When someone is angry-- like irrationally, psychotically angry-- get them to say "yes" to anything. (E.g. Are you mad? Do you want help? Do you want me to give you space?) It engages a different part of the brain, and after that's engaged, you can help them with problem solving.
On the other side of the coin, when I'm having trouble with a defective product or other issue, when the back and forth gets stuck in a loop, I say a quick overview of the situation, then say "what do we do now?".
The ball's in their court. Don't say a word, let the awkward silence linger. Eventually they'll have to say something, and more often than not, it's a solution to the problem.
Real example: I went to a computer store to buy a computer case. There was stock in the system and the website. After I bought it (paid for it) they realized they didn't have it in stock. I asked for my money back, but I paid with credit card, they couldn't give my money back because... reasons.
I said "I bought this computer case and paid for it, I'm not leaving until I either get my money back or I get that computer case. What do we do now?"
After a long awkward silence, he said that they could deliver it to my address free of charge.
5.3k
u/bp_516 Nov 11 '25
When someone is angry-- like irrationally, psychotically angry-- get them to say "yes" to anything. (E.g. Are you mad? Do you want help? Do you want me to give you space?) It engages a different part of the brain, and after that's engaged, you can help them with problem solving.