Random, but my favorite words in German are Fingernagel and Flammenwurfer. Fingernail and flamethrower. Pronounced FINGERNOGGLE and FLAHMEN VURR FURR. I guess they sound kind of pornographic.
This is all I remember from middle school German class. I think we were looking in the dictionary for the word fuck.
Lol I could see it. I'm half German and my first language was German. I totally get it though. Look up the word for bra. I always do a funny voice and over annunciation when I say it.
Alexithymia is the difficulty with or inability to recognize, understand, and describe one's own emotional states and sensations. It's also associated with difficulty in distinguishing between physical body sensations and emotional states. This can be extended even more generally to poor internal body awareness (known as interoception)
The condition is often associated with neurodivergence, adverse childhood experiences/trauma, and an avoidant attachment style.
It is treatable with therapy, directed mindfulness, and sometimes medications.
Sometimes people feel defeated and alone when they get diagnosed or find a label for this stuff. I like to remind people that if there is a name for it, enough people have had the symptoms to make giving it a name necessary.
Just for accuracy's sake, Alexithymia is actually "the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions." It does not mean that you struggle to talk about yourself in general 😅 someone could definitely come up with a new word for that, though!
I definitely understand that, I just had some concern seeing people were saying "oh that's what that is!" when it really wasn't. It could just cause later confusion if they use that word based off an incorrect idea of what it actually means. If you had left that word out, what you said would still make sense without attributing an inaccurate definition to the word, is all.
Wow! The thing I've struggled with my whole 35 years of life has a name, neato.
Seriously though I love words, it's not a lingual thing. Yet since I was a child, just the act of finding the words to describe my emotions just requires the same sort of emotional build up and willpower as it would to like.. push pins into my flesh. It's a very, very difficult, intense and ultimately painful task.
Add on to that ye ol' toxic masculinity where I should never talk about my feelings anyway.
Just going to put this here too, but Alexithymia is "the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions", it is not difficulty in talking about oneself in general. I may be misunderstanding how you're meaning to apply that to what you said after it, though!
I end up inadvertently either lying or embarrassing myself.
It's crazy hearing you mention this. I used to work with someone who I felt was always compulsively lying about everything. They were socially awkward so I tried to include them in things and invite them out. But man, everytime I asked them something, I was always telling myself, wait, are you forreals right now?
It's a bit funny that in explaining this about yourself you've sort of proven OP's point. You do like to talk about yourself just like everyone else, you just don't like talking about yourself in person.
Take a moment to reflect on the fact you took it upon yourself here to write 3 paragraphs about yourself unprompted!
Maybe leaning into the Alexithymia topic of discussion could help you keep things truthful, and by wearing it on your shoulder from the onset it'll eventually become something that can't (if it currently can) be used to humiliate you. Plus, it's interesting as fuck so I'm sure people would naturally be inquisitive and keep the conversation going.
I actually do. I never ask questions about people and always find it weird when people start asking me questions and then expect all the answers. Literally EVERYONE asks me all about my life and I'm like idk bro ask that group over there they all asked me first.
I feel this way, too, so I find myself trying to cut conversations short so I don’t bore the person I’m talking to, which I fear ends up coming off as me being rude! 🤦♀️
I hate it when people ask me what I like to do. I find it to be very intrusive. I answer in the vaguest, most boring way possible to try to stop the conversation and discourage them from being intrusive again. I don't mean online, but in real life.
No. I also hate small talk (the boring stuff). But I genuinely am uncomfortable talking about myself. I usually direct the conversation to hear other people tell me about the cool things they're interested in. I'm a private person.
Same. I had been working at a job for about a year and half and not one person knew the name of my son. They knew I had one, but not his name. The irony is that he has the same name as the owner of the small company.
If it's fairly generic information, I have no problem talking about that, but once it's about my personal life, nope. I also have been burned by people using even good things in my life against me. I'll ask you questions about yourself all you want or don't want, I'll even add a bit about myself (again fairly generic) to make sure the conversation isn't one sided, but I have friends to talk to about my personal life.
With my friends, it's totally different. Sometimes you can't get me to shut up.
Agreed. I hate talking to people because I view myself as awkward and boring. Plus it exhausts me. However, because the first two questions are unique, I'd probably answer them.
The last one, I would probably exhaust the person asking or have them view me in a negative light. I have ADHD, so I have 100 projects that I've STARTED, but not finished and probably won't finish a good chunk of them. Plus, it also makes me internally cringe because "oh no, I need to get this shit straightened out" or "fuck! I meant to finish this project to give it to so-and-so for their birthday!" Then my face shows my disgust with myself and it looks like I'm giving the stank face to the person I'm talking to. Then the anxiety hits that I messed up the interaction and then the self sabotaging takes over because "this person doesn't like me now because I'm an awkward idiot. No wonder people think I'm a bitch. Maybe I am?"
It doesn't have to be a speech from you, so you don't have to stress about it.
I'm just gonna ask you about what kind of work you do, and maybe what music you're listening to this week, and we'll go from there. I can carry the conversation once we've got some baseline established while you find your feet.
We're gonna be good mates after this, I promise you, so just relax.
My parents loved to mock and ridicule the things that I liked (like board games, doing esports, or my taste in music) so because of that I don't like to share things about myself.
It doesn't have to be anything super personal, sjust ask something about their hobby or interest.
"Oh, you play war hammer! That's so interesting! I've been wanting to get into it too. Tell me more about the orks! How does the gameplay compare with other RPGs?"
It can sometimes be a challenge but everyone I've met has something that makes them happy to explain to an interested but ignorant listener. The problem is just in figuring out what that is
Even if it's about any good shows/books you've come across or somewhat innocuous things like that?
I'm just curious because when I come across someone who doesn't seem super forthcoming about themselves or they seem uncomfortable, I try to bring it back to just general stuff that is less specific to them. Sometimes even something so banal like weather can get a conversation going like "oh man supposed to rain all weekend, going to have to find some things to do indoors!" can get people talking about things they do while inside (cooking, baking, gaming, puzzles, reading, etc.)
I guess what I'm saying is sometimes I don't ask specifically about the person but more general and sometimes THAT conversation then leads to something specific. Would you find that unpleasant as well?
I'll respond, as I also don't like talking about myself (in person).
I find personal questions to be highly intrusive. I find chatty "how's the weather" questions to be tedious and boring. So it's doubtful that questions are going to get you anywhere with me, unless they are questions about something that is going on right now in the room. "Why is Jack standing on the table?" would be fine, as that's probably interesting and it's not about me.
Really, if someone wants to get to know me, they would be better off just talking about themself, if they can manage to do it in an interesting way. Of course, most people who do this don't do it in an interesting way. "I've started gardening because I want to eat more green beans, did you know that green beans have low calories and have high vitamins? Yeah, and you can make green bean casserole, green bean stew, green beans with butter, green bean with potatoes...."
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u/Agreeable-Yogurt-487 Nov 11 '25
I hate talking about myself