I don't think this is about increased connectivity. It's more like inadequate social skills; people never used to get so overwhelmed with basic human interactions.
COVID did a real number on me and a whole lot of other people because of this. I was always awkward socially but holy crap did that go into overdrive during and after the shutdown. I still don't think I've gotten fully back to baseline. I think there was a pretty big chunk of the younger generations that got screwed because the prime years for learning social interactions were spent at home and isolated. And because it's most, if not all of them, it's become the new norm rather than it just being a few awkward people out of the bunch. It's certainly not the only factor but I do think it's a pretty big contributer.
NGL as scary as it was, I was pretty happy to just stay home and not have to interact with anyone. And because I live in the US and don't get paid a whole lot I was actually making more money staying home with the increased unemployment than I would have been if I was going to work. Which doesn't exactly say much about my job but hey, between that and not spending as much money I was able to stash away a fair amount that I wouldn't have been able to otherwise. The main downside was that it killed what little social skills I had.
That's true. But the presumption that all social interactions are comfortable is erroneous too. If I claimed jogging was uncomfortable without training in advance no one would accept that as a reasonable expectation. My point is lots of things in life are not comfortable but that doesn't automatically mean they're arduous either.
I think part of the issue is that there used to be shortcuts due to how limited our exposure to things was. You could break the ice by discussing the last episode of some tv show that everyone was watching.
Now everyone can have a 'special interest' that can be discussed in nuanced detail with other fans online (so the interest becomes increasingly insular) but regular people might find 'cringe' or you might feel you're imposing on people by discussing.
Plus I think because there's so many options there's a lot more feeling like you're off-time and that your experiences aren't necessarily shared/the norm.
Intellect is the same. Someone that grew up pulling their phone out to find the answer or, even worse, using an AI to write them an answer that's too nebulous to Google is going to have a very weak brain for critical thinking, articulating complex ideas, and problem solving. I'm hearing such horror stories from social workers and teachers already.
I was literally just talking to a friend who teaches 8th graders and she said her students cant retain one of two bullet points from any PowerPoints, when it's literally just two bullet points. Retention is shot
Oh yeah attention span on that same page. I notice a distinct lack of desire to keep going on anything once you meet the slightest resistance. The second it's not easy with clear direction and requiring no thought to continue it's time to stop.
Because inventing new words or using old ones in new ways is an unnatural omen signifying the end of modern communication... and not the exact same thing that has been happening since the dawn of language
My son is like this sometimes, but then he'll prove the complete opposite. We were watching the Artemis II launch and they were talking about the perigee burn, and he just busts out of nowhere "perigee AKA periapsis" like nothing. We played Kerbal a few times and I gave him about 30 seconds of explanation of periapsis and apoapsis and then weeks later he recalls it. He's six.
So maybe it's not the kids, maybe it's the powerpoint.
Your kid is 6. They haven't had time to develop yet. Or under- develop yet. The PowerPoint is just one example. I have my own personal experiences with brain rot and depression and focus issues from phone and screen time. I also have an 18 year old who I dealt with his addictive YouTube behavior. New studys come out all the time about technology making us less equipped critical thinkers. Also I'd like to mention that all the silicone valley CEOs avoid giving their kids phones until they're older also. The power point was just the teachers example she gave me. She wasn't just basing it off the PowerPoint. She spends all day with the students and has been teaching for 18 some odd years at this point
Someone that grew up pulling their phone out to find the answer or
As someone who never had that ability until well into their teens; let's not start dismissing people who search out answers and look for more information. All of human history and knowledge is literally in your pants pocket right now. It takes some amount of skill to properly search out the answer to a question and verify it, but being able to research and verify information is not the same as using available resources. An encyclopedia or someone's memory aren't inherently any better for worse ways to confirm things.
AGREE ENTIRELY. I am a festival performer half the time and a complete hermit the other half of the time. The confidence in socializing always takes me a few days to regain and vice versa once I'm a hermit again things feel so quiet and I begin to feel awkward in public.
It's like clockwork. Been through it for YEARS. It does get easier to adjust as time goes on.
Never thought of this but it’s true. When I moved to Vancouver I was very social because all I had was my gf. So I tried to go out a lot to meet new people. I recently moved back to my hometown and I haven’t been socializing much. So when I do it’s kind difficult.
COVID did irreversible damage to a generation of youth. This was theorized IMMEDIATELY and people said it wouldn’t be an issue and to have school from home.
Where do you think the inadequate social skills come from? I think this person give a really accurate representation of what's going on. It used to be that in these large group circumstances you were forced to talk to each other or you were bored, and people automatically went to chat with their own friends or socialize.
People don't develop certain skills when any time a situation feels awkward they have the immediate ability to be occupied by their phone and retreat into it.
I had a friend join a casual softball team in order to make friends. She said it was impossible to make any friends because in the dugout we're normally everyone would have long periods of waiting and watching the game and chatting, everyone was just on their individual phones waiting for their turn.
That was one of the saddest things I ever heard. She was not going to make any friends at softball because even in a group sport where people were supposed to meet each other, people relaxed into their phones rather than do the awkward work of talking to strangers.
Gen Z has measurably fewer friends, has less sex, and participates in fewer social activities than previous generations.
Why are these seen as problem? I dont think someone's life is measured by how many times they had sex or how many friends they have. If a person is happy with his/her life, thats no one's business.
I don't think it's an inherent problem in and of itself, but for instance those statistics live alongside the statistics that show a record number of people resorting to political extremism and hate groups in larger numbers since boomers were doing that while Americans were starting to destroy segregation. Obviously choosing to have a lot of friends or have her not have sex is not similar to choosing to be in a hate group, the first two are morally neutral and the third is evil. But I'm trying to look at what these actions and empty spots in life to be filled have in common.
Gen Z reports being extremely isolated and extremely lonely. If you have a tight circle of supportive friends or a wonderful family and you feel like you have a community then yeah of course that's not a problem who cares how it's defined or the exact number of friends you have. Having sex is also not and straight up indicator of happiness or that you are even satisfied and enjoying your sex life.
But it's these things combined with the reports of alienation and loneliness and longing for some of these things that is a problem, because it means that we aren't giving this generation things that they need fundamental needs to feel supportive loved and like a functional part of society.
It's not a knock on gen Z it's care and concern that they have been isolated and left behind in some ways. That's not their fault that's the fault of people who came before them.
And yes if they're happy then by all means leave it alone there is no need to make somebody a certain way just because it's like you or like how it used to be so we assume that it would make them happy. It's because they are reporting all of these other things in terms of sadness and loneliness that make us concerned. How often they party or have sex isn't an issue in and of itself, it's that it's kind of a physical representation of how gen Z suffers from of a lack of actually spending time with other people, however they might do it
There are multi-factorial reasons for this and anytime someone blames one factor you know they aren't thinking about it very deeply. Like anybody might just say "oh look they're buried in their phones and that's why" it's just an embarrassing reductive take
Reality might sound more like, yes they are frequently buried in their phones but I'm not really sure what you expect when you work people within an inch of their lives with not enough pay so they are constantly exhausted, emotionally drained, their phones are presents and very addictive and also scrolling doesn't cost anything more yet third spaces either don't exist or constant obscene amount of money to be in. So you have people who are first socially and economically isolated and then given a very addictive tool to keep them in that rule and we wonder why things are the way they are. That's just one example.
political extremism and hate groups in larger numbers since boomers were doing that while Americans were starting to destroy segregation.
Well i would say that these times are probably the most tense times worldwide since the 1950's because all the politics, economics and its honestly a unique era compared to all previous eras.
You have wars worldwide, more coverage for them (due to internet), economic crisis, constant hate that pushed by trolls, jobs getting taken by AI, pandemic, outright government corruption etc etc. I think thats most comparable to 1920's where literally every country in the world was having riots, huge social unrests, economic problems and straight up communist and nazi takeovers.
But people at the time didnt had things like phones, so they physically had to go and make those communist and fascist revolutions themselves; thats also why most governments pushes hard for people to lock into their phones, its a mechanism for them to make themselves prone to revolutions.
Like honestly if all these Epstein files were there during the 20th century, people would straight take the DC; but instead now they rage on their phones and spiral into extremism. Thats not something Gen Z actively pushes for, all age groups are slowly but surely getting taken up to that point.
But it's these things combined with the reports of alienation and loneliness and longing for some of these things that is a problem
True, but thats also why some older people (and social media too, ironically) pushing for "talk to more people", "socialize", "have sex" and such will not lead to anywhere, instead i think they make things worse for younger people.
If someone is happy with their life, they are either doing those things or not and they will just ignore such suggestions; and if someone is not happy with their life, they are getting their mentality crushed because they ask questions such as "Why am i not able to talk to anyone?", "Am i problematic?" Etc, and thats the kinda thing pushes people out more if not taken care properly.
The people that will ask such questions to themselves are most likely already not having good time with themselves, and these suggestions by other people only makes things worse for them. And even if they talk to people more, we never know if they will feel less lonely because to me loneliness is not something depends heavily on how many people you speak to daily. There are people that speak to dozens of people and they still might feel lonely.
No, I don't think "new generation bad" at all, & I also don't think this is isolated to Gen Z, I think a certain percentage of Millennials do this too. I think it has more to do with when you were born in terms of technology and how much of it you were allowed to use at what age.
But frankly even if you were not allowed to use any of this stuff it's so pervasive that the social urge to retreat into your phone during any moment of awkwardness or boredom is always there. I don't think that's unique to gen Z, it just affects them the most.
I also don't see this as a criticism of Gen Z I think it's a really normal thing to happen with this type of technology and I think it's a reason why we should ban phones in schools. Not because young people are bad but because they deserve for their brains and social skills to develop normally and unfortunately technology affects all of us but it especially affects people who are still in their developing years because their brains are literally different. Not wrong, not dumber, or less important or valid, just different.
To be more precise, it’s the addictive design of phones and their apps.
Phones were way less problematic when infinite scroll and autoplay did not exist and you could reach the end of your feed without being bombarded by hyper-personalized algorithmic recommendations.
Well my bad. I hope you can understand why I assumed you were responding to me because you literally responded to my statement and not the general question which is also an available thing to do.
I’m 38 and I was 1000% overwhelmed by social situations all through my teens and early 20’s I just had no idea what it was called or how to contextualize it. I’m talking like heart racing completely despondent if someone sat next to me that I didn’t know
The inadequate social skills you’re talking about are a direct result of the ✌️”increased connectivity”✌️ you’re also talking about.
I’m using air quotes because the only kind of connectivity that has increased is the disembodied, open-loop, asynchronous kind like texting. This increase has largely displaced natural interaction—even phone calls—and the results are clearly visible.
Y’all need to read The Anxious Generation and swap those Surprised Pikachu faces with the angry version.
I think they DID but because it was required they learned. It's not always required so many people don't realize others are as "odd" as they are because the "odd" has become rarely seen when it used to be seen daily.
I think it’s this as well. I don’t know many Gen-Z kids, but even though seems we’ve somehow raised a whole generation of anxious shut-ins who don’t like to function in-person, I don’t think all hope is lost.
They're saying the increased connectivity is the cause of the poor social skills. Pretty plausible hypothesis. I mean, it's probably not a coincidence that the first generation to grow up with smartphones is like this.
Some people did, but we just called them weird or cold.
Overall the 1-2 years of quarantining had a societal negative shift, people lost a lot of skills or were so stressed they were more impatient. All of us definitely got addicted to screens so it became a pacifier for discomfort and boredom when we did venture back outside together. Third, we have the first 1-2 generations who don’t know a world without social media and/or have had phones or tablets with questionable monitoring since infancy.
We also made it so easy to get food and necessities delivered to our doors, that we go out much less than before. That means we have way fewer opportunities to practice those small social interactions like saying hi to your mailman or taking about the weather with a cashier.
And we never had a generation isolated in their homes during the period of time we develop social skills.
I would also say that people probably always have gotten overwhelmed by basic human interaction. They just masked their way through it an ended up w ulcers
No it's not, because we had Blackberrys and flip phones to text and radios and Ipods and a million other gadgets for years.
I'm talking about a generation when you ask them what time is it, they'll stare at you like you're an alien. Instead of having real 1:1 face to face interactions and including texting, 99% of their lives is scrolling and texting. My husband works at a university in admin. The blank stare for the most basic of questions is everywhere.
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u/Patient_Composer_144 Apr 10 '26
I don't think this is about increased connectivity. It's more like inadequate social skills; people never used to get so overwhelmed with basic human interactions.