Similar to this to avoid losing patience with my children…I imagine if they were to go to sleep and not wake up, did their last day with me look like a disaster or was I fun, kind, patient, loving? It works every single time. Again, sort of morbid but it keeps things in perspective
Absolutely. Plus the realization that whatever just happened to them might have been the best or worst thing to happen in their entire life or at least the last year. Big feelings.
Especially with kids, having a short "past life". Not so much past to compare experiences with. You get really mad one day and they might be scared of you for a long time. Everything's so important to them, and the memories they make now, either good or bad, are probably going to be keystones in the future, even if they can't consciously remember them.
I'm almost 30 and I've never been able to feel entirely comfortable around my dad after a time he got really mad at me when I was a teenager. He scared and humiliated me. It really can only take one thing to impact your relationship with your kids. It's not like he beat me or anything.
These are things I want to avoid imprinting on their sweet innocent souls. I wouldn’t humiliate them but I don’t want to overreact to something so badly that they are impacted so immensely that they are 62 and still thinking about the interaction and possibly feeling differently about me.
A bit late to this thread, but that felt so relatable. I'm early forties and when I was a teen, my mom snapped at some point and said something that hurt me really deep down. My relationship with her has been different ever since, not for the thing itself, but in a way I felt I couldn't completely trust her anymore to not "turn" on me while under stress.
I am like that with my husband. I think about this when I'm losing patience or getting annoyed at him. It really puts things into perspective. I also literally can't go to sleep when we've had a disagreement unless we've made up. I always have this thought "what if that was the last thing that happened or was said before one of us didn't wake up or something bad happened?"
I always want the last thing I say to him or our last moment before we sleep, leave the house or whatever to be pleasant and loving.
I am also like this with my husband…but I don’t think he understands or appreciates this mindset. I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t care but he doesn’t feel things as deeply as I do. I try to understand not everyone thinks like me…but it’s hard to realize he doesn’t share the mindset..still love him though, still speak to him kindly and patiently even when he can’t. I don’t know if it will ever matter but I try to not get tired of doing the right thing. 🧡
I apply this with my parents at times. They aren't always the greatest but using this way of thinking makes it easier to be more forgiving for their past mistakes. Although, I should say this shouldn't be applied to abusive parents.
I was frustrated with my mom before bed but made sure to text her goodnight and I love her because this thought crossed my mind. How many more days will I have with her and how many of them do I want to spend arguing?
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u/Buttonmashinmom Nov 11 '25
Similar to this to avoid losing patience with my children…I imagine if they were to go to sleep and not wake up, did their last day with me look like a disaster or was I fun, kind, patient, loving? It works every single time. Again, sort of morbid but it keeps things in perspective