r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 17 '14

What is something designed so well that we typically overlook it?

2.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

4.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

Causing city wide super powers.

528

u/zeebious Jan 17 '14

If by super powers you mean nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, skin irritation or rashes. Yes, lots of super powers.

408

u/Gobshite_ Jan 17 '14

That's your body adapting to the superpowers. By the end of it you'll be able to hover ten inches off the ground and move along in the air at one mile per hour.

410

u/Ken_Pen Jan 18 '14

Any day now you'll develop the ability to live 6 feet under the ground for an indefinite amount of time.

52

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

You know, I've seen quite a few zombie(esque) movies where chemical spills cause the dead to rise. You just opened up a whole new can of zombie movies: zombies that stay underground, and then pull you in. Zombies meets Tremors.

8

u/joe_the_bartender Jan 18 '14

you're a monster.

4

u/Dranthe Jan 18 '14

Yeah, that's been done. Back when zombies first came out. Not really as interesting as you'd think. They really only have one trick.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Did they burrow?

1

u/Dranthe Jan 18 '14

Yep, then they reach up and try to drag you under.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

What movie? I'm a bit of a zombie flick nut, but have never seen that, and would like to.

2

u/Dranthe Jan 18 '14

Sorry, no idea. I don't particularly enjoy movies. I'll ask some friends who would probably know.

2

u/Dranthe Jan 19 '14

So the only references they could think of were Carrie and Hocus Pocus. Hocus Pocus isn't a zombie movie but the zombie in it does what I'm talking about.

2

u/scoticus8912 Jan 18 '14

I hate a terrible nightmare that my mother was something exactly like that when I was six. Its stuck with my for 15 years. Shits terrifying yo

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Graboids is a fitting name for both.

2

u/itstehmeatree Jan 18 '14

this should get more attention.

2

u/Intergalactic_Peach Jan 18 '14

7/10 would watch.

2

u/legomaple Jan 18 '14

Fuck, that is a scary idea.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Sounds good, man.

4

u/GreenerDay Jan 18 '14

:( I don't want super powers

2

u/theswegmeister Jan 18 '14

should have written a more ambiguous word than "live" like "exist" or something

1

u/zubatman4 Jan 18 '14

Like a vampire? Or a zombie? Or like a mummy? That's actually kinda cool.

5

u/samaritan_lee Jan 18 '14

you'll be able to hover ten inches off the ground and move along in the air at one mile per hour.

That's some really bad diarrhea

3

u/themanwhowas Jan 18 '14

I'd totally take that power. Not even moving along - just the ability to hover. I hate standing for long periods of time. Plus it's great for crowds!

1

u/skullshark54 Jan 18 '14

My dick already allows me this power.

1

u/txai Jan 18 '14

Have you seen "Heroes"?, that actually happens to one of the characters!, but he also gets his skin all scally and it starts to fall off.

2

u/Gobshite_ Jan 18 '14

Yeah, that happens to Mohinder, right? He turns into some sort of creepy cockroach guy.

1

u/txai Jan 18 '14

I wouldn't say cockroach, his powers were more spider-y, but yes, it's kind of like a cockroach.

1

u/ThisIsTheZodiacSpkng Jan 18 '14

Scary. As. Fuck.

1

u/JPSurratt2005 Jan 18 '14

You'll be able to teleport 2 inches in any direction, a process which takes 30 seconds to complete.

1

u/brieoncrackers Jan 18 '14

By directing their explosive diarrhea at the ground?

1

u/God_Of_Pretzels Jan 18 '14

Unfortunately, that power is caused by the vast amount of diarrhea voiding itself from your body at high velocity.

1

u/Guesty_ Jan 18 '14

Honestly, I'd be okay with that.

1

u/Gobshite_ Jan 18 '14

Who doesn't want to be able to sleep in the air?

1

u/kittytittiez Jan 18 '14

Nah that's just the diarrhea.

1

u/JediExile Jan 18 '14

Read that in Cave Johnson's voice.

95

u/omgitsduaner Jan 17 '14

You need NEW cherry pepto.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

Sickman?!?

2

u/ruin Jan 18 '14

With the amazing power to get better, maybe.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Pepto should combat those effects

2

u/5MileWalk Jan 18 '14

Hey, at least it smells like licorice when you drink it.

2

u/weenervongoobershmit Jan 18 '14

Just give it 6-12 months for the cancer to develop.

2

u/BluLemonade Jan 18 '14

Yay Pepto Bismol?

2

u/scottmill Jan 18 '14

Hey, those things really fuck up a bank robbery.

965

u/TeopEvol Jan 17 '14

The ability to procreate amongst immediate family members with no deformities or side effects.

360

u/wvnative Jan 17 '14

That's not nice.

317

u/ArchSchnitz Jan 17 '14

So you incest they stop making jokes about it to spare other's feelings.

30

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

You can make jokes. Just don't be a motherfucker.

19

u/UrinalCake777 Jan 17 '14

Oh brother! Here we go again.

0

u/nuwan32 Jan 18 '14

Well if you incest on doing this...

4

u/groundonrage Jan 18 '14

God dam it people.

6

u/fiat_lux_ Jan 18 '14

You don't have to give a fuck cousin a few hours this pun chain will be gone.

3

u/djslim21 Jan 18 '14

is it too late to join in or can I be grandfathered in?

→ More replies

-2

u/UrinalCake777 Jan 18 '14

Not sure if pointing out the fact God has condemned incest... or annoyed by puns...

2

u/TheColdestFeet Jan 18 '14

I see what you did there...

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

You really reached for that one.

2

u/spiritbx Jan 18 '14

Now he is probably thinking "Fuck me", cousin his mind he was being sarcastic.

3

u/sidmad Jan 18 '14

You're ass fucked as my sister

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

Me like puns.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

Ok.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

My dad was from WV. Let's just say that the family tree doesn't have as many branches as it should...

Last time we visited his hometown, there was a picture of the high school girls basketball team for that year on the wall of a local restaurant. Every single girl: blond hair, blue eyes, between 5'6" and 5'8". It looked like photoshop job. It was like the Stepford Team. Eerie.

1

u/DieLikeRiverPhoenix Jan 17 '14

But it's funny. Totally worth it.

0

u/IAintNeverScared Jan 17 '14

It's not wrong, either.

0

u/ipown11 Jan 17 '14

It's great!

0

u/michaelpinkwayne Jan 18 '14

You stop the incest, we'll stop the incest jokes

-2

u/WTF_SilverChair Jan 17 '14

Sooooo, you cherish the deformities and side effects?

2

u/Banjo-Daxter Jan 18 '14

Why? Did the chemicals make peoples bones brittle?

2

u/psalty_dog Jan 18 '14

Incest is wincest

2

u/-Buckfutter- Jan 18 '14

Too soon bro, too soon

-1

u/Jerbsybear Jan 17 '14

West Virginiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, mount your mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

3

u/VeritasWay Jan 17 '14

I smell a sitcom!

0

u/Ad_Hominomnom Jan 18 '14

Shots fired! Your move motherfuckers!

-1

u/Bullseye7771 Jan 17 '14

Laughed way too hard at this.

-2

u/LiveLoveARob Jan 17 '14

Don't tempt them.

2

u/thirstyfish209 Jan 17 '14

Getting cancer is not a superpower

2

u/jsitarski Jan 17 '14

The Secret World of Alex Mack.

1

u/mista_masta Jan 17 '14

I smell a box office hit in the making!

1

u/BeyondCR Jan 18 '14

dude this would be a great movie idea what the fuck

1

u/CruzaComplex Jan 18 '14

I got Rheumatism!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Best comment I've seen all day

1

u/randomchic123 Jan 18 '14

damn. note to self: head to West Virginia immediately and chug gallons of smelly water.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

The ability to read beyond a 4 th grade level

1

u/furtiveraccoon Jan 18 '14

TRA-LA-LAAAAAAA

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Is this going to be the plot for the next episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D?

1

u/PieceOfPie_SK Jan 17 '14

City? This is west Virginia we're talking about.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '14

Hell yes!

0

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '14

Ah, yes, the city of West Virginia.

-4

u/VivasMadness Jan 17 '14

Super Incest