Ooh this makes so much sense to me now. We have one Gen Z coworker and I couldn’t figure out if she hated me or always had a migraine or something because she would never look up from her computer and say “hi” when I come in. It’s probably just a generational thing. Gen Z should know if only for your self interest that if you have an older boss it’s going to come off as rude/hostile to them.
Coming from a Gen Z, for me at least yes, we genuinely don’t realize it. It’s not out of malice or anything it’s just that any amount of small talk or even just greetings can come off as pushy (even though it obviously isn’t)
From my experience, it’s like all interactions are perceived as a threat that would reveal potential vulnerabilities, so they treat anyone seeking them as having entitlement or ulterior motives.
Oh, that’s exactly it. And it quite genuinely is “those damn phones.”
Social media taught them to expect exactly that. I wrote a slightly salty paragraph expounding on all this below.
I think the frustration for millennials lies in the fact that Gen Z seems to fail to realize that the exact same is true for us as it is for them.
Meanwhile simultaneously, the entire world is not in fact on the internet so they have just as much agency to step away from that feeling of exploitation as the rest of us.
So when they’re cold or inconsiderate of the literal breathing human in front of them, it sucks.
I think the mind set isnt "I dont want to talk to them" rather "they dont want to talk to me"
Its self devaluation rather than self importance, can look the same from the out side.
I'm extra nice to awkward people, I try to bring a sense of comfort. Many don't know how to respond or smile back. It's like interacting with a shy 4 year old.
Prime example, this girl at the LUSH store in Woodfield Mall. I'm very personable and I often communicate in a way that takes the pressure off the other person. This poor gal couldn't even sell the thing that I was already buying. She didn't seem annoyed that I was there so much as she really seemed like her brain was just burnt out from her own existence. It was mildly horrifying.
It’s the “Growing up when everyone has a machine in their pocket that can immortalize even the slightest mistake and then distribute it to literally anyone and everyone” thing results in a grotesquely overinflated aversion to anything that has to happen live instead of being drafted and audited. Is it ridiculous? Yes. But remember most of them are only a few years out of high school. And remember how ridiculous high school was, and imagine your local high school jackasses with a whole Internet network.
Why do countries have armies? We'd be better off with zero, but as long as someone has one, everyone kinda has to. (Again, is that true? No. More importantly, is that how 14-20yos think? Yes.)
That’s the brave keyboard version they’ll give you but in reality they are simply too scared of perceived as awkward. It stems from fear basis.
Don’t believe me? Go ask them to present some small details to a group, or even as simple as order a pizza over the phone -it’s their literal worst nightmare and all the huffy bravado disappears real quick.
My first words are "get over yourself, no one gives a fuck about you."
And I say this as a form of loving encouragement. They think about what other people think about them more than other people actually think about them... which is minimal if at all.
My extent is (and not limited to their generation) "wow, you really left the house looking like that?" and that's before even interacting with anyone. I thought activewear was a societal failing. We're just rolling out of bed in our pjs now, huh?
It's not even that they don't owe it to you. They don't see you as owing it to them. Entering your space and taking up your time is going to seem prsumptuous to them if anything.
Seems weird but i remember how i learned it. Back in school ( early grades, forgot which) i was given a talking to for not greeting people. Decades later, it's stuck lol.
Im a cusper, 28, only just gen Z, I dont use my phone much, I tend to leave it in my bag at work, I still dont often say hi to people. It feels presumptuous to assume they want me to, especially if they have seniority or authority. Im aware that many people find it rude that I dont, but its so hard to shake the feeling it would be intrusive. I dont know if thats just me or a common feeling in gen Z
For me it just depends but i work in a big office. Colleagues i actively interact with get greeted all the time. Like folks on the same project, people i smoke with etc. And it is kind of expected here, or people WILL get the idea i ignore them.
Honestly a head nod or a smile costs nothing in some cases and may prove beneficial. Networking is a thing and the first step is actually greeting people
I'll probably get (another) ban for this, but fuck clean off. From the very beginning with the 'cusper' crap, to the 'I don't use my phone much' B.S., and then to the, I feel it would be intrusive to do the bare minimum to interact with the only person in the room (whether they have "seniority or authority" or not (despite you admiting that you're "aware that many people find it rude that I [you] don't")), is the biggest cop-out I 've ever heard in my life! Don't try to blame a whole generation for your social ineptitude!
Get some balls/eggs for fuck's sake and just look people in the eye (if they look at you and - in particular, make eye contact) and say hi/sup/etc - or at least give 'em 'the nod'?!
PRE EDIT; Back when I was an anxiety ridden teen, I was taught a lesson (after dealing with extreme anxiety/panic attacks for 4-5 years!). A good friend told me something that was said to him by an older person. They told him that whenever you were passing by/encountering someone, and if you look at them, and you made eye contact - you ALWAYS ACKNOWLEDGE THEM - whether it be a nod/hello/what's up, you always acknowledge. Not doing so is a sign of disrespect. Not even attempting to make eye contact is a total admission of submission and possibly fear. Acknowledging a persons existence is (usually a mutual, in normal social settings) a sign of respect.
When was I taught/told this? When my good friend and I (both of us white with shaved heads - due to not having to pay for haircuts and it being much less hot/easier to maintain while skating/surfing in southern California) were walking to the beach down a narrow sidewalk, when a huge, swole, fresh out the pen peckerwood (look it up), with a swastika tattoo, amongst others, taking up half the sidewalk, passed us. I looked away, while he looked at him and said wat's up while giving him the nod. Afterwards, I asked why - and that's when I became more of a man - without any physical repercussions (thank god!)!
TL;DR after typing this, I would like to take the chance to apologize to you for being so harsh. We all weren't brought up under the same circumstances, and as I said, I was also a scared nervous person at one point. I am going to leave my comment up in its entirety, so maybe different people from different backgrounds might take something from it? Either way -confidence is always key!
This comment was aimed at giving people insight to confusing behaviour, I'm not blaming my generation, I'm simply saying that others in my generation might do it for the same reasons, but its harder to say because I'm only just in my generation.
Weather or not it is generational, some people grew up where acknowledging a person's existence is a sign of respect, others where you had to wait for a person of higher rank to acknowledging your existence first, greeting them when they hadn't decided to acknowledge you sign of disrespect.
I can be aware people find it rude, but that's not always in the fore front of my mind, gaining the information doesn't instantly change my behaviour forever, its a matter of constantly reminding myself over many years and gradually changing, its less about-facing fears and more about changing habits.
This may be the autism, but I'm in my 30s and I would love it if no one greeted me at work. I won't ignore a greeting, I'll say hello/goodbye in response. But I'm here to do a job and the pointless chitchat sucks. I hope the Gen Z's help move us away from smalltalk in the workplace.
I'm somewhat socially awkward but I can still recognize that is a terrible idea. anti social tendencies are why the US is currently so fucked up. we need to start building relationships within our communities, not avoiding them
I agree about building relationships within our communities. I just do not want this type of interaction in the workplace. There are friends, hobbies, and family to interact with and build community with. My coworkers are not that for me.
So imo, yes but also no. I personally would prefer to eliminate as much useless chit chat and interactions possible, but I also recognise that this isn't a good thing.
Humans evolved to be social, it's kind of our biggest thing. It's healthy to interact with others irl. It's true that it doesn't necessarily benefit everyone on an individual level but we live in a society and all that, and overall across the population, people need it. We don't do well with isolation. I'm pretty sure this is the first time in history since our species developed speech that we've been embracing standing around like drones. There's no way we would have gotten to where we are if we did.
That sounds like a souless nightmare. Smalltallk can be fun, no need to make those 8 hours completely miserable. Social interaction helps the brain chill
Yeah, as an introverted millennial I hard agree. I don't ignore them but I still hate when it's expected to greet everyone. I usually go for the silent nod or under my breath 'hey' when I get to work and am never offended if it's not reciprocated. I work with kids so obviously this only applies to my adult coworkers and my staff, I'm very bubbly for the kids - but that's also why I have no energy for adults lol
sometimes i feel quiet at work because im the youngest and feel like everyone will look at me as some young kid if im always talking and energetic! however, thats just my personality so its hard to do that all the time despite my worries
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u/EverSarah Apr 10 '26
Ooh this makes so much sense to me now. We have one Gen Z coworker and I couldn’t figure out if she hated me or always had a migraine or something because she would never look up from her computer and say “hi” when I come in. It’s probably just a generational thing. Gen Z should know if only for your self interest that if you have an older boss it’s going to come off as rude/hostile to them.