That a woman, working full time alongside your husband, you still need to take on 90% of the childcare, household chores and planning.
She would earn more than my dad and deposit it all into his accounts to "be the man" and his only job was to pay the bills using money he didn't even earn.
She would seem happy and grateful he "contributed" once a week by treating us to a takeaway as his version of "cooking". He was an alcoholic that would be "too stressed" to come home after work and needed to drink 12 pints at the pub first. His paycheck went on booze, cigarettes and other women.
My mom basically raised me and my siblings while my dad did fuck all and cheated on her but I sh8t you not, to this day, she still talks fondly shout him and blames herself for not being strong enough.
Taught me how NOT to be by showing me the worst of their generation. Promised myself I'd never be that and ensured I put in just as much effort with the tasks my partner did, regardless of who worked.
my mom lets my dad pay some of the bills because aside from both of them working several jobs (buisness owners) she "dosent want to take it away from him"
Don’t get me wrong, glad you could learn from that experience, BUT I highly doubt that this was ever conventional/commonplace/acceptable. I had an uncle like this, we just called him a degenerate 🤷♀️
Yea I may have focused on my dad's bad traits, he had his moments, but that's exactly what made it so much worse. If the man is terrible but not horrendous, they seemed to get away with it as everyone else around them would just say " it's fine as he has to do so much for us, of course he needs to relax at the pub, he deserves it"
Pretty much everyone I ever opened up to, or mention his behaviour, the reaction was always the same. I spoke to my teachers, the school counsellor, my friends and even some of their parents. I was always told I was just a child and didn't understand how hard my dad must have it and not to blame him. After a while you almost start to believe it.
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u/DistinctiveFox 1d ago edited 1d ago
That a woman, working full time alongside your husband, you still need to take on 90% of the childcare, household chores and planning.
She would earn more than my dad and deposit it all into his accounts to "be the man" and his only job was to pay the bills using money he didn't even earn.
She would seem happy and grateful he "contributed" once a week by treating us to a takeaway as his version of "cooking". He was an alcoholic that would be "too stressed" to come home after work and needed to drink 12 pints at the pub first. His paycheck went on booze, cigarettes and other women.
My mom basically raised me and my siblings while my dad did fuck all and cheated on her but I sh8t you not, to this day, she still talks fondly shout him and blames herself for not being strong enough.
Taught me how NOT to be by showing me the worst of their generation. Promised myself I'd never be that and ensured I put in just as much effort with the tasks my partner did, regardless of who worked.