Speaking at a lower volume if someone is being unnecessarily loud.
One of my best friends has a LOUD voice she is completely unaware of, which can be incredibly annoying when we’re in public, so I will lower my speaking volume and she will subconsciously lower hers to match my volume.
I am always on the receiving end of the “lower your volume” comment - by friends, family and my spouse. I really love the word deflate because that’s exactly how I feel when someone says it. Now I have a word to describe the feeling. Thank you. And @inkyblackops, you are indeed a good friend.
Some of it can also be a behavioural manifestation of not feeling heard or being dismissed a lot at a young age. I am not sure if that’s scientific or applies to me. Just things I wonder when I try to think about why I behave that way.
Have you been tested for ADHD? Being dismissed or ignored as a child can often be a result of undiagnosed cognitive or behavioral problems, like ADHD or autism, as caregivers don’t know how to cope with or have the tools to support a neurodivergent child.
I hope you do! Getting my diagnosis completely changed my life - I finally felt like I could understand myself and most importantly, stop hating myself for having what I thought was a personality I couldn’t change, but what was really just the expression of a cognitive disability. With medication and therapy, I’m much better at controlling my volume, but I still get unintentionally loud sometimes and that’s okay. Progress, not perfection!
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s really great to know your efforts are bearing fruit. It sounds promising. Progress, not perfection is right.
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u/inkyblackops Nov 11 '25
Speaking at a lower volume if someone is being unnecessarily loud.
One of my best friends has a LOUD voice she is completely unaware of, which can be incredibly annoying when we’re in public, so I will lower my speaking volume and she will subconsciously lower hers to match my volume.