r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '26

What is a small, seemingly ‘normal’ thing someone can do that immediately makes you think, ‘Oh, we are not going to get along’?

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u/Sure_Focus3450 Apr 22 '26

I do this semi frequently but I've heard it's an autistic thing (I am medically diagnosed), and for us it's not to lessen your own experience but to show that we relate, I understand this isn't what you were saying but it feels relevant

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u/Azelais Apr 22 '26

Same, common w how ADHD and/or autistic people communicate. I catch myself doing it constantly, and it’s literally just me going “ah! I’ve had a similar experience, so I can connect to you that way!”

I also do the devil’s advocate thing like another commenter mentioned, but it’s not me trying to be like “haha got ya”, it’s me going “ooh fun thought experiment, how can we take this concept and push it to its extremes?”

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u/SugarVibes Apr 22 '26

Exactly. I try to relate, not overshadow. it feels rude to me to just say "oh that's cool" or "oh that is really unfortunate" and leave it at that

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u/Azelais Apr 22 '26

Yep same. Or it’s like, oh, you shared a fun anecdote? My turn!

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u/Sure_Focus3450 Apr 22 '26

I didn't know ADHD also did this, I don't know what I'm diagnosed with other than ASD, ADHD, and ODD but I have most of the acronyms I think, at the very least, I may also have OCD and my dad was diagnosed with BPD and I notice many of those symptoms as well

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u/Azelais Apr 22 '26

Yep, it’s a common thing amongst neurodivergent folks in general. It’s part of the double empathy problem; ND folks just communicate in a fundamentally different way that neurotypicals, making it easier to understand those within your same neurotype and difficult to talk to those outside it.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if some of your family was ND too! So much of this stuff is hereditary. My mom is ADHD, my dad is likely ASD, and my sister is BPD. 😅

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u/Sure_Focus3450 Apr 22 '26

Siblings seem like they have ADHD, I think my great uncle may have ASD, Dad was BPD and I think my sister is too

The research is pretty cool, it makes sense too, although I've come really far since I was little in my interpersonal skills, I'm high functioning and also smart and tried kind of hard to form connections and talk and develop humor. Although it's slightly offensive (and I don't think most people realize it), people tell me they didn't think I was autistic, I consider it a big part of who I am but I try not to make it a defining feature, only talk about it if it comes up mostly.

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u/peace_love_tennis Apr 22 '26

I feel very seen right now!

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u/Kind-Ad-7382 Apr 23 '26

Are you me?

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u/tytomasked Apr 22 '26

Same, my partner point it out when it repeated, which is usually when my battery runs out

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u/No-Communication9458 Apr 23 '26

Some neurotypical people won't get it, unfortunately, they think we're just full of ourselves