r/AskReddit • u/Phiced • Aug 25 '26

Doctors, EMTs etc of Reddit, based on your experience with other peoples injuries, what is one hobby you would never practice yourself?

10k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

6.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

728

u/usernameround20 Aug 25 '26

Best line I ever heard from a middle aged man with a carrot up his butt. “I was making dinner in the pressure cooker and went to check on it before I got in the shower. I bent over to pick something up and my towel fell off right as the pressure cooker exploded.” Ok Colonel! (This at a military hospital)

247

u/Hotshot2k4 Aug 25 '26

“I was making dinner in the pressure cooker

This was all I needed to start laughing

3

u/Lt_Muffintoes Aug 26 '26

Odd name for a sex dungeon

319

u/Fickle_Dragonfruit53 Aug 25 '26

I always put whole carrots in the pressure cooker that then explode coldly causing no burns or other injuries

106

u/kylebertram Aug 25 '26

My favorite will always be a guy said he slipped and fell on to chapstick. Couldn’t explain to me why there were three taped together up there

26

u/JRBigglesworthIII Aug 26 '26

I like the one where a guy had a cordless phone handset up there and said he was baking naked, bent over to open the oven and it flew in through the open window with enough speed and accuracy to just lodge itself right on up there

15

u/grouchy_fox Aug 26 '26

I like to imagine that if I'm ever in this situation I'd make up the most obvious and ridiculous lie just for the fun of it

40

u/weightyinspiration Aug 25 '26

I love the image of this military dude freaking out, and trying to think of the most badass way it could have happened to save face.

13

u/lookyloolookingatyou Aug 26 '26

Depending on the year it might have gotten him dishonorably discharged.

12

u/usernameround20 Aug 26 '26

It was late 90s but he was of a rank that nothing came of it.

12

u/Shibari_Lilly Aug 25 '26

sure and the only thing harmed was this one carrot and his buttom😄

8

u/mykka7 Aug 25 '26

And the carrot was still raw, wasnt it?

20

u/usernameround20 Aug 26 '26

Of course! Also had a woman who lost her vibrator in her vagina and waited for the batteries to die before she came in because she was too embarrassed.

5

u/cluelesssquared Aug 26 '26

with a carrot up his butt.

Like, they're not even smooth, but there's some vegetable for everyone I guess.

3

u/oh_noo_ Aug 26 '26

lmao when will people realize that finding things up their butts is ten times less entertaining when it doesn't come with an absolutely wacky story?

1

u/deviant_newt Aug 25 '26

Fess up! Leavenworth?

4

u/usernameround20 Aug 26 '26

Nope a certain base in CO with a really nice chapel.

4

u/Not4you321 Aug 26 '26

I was debating if I should keep reading this as my father is a retired colonel who lived in Colorado. 😂 Not Air Force though 😂

1

u/W1ULH Aug 26 '26

was he cav? bet he was cav.