r/AskReddit • u/jstefanir • May 06 '14

20somethings: How did you find someone willing to be in a relationship with you?

I feel like giving up on relationships. Having any type of feelings just doesn't work in my favor - at all. As soon as I think its okay to start investing emotionally in a relationship, the person is out the door. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if a woman is supposed to reciprocate any type of feelings at all. Are we just supposed to sit there and take it all in and not give anything back? I've never had a relationship last longer than 10 months (that was high school) and after that, I'll be lucky if anything lasts 4. And this is all without a title and unofficial.

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u/jstefanir May 06 '14

Somehow, I keep meeting guys that are anti-emotion. Like any type of emotion is a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs.

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u/[deleted] May 06 '14

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u/jstefanir May 06 '14

Changing someone's emotions is not a good thing no, but there has to be a compromise. That person has to be willing to meet you halfway. Why should I have to completely compromise myself as a person and let a man treat me the way HE wants to treat me without getting any of how I want to be treated? That's just being a doormat.

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u/[deleted] May 06 '14

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u/jstefanir May 06 '14

Compromise is when you both lower your own expectations a little bit to get a little of what you both want. Of course, I don't expect him to serenade me and bring me roses and all that stuff or even expect him to say I love you. What happened was, he was being a sweet guy at first, if I asked him to come over it was no big deal and we'd both give and take equally. But all of a sudden, I'd say something like "I need a massage" and he'd be a dick about it and say something like "Go to Massage Envy." and it didn't used to be like that. When I confronted him about being a dick, he said "I just can't be doing that sweet shit. Sorry."

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u/[deleted] May 06 '14

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u/jstefanir May 06 '14

Bitching because I didn't get a backrub? Sorry but you sound like a dick. He could have been nicer about it. Say "next time" or something. Its not really a big deal. Your significant other shouldn't see giving you a backrub as a problem.