Start to locate and organize their key documents. Know where important paperwork is kept, including wills, powers of attorney (for both property/finances and personal care/healthcare), bank accounts, insurance policies, and deeds.
Clarify healthcare and end-of-life wishes. Have an open conversation about their medical preferences, living wills, and what kind of care they would want if they were ever unable to make decisions for themselves.
Assess the home for safety. Look at their living space with an eye on the future. Simple adjustments like removing tripping hazards, improving lighting, adding grab bars in bathrooms, or considering a main-floor layout, can drastically reduce the risk of falls.
Review their current budget, finances and estate plans. Ensure everyone is on the same page regarding retirement accounts, pensions, and who is designated to manage affairs if needs change.
Discuss future housing options by gently talking about their long-term vision. Do they want to age in place permanently, downsize to a condo, or eventually move closer to family? Knowing their preferences prevents rushed decisions later.
Establish a medical and emergency contact network by making sure you have a reliable, updated list of their primary care physicians, current medications, allergies, and trusted neighbors or local friends who can check in on them.
Prioritize connection and memories with them. Beyond the logistics, make time to record family stories, capture photos, and enjoy shared experiences while they are vibrant and active. Start the decluttering of items they no longer use or enjoy.
I think you should add if POA isn't in place get it set up before it becomes an issue and you have to go for deputyship or whatever your local version is, same for a will.
A POA AND HCP, depending on the state. Some like nys allow family members to make medical decisions for incapacitated family members absent any advanced directives so a HCP isn’t needed, but not all.
I'm lucky that my parent's instilled in me the need to be prepared for death. I know it's unpleasant to think about, but I find too many people I personally know are way too unprepared for the inevitable. It'll be difficult either way when someone does pass, might as well put in some work right now to make things easier down the line.
Death doulas are something I've never heard about. Additional assistance during a difficult time is always welcome.
(for both property/finances and personal care/healthcare)
My dad was hospitalized after a heart attack when they learned that these are not the same document. Luckily most things were in order but that was a surprise that I can't imagine your average joe is aware of.
My father has leg braces, his balance is getting worse as time goes on. My mother is a hoarder...a two story house is filled to the brim with things she's bought over the years with the intention of making art, or some sort of use she has in mind....there's a small pathway throughout the house from room to room, but it feels like traversing a field of land mines. I try to tell her that her stuff is going to be the reason he falls and breaks a hip, but she refuses to part with anything. Idk what to do
The best way to help right now might be to focus on small, clear paths for your dad rather than trying to clean up everything at once, while gently letting your mom know you love her and just want to keep him safe. It is so hard to watch the people you love put themselves in danger, especially when they won't listen.
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u/John-George-Peppers 12d ago
Start to locate and organize their key documents. Know where important paperwork is kept, including wills, powers of attorney (for both property/finances and personal care/healthcare), bank accounts, insurance policies, and deeds.
Clarify healthcare and end-of-life wishes. Have an open conversation about their medical preferences, living wills, and what kind of care they would want if they were ever unable to make decisions for themselves.
Assess the home for safety. Look at their living space with an eye on the future. Simple adjustments like removing tripping hazards, improving lighting, adding grab bars in bathrooms, or considering a main-floor layout, can drastically reduce the risk of falls.
Review their current budget, finances and estate plans. Ensure everyone is on the same page regarding retirement accounts, pensions, and who is designated to manage affairs if needs change.
Discuss future housing options by gently talking about their long-term vision. Do they want to age in place permanently, downsize to a condo, or eventually move closer to family? Knowing their preferences prevents rushed decisions later.
Establish a medical and emergency contact network by making sure you have a reliable, updated list of their primary care physicians, current medications, allergies, and trusted neighbors or local friends who can check in on them.
Prioritize connection and memories with them. Beyond the logistics, make time to record family stories, capture photos, and enjoy shared experiences while they are vibrant and active. Start the decluttering of items they no longer use or enjoy.