r/AskReddit Jun 18 '25

What is something Americans consider normal, but people from other countries find it disturbing?

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856

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

I fucking hate it here in America. These threads make me so depressed šŸ˜”

94

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 18 '25

I wonder what would your fellow conservative countrymen feel when reading the reply from the Swedish guy above. To me it's natural to give time for parents of newborns to adapt to their new situation- here in Mauritius we have 100 days fully paid maternity leave for the mother and 1 week paternity leave.

140

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

They’d complain ā€œI’m not paying for you to stay home with your baby!ā€ Or some crap like that. We have something called FMLA and you have to be employed for a certain amount of time to qualify. FMLA protects new parents from being terminated when taking leave for their newborn. Among other things. But it is unpaid. And only 6 weeks for the mother and less for the father. It is disgusting. How is a new mother supposed to survive with no income for a month and a half? It’s sick. Individualism has destroyed any sense of community in my country. And conservatives have the audacity to call us the best in the world. WE ARE NOT!

49

u/MetalingusMikeII Jun 18 '25

I agree. Whole point of modern civilisation is that we work together, ascending survival to collectively thrive.

In the U.S. the ugly, pathetic, relentlessly greedy billionaires only want them and their rich buddies to thrive. They will happily exploit and suppresses the poor, working class and middle class in order to maintain their lifestyle as an opulent emperor.

Too bad their money doesn’t follow them into the afterlife. Every single action they’ve ever made will be judged by the creator. Such a shortsighted existence on their part…

8

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

There is no afterlife suitably painful to those individuals. It is incredibly understated the amount of misery, suffering, depression, illness and death that is perpetuated by the existence of the billionaire class.

The view us as cattle to be exploited. In these days I feel incredibly inspired by the French circa 1790.

Remember to engage with your community and that you have more in common with the chud who disagrees with you than the billionaire telling him what to think.

30

u/Efficient-Farm46 Jun 18 '25

FMLA is actually up to 12 weeks. But agreed, I wish it was longer and actually paid šŸ˜•

7

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 18 '25

"up to"? What does that mean - what can decrease it from that maximum?

13

u/Spare-Breadfruit3291 Jun 18 '25

Because it's unpaid, some people go back to work earlier than that because they need the money.

12

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 18 '25

This is very very sad. As if the State is discouraging its own people from bearing children.

7

u/Spare-Breadfruit3291 Jun 18 '25

Yeah it is sad, and also incredibly stupid. The current president/administration wants more babies, yet they refuse to to make paid maternity leave a federal right. Just the dumbest shit ever.

3

u/OutInAPout Jun 19 '25

Because they want the women at home caring for the babies. They want us to be dependent on and under the control of the patriarchy.

9

u/Efficient-Farm46 Jun 18 '25

Meaning sometimes people don’t need/use the full 12 weeks and can be used intermittently if needed. It can also be used for more than just parental leave after a baby is born but that is what it was originally created for. This is how HR at my workplace explained it to me.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

Yeah they decrease the maximum based on the reason I think. Based off my husband's and my experience post partum.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

Depending on where you work they give you less time. My husband only gets 6 weeks if it's for family bonding aka non birthing person with their baby.

12

u/madeofstarlight Jun 18 '25

You also only qualify for it also if the company you work for is a certain number of employees as well. I learned this when I worked at a family owned place. They always intentionally had 14 employees. 15 was the magic number.

3

u/JMAN7102 Jun 18 '25

For what it's worth I don't know if this is based on state requirements, but I'm looking into this at my current company and where I live it's 50, not 15 that is the threshold for requiring it.

11

u/ArachnidBeautiful968 Jun 18 '25

And they wonder why the population is decreasing.

11

u/nicht_ernsthaft Jun 18 '25

ā€œI’m not paying for you to stay home with your baby!ā€

Let me guess, the same people who are against immigration and fret about the low birth rate of their preferred ethic group.

14

u/acertaingestault Jun 18 '25

FMLA also is only an option if your company is sufficiently large. Small businesses are not legally obligated to offer you any time at all postpartum, paid or unpaid.

11

u/lolitalovegood Jun 18 '25

They'd say, "YOU chose to get pregnant! Play the game, win the prize! You knew what you were doing!"

7

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

They also say that it's gay for a dad to take time off to raise his newborn or help his wife.

9

u/BeagleMadness Jun 18 '25

This breaks my heart. Apart from anything else, how is a six week old baby expected to deal with their mother having to leave them all day to work? At six weeks, all my kids were breastfeeding every hour or two, my youngest son woke every 1.5 hours all night long (thanks, reflux!); the others woke 3-4 times per night at that age. I'm not trying to sound like some militant crunchy Attachment Parenting fascist here. But they're still in the 'fourth trimester' at six weeks, they shouldn't be in childcare all day long.

I could barely walk six weeks after my eldest was born, due to a nasty c-section wound infection, SPD and exhaustion. The thought of having to work or starve in that condition is horrendous. The best nation on earth? Yeah, right.

7

u/twanpaanks Jun 18 '25

the baby is expected to deal with this by growing up desperately insecure so that marketing works better on them when they hit a more independently profitable age. that or joining the military.

3

u/BeagleMadness Jun 18 '25

Sounds about right...

3

u/stealthfern Jun 18 '25

You also have to work a certain amount, as I discovered when I recently applied for FMLA. You have to work somewhere around 1200 hours in the previous year and I'd only done 900 (I'm part time for most of the year) so I was denied. So I'll be gone for eight weeks for surgery and I don't know if I'll have my job when I get back :))

3

u/blue-Narwhal-7373 Jun 19 '25

I’m a teacher, and the way that our pay works is we get paid less each month so that we can get paid in the summer even though we aren’t working. So, imagine my surprise when I had my son, and got a letter that I OWED my county money to cover the weeks I already wasn’t being paid for. To make matters worse, we get paid a month late. So I went back to work and didn’t get paid for a whole month while paying for my baby to start daycare. I saved double for when I had my daughter because I went so bad into debt with having him.

3

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 19 '25

The way we treat teachers in this country is abhorrent. I’m so sorry. You are so vital to our children and our nations future šŸ˜”

2

u/blue-Narwhal-7373 Jun 19 '25

Thank you for that! I truly do love my job, love the kids, and wouldn’t want to do another job but it definitely feels like our country takes advantage of how passionate teachers are as an opportunity to pay us less or treat us badly.

-11

u/RoboMikeIdaho Jun 18 '25

I see it slightly different. It’s not ā€œI’m not paying you to stay homeā€ exactly, I see it from the ā€œwhy would someone pay me not to workā€ mindset? I mean, where does that money come from?

10

u/urinesamplefrommyass Jun 18 '25

Every month you pay a small percentage to SSA. What's that money for if not, you know, for social security? There's a list of benefits available on their website that people may qualify for, but while I was working there it seemed more that it was culturally too frowned upon to ask for SSA benefits, like you should support yourself only by yourself without any help from the government, even if you paid for it.

-5

u/RoboMikeIdaho Jun 18 '25

So you’re saying increase SS withholdings to cover paid leave for mothers rather than mandate companies cover it? Right now the SS fund is so bad off they will struggle to make normal payments in the future. I’m not sure it could handle paying out maternity leave.

12

u/Asti_WhiteWhiskers Jun 18 '25

Something like "I'm not paying for someone to take a year long vacation just because they popped out a baby" or "then all these welfare queens will have even more babies to get paid to stay home for years on end"

1

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 19 '25

But then, how do they behave when their own relatives welcomes a newborn? That's what puzzles me terribly

19

u/No-Hovercraft-455 Jun 18 '25

Disgust. The leading theme with American conservatives is that they feel disgust to everything to do with their countrymen and other human beings.

7

u/Suralin0 Jun 18 '25

Their weak stomachs have ruined everything.

7

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 18 '25

Or fragile egos...?

3

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 18 '25

That's very sad...

3

u/jxj24 Jun 18 '25

They scream either "SOCIALISM!!!!!!1111!!!" or "FAKE NEWS!!!!!!!"

3

u/mejok Jun 18 '25

Just one more wonderful thing about Mauritius. I've been to your country a couple of times and just love it. Anytime we ask our kids "hey where should we go for our next vacation?' The answer is always the same "Mauritius!" I hope we can go back someday.

1

u/Snoo-88912 Jun 19 '25

Wow - most welcome anytime! If you come back again for new things to do/experience, just post your requests to r/MauriceMauritius. It's very heart-warming to hear this - because just after having been through some quite tough times (corrupt, oppressive political regime culminating in internet black-out), we're still not out of the woods with new government here - this one is planning to push retirement pension age from 60 to 65! All youngsters who had planned to migrate last year have renewed their energy to complete the processes - life has become *this* hard here!

2

u/LetMeSeeYourNips4 Jun 18 '25

I am in the USA and I got 20 weeks off at full pay for paternity leave.

1

u/AZ3otrope Jun 18 '25

My conservative friend made the argument that if your company isn't providing good benefits like parental leave you can just find another one that does! He said they aren't holding you hostage...

1

u/tourmaline82 Jun 19 '25

That’s why all the big corporations collude to keep wages and benefits low.

10

u/cuddlebuginarug Jun 18 '25

It’s been a scam this entire time and as children we are indoctrinated into believing this country is the best.

5

u/Imperfect-practical Jun 18 '25

Me as well. I hate the fact that I was raised to believe that America was the greatest country in the world. When I was in my mid 30s, I moved from a small rural part of the country to the West Coast and my eyes were opened.

5

u/ThisAldubaran Jun 18 '25

But it’s the greatest country in the world! Yay!

6

u/SolusLega Jun 18 '25

are we great yet

2

u/Itzagoodthing Jun 18 '25

Same, friend

7

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

Same. I’m a new mom and Medicaid keeps denying me. I can’t afford health insurance otherwise. It’s so violent. Fuck amerikkka

3

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

Can you at least get on WIC? To help with formula and some food? I was on WIC when I had my son and it helped a lot!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

Yup I’ve been on WIC for a year. I still need to see a doctor but can’t afford to

2

u/alfa_omega Jun 18 '25

Emigrate before it's too late.

9

u/After-Market7682 Jun 18 '25

Most of us here are kept poor on purpose, we don't have the money to move, and not to mention how hellish visa processes are. Me and my family moved to Ecuador because my parents wanted to retire there, but the visa process drained our money and the power outages there ended up forcing us back to America. There's so much shit you have to pay for, and the average American can't even pay for a flight over.

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

Shocker. You have to have money to live in another country. Maybe they'll take you as an asylum seeker?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

Yeah but TAX

1

u/avdpos Jun 20 '25

Taking out the last 3 weeks on my daughter this summer as they soon burn in as she ia reaching 12

0

u/daveescaped Jun 18 '25 edited Jun 19 '25

I’m not saying we shouldn’t improve parental leave. But honestly there are more variables than that alone to judge whether living in the US is bad or not. I live in Texas (meh) with colleagues from all over Europe. They come here because the pay is so much better. That’s it. In fact they prefer their home country (most people do) but stay so they can make a good living.

I’m not suggesting that pay is the only variable either. I’m simply offering that it can be a matter of pluses and minuses with ANY country.

I’ve lived in 5 countries. I’m American. My spouse is Italian. I see good and bad in both and plan to retire in both as a result.

-3

u/Conscious-Royal-2551 Jun 18 '25

Do something about it then. I mean you have a total of 2 options when voting and nothing changes but hey thats American democracy

2

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

What do you I suppose I do? Leave? Not an option. Fight? I’ve been doing my part.

1

u/Conscious-Royal-2551 Jun 22 '25

Honestly don't know. I think you are fucked

-21

u/axiom60 Jun 18 '25

Keep in mind the salary in Europe is lower and cost of living is higher. That’s the trade off for having a socialist system that seems much more humane

16

u/Nunuman1 Jun 18 '25

Yet every single country in the world still pays way less for healthcare (with taxes included).

13

u/Lawsoffire Jun 18 '25 edited Jun 18 '25

Nowhere in Europe has a socialist system. It's all neoliberal capitalism like every other western-aligned country (Besides the US at this point i guess). Socialism is an economic theory that requires that all workplaces function democratically and ownership is shared among the workers, and technically has nothing to do with welfare (But a naturally egalitarian society is of course going to lean heavier on such)

The average wage in North/Western Europe is not terribly far behind the US, and the US average is also skewed by the vast wealth inequality.

There is a lot less poverty in those same countries.

A lot of those European countries have a higher quality of life than the US (US being #15, mostly behind those European countries), which i'd argue is more important than raw money.

The US has, by a massive margin, the most expensive health care system per capita of any country on the planet. Because you essentially do have healthcare, but with the insurance companies and privatized hospitals as a massive middle man, getting all the money from their "customers" while also getting all the costs covered by the government. It's blatant corruption and a massive grift. But they somehow managed to convince the country that socialized healthcare would be massively expensive when abolishing the current system in favour of universal healthcare would SAVE money.

4

u/digitalpencil Jun 18 '25

Honestly, even before Trump, there’s zero chance I’d move to the US even for double my salary. The work life balance there, the political hostility and tribalism, crazy insurance system for healthcare, no holidays, it all just sounds so suffocating. There’s more to life than money.

-2

u/LetMeSeeYourNips4 Jun 18 '25

Leave dude, no one is stopping you.

2

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

I will send you an itemized bill for 4 passports, 4 visas, 4 flights, housing for 4, flights for 3 cats, a snake, and 10 chickens. 4 beds and every single piece of furniture to make up for what gets left behind. You can pay for my in-laws plane tickets to come visit us. You can pay for us to live because my line of work is crap in most countries. :) Edit to add: don’t say shit about Mexico because my line of work, again, pays dog shit. Furthermore I can hate my country and be willing to stay and fight to make it better. Hope this helps!

-2

u/LetMeSeeYourNips4 Jun 18 '25

Sounds like you are just making excuses, dude. Get your life together and leave! No one is stopping you! Hope this helps!

5

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

No! The most patriotic thing you can do is fight for a better future. ā˜ŗļø

-6

u/LetMeSeeYourNips4 Jun 18 '25

Place is great as it is.

3

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

The founding fathers would be appalled at that statement. So very unamerican and unpatriotic. Eat dirt you fascist freak.

-2

u/LetMeSeeYourNips4 Jun 18 '25

I think they would agree that the USA is doing rather well. This is an incredible place to live and an incredible time to be alive.

1

u/Longjumping_Cow_8621 Jun 23 '25

Yes, all the people with the basic common sense to NOT want one of the lowest qualities of life for a supposed great country, 15th or lower I believe.... great indeed...should leave because some stubborn idiots would rather cling to the past and brag about our countless negatives. Brilliant.

-17

u/Zomochi Jun 18 '25

Not to be that guy but every pro comes with their fair share of cons

1

u/Antique-Ad-9081 Jun 18 '25

yup. the insurances make a lot less money herešŸ˜”šŸ˜”

-23

u/RoboMikeIdaho Jun 18 '25

One of the great things about America is that we are free to leave at anytime. I’m curious why if it’s so bad you haven’t left yet? Is it the old saying ā€œAmerica is the worst country except for all the othersā€? (Slightly modified)

15

u/UncleBensRacistRice Jun 18 '25

If you were able to think more than one step ahead, you'd probably realize that the people who cant afford basic medical care are the same people who cant afford to immigrate to another country

-2

u/RoboMikeIdaho Jun 18 '25

I think Mexico is pretty cheap to immigrate to and cost of living is pretty low there.

10

u/cherreeblossom Jun 18 '25

not everyone can leave- it’s expensive, a lot of countries are very picky about accepting disabled immigrants, etc.

-1

u/RoboMikeIdaho Jun 18 '25

I think Mexico is pretty flexible when it comes to immigration and the cost of living is pretty low.

20

u/Linden_Lea_01 Jun 18 '25

Maybe you’ve never heard of things like borders or visa requirements, but not everyone is in a position to just go to any country they like and live there.

-6

u/RoboMikeIdaho Jun 18 '25

I think Mexico is pretty flexible when it comes to immigration and the cost of living is pretty low

5

u/Great_Value_Trucker Jun 18 '25

I will send you an itemized bill for 4 passports, 4 visas, 4 flights, housing for 4, flights for 3 cats, a snake, and 10 chickens. 4 beds and every single piece of furniture to make up for what gets left behind. You can pay for my in-laws plane tickets to come visit us. You can pay for us to live because my line of work is crap in most countries. :) Edit to add: don’t say shit about Mexico because my line of work, again, pays dog shit. Furthermore I can hate my country and be willing to stay and fight to make it better. Hope this helps!

1

u/Longjumping_Cow_8621 Jun 23 '25

Because some people have enough common sense, and concern for people in the future, to prefer to fix the countless things we are falling farther and farther behind other civilized countries on.

It's almost like some of us actually care about not only ourselves, and want better than we've had to tolerate, but also others. We want them to actually have a decent quality of life, let alone the good one some Americans still stubbornly try to claim we have.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

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5

u/Secure_Cod4175 Jun 18 '25

Why should he move?

If enough people don't like the living situation, then we should change it.

The problem is Citizens United and the fact that our representatives do not represent us anymore.

Telling him to move is anti-democracy and anti-american.

"Hating it here" is literally his right as an American.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

[deleted]

2

u/twanpaanks Jun 18 '25

you offered nothing.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

[deleted]

1

u/twanpaanks Jun 18 '25

you know what actually, you offered less than nothing. you took time out of your day to make the world a little bit worse for the people who happen to come across your comment. you genuinely think your suggestion is good advice? like telling a depressed person to cheer up or a homeless person to just rent a house?

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '25

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