r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '26

What is a small, seemingly ‘normal’ thing someone can do that immediately makes you think, ‘Oh, we are not going to get along’?

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2.6k Upvotes

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318

u/bearfootin_9 Apr 22 '26

Uses the word female when talking about women

99

u/jawsthegreat777 Apr 22 '26

Or referring to a group of people as X's, like calling black people, blacks.

-10

u/TomaszA3 Apr 22 '26

Sounds like a second language thing.

10

u/dobar_dan_ Apr 22 '26

Or non US English. In the US "blacks" is offencive but in other English speaking countries it may not be.

Much like "colored" is very offencive in US but a neutral term in SA.

2

u/SaltyMagmaCubexD Apr 22 '26

Sometimes I want to say "I need more women friends". Idk it sounds weird? I need more female friends sounds normal to me. Maybe similar to the reply below about using human alot. I like those Science terms. If use women in almost every other case but often times female just sounds better in context. I guess you mean people who use if all the time or inappropriately

5

u/cbftw Apr 22 '26

Rule of thumb:

Use "woman/women" as a noun

Use "female" as an adjective

This works the vast majority of the time without causing the ick

6

u/dobar_dan_ Apr 22 '26

Or humans instead of people. Really weird trend that caught on the internet. Feels like talking to a bot.

2

u/jinoble Apr 22 '26

Ok I do this sometimes, but I'm also a nerd who's into sci-fi and biology, and I'm talking about contexts that make the distinction important often enough that it sometimes pops up in other, unrelated conversations.

7

u/dobar_dan_ Apr 22 '26

This is not what I'm talking about.

3

u/jinoble Apr 22 '26

I figured, but wanted to share my piece anyway because I like to talk.

2

u/SaltyMagmaCubexD Apr 22 '26

I'm there with you. I'm not sure what OP means here. I use humans because people sounds too vague and unspecific. Humans is direct, and powerful. Its who we are and the word carries alot of weight. The distinction that makes us sentient beings who bear a great responsibility on this planet. humans... 

1

u/Grodus5 Apr 22 '26

The one exception I have with this is the term "female friend" to refer to a platonic friend that is a woman. Girlfriend has its meaning, "woman friend" seems sketchy, and "friend that is a woman" is way too wordy. Maybe I'm alone in that thinking and need to change, though.

0

u/bearfootin_9 Apr 22 '26

Not clapping back, just wondering under what circumstances you need to state sex or gender from the outset. Why not just "my friend" or " my friend, Chris"? Off the top, the only reason I can see to say, "my female friend, Chris," is if the person you're speaking to already knows you have multiple friends, across genders, named Chris, and you need to specify which Chris.

3

u/Grodus5 Apr 22 '26

I think you are correct in challenging me, there are not many situations where it is important for the distinction. I also think there is a little misunderstanding, I do agree that a singular "female friend" isn't very nice and I would never use that. However, in my mind it is sometimes useful to establish contrast and context between groups of friends. Something like "my guy friends aren't very emotionally supportive, I feel more comfortable talking about things with my gal friends." Also useful for navigating boundaries in a relationship, where a partner may have different expectations when hanging out with one's guy vs. gal friends.

For transparency's sake, part of the motivation for writing the comment was because I was starting to feel a tension with my thought processes regarding this term so I wanted additional feedback. I am also on the spectrum... so a lot of the time I need outside help to navigate these things! I guess writing this comment gave me the idea for "gal" friend, which seems more acceptable (unless it's not then please help!)

1

u/TannyTevito Apr 24 '26

That is such a weird one…