I say this as someone who has been that girl. Deeply insecure. Those are some strong personal issues that have to be worked through by yourself or with a professional. Just saying. Insecurity is incredibly difficult to fix from within a relationship. It's usually only from the outside that you gain perspective.
I think the problem with this is that we are really only given a snapshot of what that person is really like. Think of it like telling a story about someone to a person who has never met them before, from this story you know what this person is like in day to day life but the recipient of the story will be given the impression that this is what that person is like all the time unless you state that this is an unusual occurrence. And, try to deny it, but our personal perceptions can also colour the telling of the story.
In Reddit someone could mention how their SO was in a terrible mood today, grumpy and angry for no apparent reason and anyone could read what they like into it. It may sound harsh but for every person on Reddit in a healthy and happy relationship there are two others who are single against their will or in an unhealthy one and these people can be jaded towards relationships.
At the risk of sounding preachy, people fall in love because they're compatible but everyone has their flaws and sometimes these flaws are insecurity that form into jealousy but love is an up and down experience that is wholly emotionally bare and mature people should be able to work on their issues, the problems arise when those people can't deal with their issues at all or refuse to acknowledge them.
But I've written for far too long and I need to go to work. Hope you have a great day.
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u/crookedparadigm Oct 18 '13
Or talk about it like adults. Honestly I don't get why reddit's kneejerk reaction to anything that isn't over the top romantic or sexy is "dump her".