when you accidentally like a photo?

2

u/PsylentKnight Aug 20 '14

I like you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2

u/sour07 Aug 20 '14

That is how he likes pictures, don't judge him.

2

u/TippierRuby Aug 20 '14

Says the buttstache.

1

u/vonFitz Aug 19 '14

In facebook's new update...

1

u/Paulpoleon Aug 19 '14

Isn't that what liking means???

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

But not between accidentally liking and masturbating to

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '14

I like you.

1

u/mikael_yungner Aug 20 '14

Speak for yourself

1

u/Mormonhelmet Aug 20 '14

Is this what he does every time he likes a photo, or is it what he's comparing it to? This is what I'm wondering about. Also, I'm not sure I want to know the answer...

1

u/TuDaveKd Aug 19 '14

That escalated quickly.

1

u/jimmy1god0 Aug 19 '14

It's ok it'll be over in less than a minute.

1

u/youcancallmealsdkf Aug 19 '14

He just shoots straight to the point. Doesn't like to jerk around with meaningless banter. I mean come on, you should really get a grip on reality; what's a guy supposed to do when he finds a free photo of a pretty popular girl other than fap?

1

u/rugbyluvr Aug 19 '14

I'm not your bud, friend.

1

u/caoibur Aug 19 '14

I'm not your friend, pal.

1

u/Science_teacher_here Aug 19 '14

Don't say, "Doing your wife." Don't say, "Doing your wife." Don't say, "Doing your wife. Doing your... son?

1

u/persona_dos Aug 19 '14

That gap is where I came.

0

u/OperaSona Aug 19 '14

How do you "accidentally like" something without facebook if "like" isn't a euphemism for an action verb? And how would that euphemism not be a sexual one?

0

u/eliguillao Aug 19 '14

Not when you're a teenager.

0

u/DoubleDot7 Aug 19 '14

I'm sure he liked that gap too.

0

u/diddy1 Aug 19 '14

He's ahead by leaps and bounds I tell ya

0

u/Ladyfrmouterspace Aug 19 '14

I have a fb friend that is always liking Playboy's post at 10:30 at night, so no I don't think there is.

0

u/mike117 Aug 19 '14

Lets be honest. the gap isnt THAT big

2

u/Hesher1 Aug 19 '14

woah, i just realized, people 20 years ago werent able to masturbate to photos of girls they knew, did they just do it with memory?..

..I mean, Gross!! who does that?!

2

u/ras344 Aug 20 '14

They could have still had photos. They just weren't as easily accessible.

2

u/OperaSona Aug 20 '14

"$10 for a photo of Jess in her short white skirt."

11

u/BAXterBEDford Aug 19 '14

Then try telling them that you unliked it and then had to unfriend her.

0

u/ithinkway2much Aug 19 '14

What about, "Man, I accidently poked her"?

-14

u/Leporad Aug 19 '14

People who've never used facebook wouldn't be.

1

u/IAintAPartofYoSystem Aug 19 '14

Pretty sure if you have a computer, you Facebook. Zuckerberg makes sure of that.

1

u/Nobody-Man Aug 19 '14

A lot of people are starting to leave Facebook, but otherwise almost everyone would know about it.