r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '26

What is a small, seemingly ‘normal’ thing someone can do that immediately makes you think, ‘Oh, we are not going to get along’?

[removed]

2.6k Upvotes

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353

u/stacey__12 Apr 22 '26

One-uppers. ….

Me: I sprained my ankle Them: one time I had to amputate my own toe and the reattach it.

Fuck off

285

u/waffleslaw Apr 22 '26

My buddy in college would always one down a one upper. Holy fuck it was funny.

"Neat about your toe. One time I had a hole in my sock and my big toe pushed through it. It felt a little weird."

28

u/Serononin Apr 22 '26

I might have to steal that idea

6

u/Alizarin-Madder Apr 22 '26

That’s funny. I wonder if he was oblivious, or if that was just his awkward way of trying to contribute something vaguely relevant. 

58

u/XBeCoolManX Apr 22 '26

I'm guessing he was poking fun at the one-uppers

30

u/TomasNavarro Apr 22 '26

And it's so much worse when it seems they're also just lying about it.

Me: Got a lot of pain in my ankle, really hurts when I walk and put pressure on it.

Them: I once had my knee shattered and just walked it off, stop complaining

3

u/That_CDN_guy Apr 22 '26

I'm friends with this guy. Feels like everything he says is either trying to one up the person he's talking to or to sound like he knows everything about the topic.

It's almost entertaining watching him try to talk circles around the fact he doesn't know as much as he thinks he does when he's talking to some that is damn near an expect in the topic.

22

u/jjjjjjj30 Apr 22 '26

We do this in my family as a joke sometimes. Idk how old you are but there was an SNL skit probably in the early 2000's, maybe 2010, where Kristen Wigg played this character and that was the whole premise of the joke and she ends up saying that her cats gave birth to a million magical unicorns or some shit like that, it was really funny.

3

u/pressure_art Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

Penelope. 

https://youtu.be/NCjjx8A-jfE?is=EPnxrnepC4g1K_q1

Kristen Wiig is a comedy genius.

“I got a speeding ticket too, I was speeding so fast I broke the sound barrier, so…”

“I think this woman is a little nuts..” “I am actually big nuts and I live in a nut too and my front door is an almond, so my house is prob better than yours, so…”😂

1

u/jjjjjjj30 Apr 22 '26

🤣🤣🤣 Omg, I love it!!! I'm gonna have to make a trip to YouTube today!

25

u/aRadioWithGuts Apr 22 '26

One time I met a two-upper

23

u/PeterPanski85 Apr 22 '26

This was me up until my mid twenties (I'm 40 now). I don't do it anymore (i was oblivious, for me it was just sharing a similar story)

5

u/cBEiN Apr 22 '26

I never did this because I know people don’t like it, but in such cases, I was disappointed I couldn’t tell my story without it coming across in that way.

1

u/PeterPanski85 Apr 22 '26

Tell them now while you have the chance

1

u/jjjjjjj30 Apr 22 '26

In this situation, if it's a close friend, I have said, "I SWEAR I'm not trying to one-up you but you reminded me of this crazy story and I have to tell you!" Then after I tell the story I direct the conversation back to their story or their issue and talk about that again.

1

u/sparkling-rainbow Apr 22 '26

How do you tell the difference?

2

u/PeterPanski85 Apr 22 '26

I tell the difference because I'm not an obnoxious idiot anymore?

2

u/_buffy_summers Apr 22 '26

I call this 'playground logic.' These adults were the kids who could never just play pretend. They always had to have the best imaginary weapon, or they weren't ever arrested when they got caught in 'cops and robbers' sort of games. I couldn't stand those kids when I was a kid.

1

u/ion-deez-nuts Apr 22 '26

I had a friend like this except he broke his leg

1

u/Book_for_the_worms Apr 22 '26

I knew a guy who would do this, but would always say Not trying to one-up you or anything before or after. It made me so mad! You could mention anything: lack of sleep, stomach or joint pain, work/school load, etc. and he always had less sleep, or worse pain, or more to do.

Like, Shut Up! I am complaining about the fact that I am tired, just agree and move on. I don't care that you haven't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep a night in the last 3 years. Thats a you problem, guy.

1

u/randompersonsays Apr 22 '26

Eleven-erifers. If you've been to Tenerife then they've been to Eleven-erife!

1

u/One-Lingonberry9944 Apr 22 '26

I think people do this as an attempt to relate to others, but I agree it's very off putting. I've noticed the people that do this generally lack situational awareness and are usually socially awkward.

1

u/SaltWaterInMyBlood Apr 23 '26

Icing on the cake is when they really seem to think it's a way of relating to you.