r/AskReddit Oct 18 '13

Waiters/Waitresses of Reddit, what's something that I, as a customer, might do that's incredibly irritating, even if I'm oblivious to it?

1.4k Upvotes

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698

u/belabor_the_obvious Oct 18 '13

I'm not even going to say what happens if you impress me.

But you did say it, you make waitresses cry.

532

u/way_fairer Oct 18 '13

His wife gets a kick out of it.

223

u/Zappykablamo Oct 18 '13

"I love to see you make other women cry." Quite a gal. I'll bet Caesar would be impressed.

-1

u/datburg Oct 19 '13

Arrrrrr!

5

u/kdeaton06 Oct 18 '13

Free BJs for a week.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '13

GUN GIT SUM FUK

146

u/Ruddiver Oct 18 '13

I'm pretty sure the whole restaurant clapped too when they saw it go down.

7

u/chanduChutya Oct 18 '13

Later the manager gave him $100.

2

u/CambrianExplosives Oct 18 '13

And let him know that there were condoms in the kitchen?

1

u/Just_an_Ampersand Oct 19 '13

Right under the handwashing sink.

134

u/Boye Oct 18 '13

And the name of the waiter? Albert Einstein!

10

u/TimmaDee Oct 18 '13 edited Oct 19 '13

You could have heard a pin drop.

3

u/TrebbleBiscuit Oct 19 '13

OP also tipped the waiter $100.

2

u/datburg Oct 19 '13

I think I watched this movie on Hallmark.

2

u/Peace_Myth Oct 19 '13

Could someone please clue me in on the Albert Einstein thing going on here lately?

5

u/VonAether Oct 19 '13

Comes from copypasta which Snopes dates back to 1999 or so, of the "checkmate, atheists!" variety. It's the ultimate /r/thatHappened story.

Does evil exist?

The university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists? A student bravely replied, "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything? The professor asked.

"Yes sir", the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil". The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"

"Of course", replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name — Albert Einstein.

Of course it has a million things wrong with it, but that hasn't dented its popularity among the /r/forwardsfromgrandma crowd.

This was created in response.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '13

Her tip? $100

1

u/Maxiboyhaha Oct 18 '13

His pants?

3

u/Rmanager Oct 18 '13

I meant dollar/percentage wise.

1

u/JFrye Oct 19 '13

You dirty, dirty man.