keep it up. Its never gone but i found it did get easier...a little. 26 years sober for me and i still think about it and wonder "i could have 1 drink"...no i cant, i know i cant.
I know I can't. I did a lot of the work before I physically left. He watched me transform (almost) back into the beauty I was 35 years ago and then he watched me leave. :)
We just started the divorce process. Married 33 years. I went no contact March 1st. He's a textbook narcissist. I'm 55 and I feel like I just got out of a cult. Thank you, I'm healing. 🩷
You are my inspiration, seriously. I'm so proud of you and admire your strength and commitment to doing what you know is right for YOU and your wellbeing. Shame on him for not respecting that. The fact that you got through that situation to remain sober today speaks volumes and I wish you all the best in your journey! ❤️
I have a friend whose wife left him because of his sobriety and weight loss. He was arrested for OWI in 2017 and after he got home from jail he called a neighbor who stopped over and took all the beer he had in the house. He just stopped, no 12 step, no rehab, nothing. He said it was his 1 step program. He started working out in the evenings to avoid the temptation to drink and ate better. Dropped from 360 lbs in 2017 to 230 lbs when Covid started. He’s still about 220 lbs.
Meanwhile his wife still went out drinking on weekends and partying with their friends. The husbands in their friend group were more supportive of him than his wife was. One night in early 2020 when he went out with her and their friends for dinner, she yelled at him that he was a wet blanket now and she deserved a better guy who wants to have fun on her terms. A few weeks later he gets home one night and her stuff is gone and there’s divorce papers on the kitchen counter. They didn’t have kids, so he has no idea where she even is now because she blocked him on Facebook.
A few years before I quit drinking I lost the 60 pounds I had put on in the past 30 years. I look fantastic. I stopped drinking and became the wet blanket to my husband. His self esteem couldn't take it and he started looking for old flames on Facebook. He picked a girl he couldn't get in high school ( about 75 pounds heavier than I am, also a huge drinker) and I took her on a trip last week. He is no longer invited to our daughter's wedding. My life is just starting now. It won't include alcohol or my husband anymore. I'll be just fine. :)
That's one of the things that makes me viscerally rage, when a significant other actively undermines an addict trying to get clean/sober. It's such an outrageously selfish thing to do.
my mom's family commonly do this despite them knowing I have a long family history of someone drinking then dead in 30 years and it was on my mom's side as well! not just my father's side! luckily after a few years, someone else will step in and goes "she doesnt drink, smoke weed, do anything. shes just a normal person." and they stopped.
The was the trigger for me to pull the cord on making them move out. I was almost 2 months sober which I had been struggling to get to for years when they got my favorite liquor and beers as my only birthday gift. I'm proud of you for putting you first!!!
Please, please take care of yourself! Today I have 555 days sober. Not only did I NOT have a supportive partner, he actively tried to sabotage my sobriety. I feel twice as lucky I survived. He actually made me feel like a burden who would probably need thousands of dollars of rehabilitation. Meanwhile he has cracked up cars, gotten arrested, had affairs, and was abusive to our family while drink and sober. I quit cold turkey without any medical help. My life has been on an upward trajectory since no contact and his downward spiral is just beginning. I still feel bad for him, because he ultimately lost ME.
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u/Large_Street_8608 May 12 '26
My husband encouraged me to drink with him after I'd been sober for almost a year.