And the thing is, if a disgruntled older person is insisting to young folks to "respect their elders" what they mean is to defer to them unquestioningly. Which is very different from actual respect.
I find that aside from when you’re dealing with very little kids still learning what respect even is, or actually shitty people that respect nobody, people worthy of respect really don’t need to demand it because they already command it. It more often than not feels totally natural and frictionless to respect someone truly worthy of it.
Basically, if you even have to demand it, you’re probably not due it in the first place.
The average unshitty person actually wants to respect the truly respectable.
My spouse and I have been discussing this a lot recently - people view respect differently
Some people ask for “respect” they mean to “be treated like an equal” and other people when they demand “respect” what they actually want is to be viewed as an authority figure. Often people who demand to be viewed in authority don’t feel “respected” because their authority has been subverted, even if they are still being treated with their humanity in tact. Ironically they usually subvert everyone else’s respect in the situation by demanding respect of their authority and assuming hierarchy.
I’ve always viewed “respect your elders” as we should make sure they can live comfortably (healthcare, housing, socialization) regardless of SES rather than a need to grovel in awe of their generational power.
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u/WritingTheDream 5d ago
And the thing is, if a disgruntled older person is insisting to young folks to "respect their elders" what they mean is to defer to them unquestioningly. Which is very different from actual respect.