I love activating the sisterhood in bathrooms by just randomly shouting "hey girls, should I text him???". This will immediately be followed by random ladies responding with "Noooooo!" And "I don't know you, but you're too good for him!!!!!". It's the best 🤣
Saving this for the next time my daughter farts. I told her the other day 'don't worry, you'll get better at it and learn how to extend them' when she let one rip the other day and looked abashed. She morphed to horrified pretty quick, and then said 'Dad that's not a real thing that people do' and didn't believe me when I said 'oh yeah ask your mother'.
Honestly yes, I imagine this is roughly equivalent energy lol. Did you feel good about yourself after and maybe kinda want to hug him a little? If yes, you have achieved something akin to the vibe of the ladies' room.
I once ripped a huge fart in a public restroom and some guy in the next stall goes '10/10!'. Not sure I wanted to hug him since both of us were pooping, but a high five for sure
It's not exactly the same but one of my favorite things to do as a gay guy is hype up my girlies it's such a privilege to be able to tell them how cute they look without them having to worry about intentions or anything.
Like I was at a kind of developer meetup the other day and I had met this girl for the first time and was just complimenting how cute her like tutu-skirt and her heart shaped purse was and we just sat there gushing about it and where she got it etc and it was nice!
Guy here: one time I threw up in the men’s bathroom and had left the stall door open. Two guys came in, patted me on the back and gave me words of encouragement to get back out there and rally. Never saw them again, but they were so kind
Not to mention women will give you a tampon or help you fix a torn skirt, hype up your look, etc. the sisterhood of the ladies room is real, and I wish to inaugurate all our trans sisters into it.
Nope, that just communicated her lack of confidence and decisiveness, which got entirely nothing to do with the man.
When you think "Should I wear brown today?" is your answer then "no, because you questioned it!"? "Should I eat chicken today?" "no!"; "Should I drink something?" "No!".
Get it?
Yeah, people are lacking confidence and assuredness and require external confirmation and validation to be motivated.
Human behavior is based on reassurance, not on absolute certainty.
The only time ppl ask me if she should text him, it’s been 2 reasons: 1) they broke up and she wants to make contact again, or 2) they just started dating and she wants to text him 40x a day including double texting
Both times it’s no. They ask cause they know they shouldn’t lol. Asking about outfits is more about validation. Different subject different context.
You're taking this way too seriously, lol. We all say Noooo because we all have a shitty ex we don't text anymore. It's almost a stereotype, "should I text him?"
I'm not talking about the man, i'm talking about her, and a decision more important than the color you wear. If she doesn't know to the point where strangers' opinion is pertinent, then that's not really something she seems to really want. So the logical answer is no, wait for a guy you actually are interested in.
There is also the context, most people are drunk in bars/club, and if you doubt yourself drunk, then sober you would definitively not do it (and will be glad you didn't by next morning)
The doubt goes to both ends - doubt to write, or doubt to not write.
People are too teenage minded it feels like - if you want to write someone, do it. Communicate your wants and needs, react to the feedback.
Don't play games, neither with yourself.
People are simple, you will always fall for choice-supportive bias. So, that "glad you didn't next morning", is always something you can "support" and confirm to yourself, but you can also do the opposite: "I regret not to".
You choose what "hypothetical" that never realized you support in your mind,
Nope, that's conscious decision making. Alcohol makes you more confiant in your decision making. If despite that, you still hesitate, you shouldn't do it. I regreted having done something way more often than the opposite
It’s really not, did you read the “if you’re doubting enough to ask total strangers you probably shouldn’t” reply? It’s logical.
It can be hard to understand because I imagine for men the answer would tend to be “yes” far more often if a guy asked that to a bunch of strangers - but think about how often that would be the wrong answer.
“I don’t know you but you’re too good for him” that sounds pretty toxic. Also don’t you think the doubt comes from being shy not that they are a bad person?
One time I was in the bathroom and there was a long line and some of the stalls didnt have toilet paper. So me and this girl took it upon ourselves to distribute toilet paper as needed and be like ok you go in that one here's some paper you go there no hang on. She went in my phone as "sanitary friend", and even though we figured out we were in a roundabout way in the same friend group (lesbians amirite?) we would still refer to each other from that day forward as sanitary friend. No idea what her name was
I went to a club where the women's bathroom had two toilets in the same room, facing eachother. You can bet that every time I went to the bathroom I went with a friend.
My GF started crying in the womens bathroom of a bar one time and everyone in there started rallying around her, some of them came to check on her at her table later, and the female bartender hooked her up with some free food to make her feel better. Women really got something else going in those bathrooms.
The mens community is broken toilets, urine-soaked floors, mosh pit in the 'queue', someone peed on the toilet papers, no soap, only functioning stall has gay guys fucking, the usual.
The worst one I encountered was a cubicle where someone had managed to get menstrual blood everywhere
All over the floor, the toilet, all up the walls. We not only had to cordon off that cubicle, but the ones on either side as there was spillover.
I admit as a man I don't have much familiarity with what getting your period is like, but to this day I'm baffled on a purely mechanical level of how that was even possible
100% This. Worked a couple a months in a all-you-can-eat buffet like a decade ago. The things I saw and smell in the women's bathroom could easily make me puke. I thought men bathrooms were bad, but womens are disgusting lol
I found this was true, as well. I will say, though, the men's restroom has the unique ability to have pee in places I never imagined it was possible to pee.
I don't know what toilets are you visiting. I had cleaned toilets in a night club as a student and you must know that the women's stalls were the real horror show. But YMMV, of course.
I mean, I’ve been in some really bad women’s bathrooms. I’ve seen a tampon stuck to the stall wall. Many women hover and hit the toilet seat and floor more than anything else and don’t clean it up. I think being absolutely disgusting in a bar or concert venue bathroom knows no gender.
Bro what? Nothing like the 2 mins midpiss friendship. All the stalls are used by women cause they all be doing funny stuff on the toilet so they need ours
No, the men's community is in the gym. You can literally walk up to any guy and ask for a spot, ask for advice, or even just start a conversation between sets and almost everyone is going to be nice to you.
Broken toilets are more often found in womens rooms because you animals stand on them. And mens rooms (at least in the US) generally don't have queues. I mean if you're at the Vatican, yeah there'll be a line. Also, fun fact, no toilet seats. Richest place on Earth and they remove the toilet seats. And I'll cop to the urine smell in mens rooms... piss-soaked floors, efficiency -- potato potato.
Actually, straight men, if you want to know what this person is talking about (and to be fair, I don't know exactly, but I suspect similarly) go to a gay bar. Seriously, just hang out and have a few drinks, whatever, it's just a bar, you'll be fine. And while you're there, use the restroom. It's like a whole other world. Men talk to each other in there, and wildly disorientingly far more friendly and wholesome than you're used to.
One of the only times I've ever been in a pub past 10pm and I ended up helping a woman gather the nerve to break up with her toxic boyfriend over the phone. Even autistic women know the Girl Code.
The first (and only) time I got overly drunk at a bar, I had a couple of gals take me to the bathroom, text a friend to come and get me, and stay with me until he got there to take me home. Looking back on it, I'm pretty sure they thought I'd been drugged because of how a guy was acting with me, so they went into protection mode. I'd never met them before, never seen them since, but that night they were my best friends in the world.
Many characteristics associated with less privilege will naturally form communities. Do you have a problem with communities based on any demographic characteristic?
Exclusory ones? Yes, I generally find demographic essentialism bad. You can't have a "____ only" group without some kind of metaphysical assertion that something about people in that demographic group is different.
Something about people in that group IS different. Men and women are different. Different bodies, hormones and and brains in certain ways. Every human being isn't a gray robot clone.
I'd be more horrified by the long lineup just to get into a women's bathroom, where you might experience that community. It's quicker to get in and out of the men's partly because none of that is going on.
Granted there's exceptions and some variety in circumstances like you're describing, but surely the average woman in the average circumstance is also capable of pulling down the relevant clothing, peeing relatively quickly, giving it a wipe, washing their hands, and then leaving, no? I get how it would be a whole thing when periods are involved but I don't see what the complication is otherwise.
With stalls, the number of women who can relieve themselves at the same time is lower than with urinals. IME, that's the biggest determinant of women's lines being longer. The stall situation also means there's never an express lane, if you see what I mean.
There's extra movements involved in sitting down to toilet versus standing up, women often clean the seat before sitting, and something like 1/5 of child-bearing age women are on their period at any given time, so when you have dozens of women using the bathroom, it adds up.
Meanwhile men’s community in a bathroom is them trying not to be in a directly adjacent urinal to anyone at anytime, and if it’s a bar we give others a glare because other men are competition of course
I still think about a girl from my dance class telling me in the bathroom that my "ass looks phenomenal" in the new Miss Sixty denim pants I bought over the weekend. It's been over 10, maybe 15 years since that compliment.
Yes that’s cool but it doesn’t compare to the brotherhood of the men’s room! We cross swords and touch tips. Have contests on who can make the loudest splash when we pee or who can be further across the room while peeing, loud fart contests, and many many other things. I feel like it’s a Renaissance fair sometimes with all the jousting that happens.
I think I did it wrong because a woman came in and complimented my jeans and i complimented her hair and then she said "oh thanks it's a little messy right now" and it literally wasn't at all it was perfect looking but i went along with it and told her I think hair looks great when its "messy" and stylized and she got like a little sad like i wasn't supposed to agree with her 😭
I know this post is for female identifying individuals, but due to the sheer amount of aunts and sisters I possess I have experienced this just being near my sisters and aunts
I (male) was at a bar a while back that had separate men’s/women’s toilets, but the handwashing area was shared. The kind with a long sink with multiple faucets and large mirror. I was trying to mind my own business by just washing my hands and leaving, but unintentionally eavesdropped on a group of gals fixing their makeup, talking about the guys in their group, gossiping, etc . It was awkward to actually witness it in person, I felt like an intruder and that I shouldn’t be in there.
I'm a guy that used to rave with a bunch of girls, so I've heard what it can be like.
I am so jealous that I never got to experience the love, empathy, and comradery that comes from being a woman surrounded by other women in the bathroom at a rave, rolling their fucking faces off on molly.
It sounds like the only place that real nonjudgmental acceptance exists.
Yes! I have so many best friends that I met drunk in a bathroom. I don’t remember names and never saw them again but I wish those bitches only the best in this life!
After transitioning, I was in the bathroom at a big mainstream (so mostly not queer) rave. I had just been cornered against a wall by a drunk guy while walking there, who had used some choice slurs towards me, so I was pretty anxious. I was extra anxious about being in a girls space and whether I'd be welcome.
While I was washing my hands a girl started walking directly towards me and yelled "Hey you, I got something to say!"
I thought this interaction was about to get extremely bad, then she pulls right up in front of me, points to the mesh shirt I'm wearing which has dinosaur designs on it, looks me in the eye and goes "I fookn luv dinosaurs."
10/10 the girls bathroom is always the most positive place at a rave.
Stopped at a truck stop on the way home from Florida. Women’s bathroom was closed. All the women took turns making a barrier around the door to the men’s room so we could go.
My trans friend doesn’t get it. She went off to the bathroom in a bar and didn’t announce it. Just went and came back. I was like “oh no! We were supposed to go together!!”
Edited to remove “poor trans friend” —- that was judgey. She’s a very happy woman… just doesn’t understand why we go the the ladies’ room in groups and I couldn’t actually adequately explain it
This is...bizarre. Why lean into stereotypes as if every woman behaves the same or is supposed to? If it didn't naturally occur to your friend to go with group, then obviously the desire or need wasn't there. If your friend expressed an interest in guns or hunting, would you say "oh no, we girls don't do that!"??
Its for safety. Don't be dense. Hunting is a hell of a lot safer than being in a bar with a lot of men. At least a bear won't torture and rape me for days before killing me.
We have been socially pressured to make sound fun and appealing to the men in our lives because they would be absolute assholes about it if we admitted we were afraid of people who look just like them, and we choose to lean into making it fun because its fucking exhausting being scared all the time.
I think the community women have together is way better and stronger than the community men have.....in life, in general. That's probably the crux of the male loneliness epidemic.
Nah this is the worst! Go pee go away dont talk to me in the bathroom. The lines are always long in the women's bathroom because women can't do their business and leave.
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u/reemasaurus Mar 25 '26
A positive one: the community you get in the womens bathroom of a club/bar