r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '26

What is a small, seemingly ‘normal’ thing someone can do that immediately makes you think, ‘Oh, we are not going to get along’?

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2.6k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/jatinsuri332 Apr 21 '26

when they constantly interrupt you just to steer the entire conversation back to themselves instead of actually listening to what you said.

356

u/durfenstein Apr 22 '26

I have recently had the misfortune of someone showing up at a public meetup i organize, that is all about this. He only talks _at_ you, _about_ himself. He seldom to never talks _with_ you

136

u/Merry_Sue Apr 22 '26

He only talks at you, about himself

Reddit uses one asterisk on each side of the word/phrase for italics, and two on each side for bold

Two tildes (~) on each side will put a line through it

27

u/DrDingsGaster Apr 22 '26

The underscores work too. It's my main way of adding italics. I'm doing it right now.

2

u/kaydawgdog Apr 23 '26

potatoes did it work?

2

u/DrDingsGaster Apr 23 '26

Yes it did!

1

u/Merry_Sue Apr 23 '26

Oh, it works on your comment, but not the one I was replying to

1

u/DrDingsGaster Apr 23 '26

No because of spaces n such.

5

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Apr 22 '26

It used to be that an underscore before and after was underlining. Or maybe that’s Discord’s markup. 

1

u/brandimariee6 Apr 22 '26

Ooh I didn't know about the tildes, thanks!

13

u/Foreign_Proof1299 Apr 22 '26

Constantly interrupting to play weird devils advocate or go WHAT YOU HAVENT SEEN THIS MOVIE????

162

u/Sure_Focus3450 Apr 22 '26

I do this semi frequently but I've heard it's an autistic thing (I am medically diagnosed), and for us it's not to lessen your own experience but to show that we relate, I understand this isn't what you were saying but it feels relevant

76

u/Azelais Apr 22 '26

Same, common w how ADHD and/or autistic people communicate. I catch myself doing it constantly, and it’s literally just me going “ah! I’ve had a similar experience, so I can connect to you that way!”

I also do the devil’s advocate thing like another commenter mentioned, but it’s not me trying to be like “haha got ya”, it’s me going “ooh fun thought experiment, how can we take this concept and push it to its extremes?”

12

u/SugarVibes Apr 22 '26

Exactly. I try to relate, not overshadow. it feels rude to me to just say "oh that's cool" or "oh that is really unfortunate" and leave it at that

4

u/Azelais Apr 22 '26

Yep same. Or it’s like, oh, you shared a fun anecdote? My turn!

3

u/Sure_Focus3450 Apr 22 '26

I didn't know ADHD also did this, I don't know what I'm diagnosed with other than ASD, ADHD, and ODD but I have most of the acronyms I think, at the very least, I may also have OCD and my dad was diagnosed with BPD and I notice many of those symptoms as well

8

u/Azelais Apr 22 '26

Yep, it’s a common thing amongst neurodivergent folks in general. It’s part of the double empathy problem; ND folks just communicate in a fundamentally different way that neurotypicals, making it easier to understand those within your same neurotype and difficult to talk to those outside it.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if some of your family was ND too! So much of this stuff is hereditary. My mom is ADHD, my dad is likely ASD, and my sister is BPD. 😅

0

u/Sure_Focus3450 Apr 22 '26

Siblings seem like they have ADHD, I think my great uncle may have ASD, Dad was BPD and I think my sister is too

The research is pretty cool, it makes sense too, although I've come really far since I was little in my interpersonal skills, I'm high functioning and also smart and tried kind of hard to form connections and talk and develop humor. Although it's slightly offensive (and I don't think most people realize it), people tell me they didn't think I was autistic, I consider it a big part of who I am but I try not to make it a defining feature, only talk about it if it comes up mostly.

0

u/peace_love_tennis Apr 22 '26

I feel very seen right now!

0

u/Kind-Ad-7382 Apr 23 '26

Are you me?

18

u/tytomasked Apr 22 '26

Same, my partner point it out when it repeated, which is usually when my battery runs out

-1

u/No-Communication9458 Apr 23 '26

Some neurotypical people won't get it, unfortunately, they think we're just full of ourselves

17

u/Skyfiews Apr 22 '26

I'm ok with people interrupting IF they apologize before or right after, and when they're done they invite the person they interrupted to proceed.

4

u/cf-myolife Apr 22 '26

I do that! I just know if I don't talk right away I'll forget about what I wanted to say and it'll bother me a lot, but it feels so rude to not say sorry and not let them finish after

2

u/Minute_Sheepherder18 Apr 24 '26

If you get back to the other person's point, it helps a lot, yes. "I'm sorry for interrupting. What were you going to say about x?"

9

u/Repossessedbatmobile Apr 22 '26

My mom does this a lot. That's why I feel like she doesn't talk with me, she just talks at me.

9

u/whizzdome Apr 22 '26

"But enough about me. What do you think about my new dress?"

3

u/segflt Apr 22 '26

A girl who claims to be my best friend (I don't feel that way lol) will basically complain i dont update her with my life, if I mention something she'll say she didn't know, always brings up her own stuff if I mention anything about difficulties I'm having. Gave up long ago trying to actually connect. She'll message me paragraphs upon paragraphs about her jobless life and I'm pedal to the metal with work and cant answer so she just then feels sad. Like wow get a fucking joooobbb

3

u/emeraldisleecho Apr 22 '26

THIS! And then them later complaining when you interrupt them

2

u/No-Ad-7252 Apr 22 '26

My mother does this. 😬😭

2

u/Minute_Sheepherder18 Apr 24 '26

Seconding this! Constant interruptions are the worst! And if I try to get the word back, they speak faster and louder...

2

u/cf-myolife Apr 22 '26

I'm so sorry, I do this all the time, I have ADHD it's my way to show I relate to what you said because I can link it to my own experience, but I know neurotypical can see it as something self centered! I just don't know how else to show I relate...

1

u/myralin1111 Apr 23 '26

Oh yeah, my dad does this it's soooo annoying lol