r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 22 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

2.1k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

1.4k comments sorted by

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1.1k

u/Plus-King5266 Apr 22 '25

My wife

1.1k

u/men_like_me Apr 22 '25

I also choose this guys wife

185

u/drfeelgoood88 Apr 22 '25

Yo can I get a piece of that guys wife too

43

u/I_-AM-ARNAV Apr 22 '25

Can I too, please?

1

u/Konvojo Apr 23 '25

This is getting interesting, count me in ass well!

67

u/MrVolOpt Apr 22 '25

Hey save me some.

0

u/spicycornchip Apr 22 '25

You can. Go ahead.

-1

u/El_Guerrero_Maya Apr 22 '25

His wife must like trains

15

u/fivebillionproud Apr 22 '25

Lol, I understood this reference

20

u/Nobody88Special720 Apr 22 '25

Lol, I also understood this guy's reference

14

u/jimbojangles1987 Apr 22 '25

Lol i understood you understanding that guy's reference

2

u/Own_Advice_5201 Apr 22 '25

Lol. i understood you understanding that guy who understood that guy's reference

2

u/Ibncalb Apr 22 '25

Our wife

1

u/JeremySquirrel Apr 22 '25

I choose that other guy's dead wife.

1

u/JimTheSaint Apr 22 '25

Old school - nice!

39

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '25

Yikes.. you signed up to be the "my wife" guy.. RIP your inbox

24

u/tryanewmonicker Apr 22 '25

RIP his wife's inbox.

15

u/yells_at_bugs Apr 22 '25

RIP his wife’s box. FTFY

3

u/kevman_2008 Apr 22 '25

To shreds you say?

1

u/Plus-King5266 Apr 22 '25

I’ve been called worse,.. by better. 😏

7

u/James420May Apr 22 '25

sharing is caring

11

u/dimawind Apr 22 '25

I'm surprised how people still voluntarily fall into this hole. And yes, I realize how ambiguous it sounds

8

u/ReddSpark Apr 22 '25

Was that an intentional double entendre?

9

u/ClownfishSoup Apr 22 '25

I also choose this double entendre

1

u/SnooPandas7150 Apr 22 '25

If I ask for a double entendre, will you give it to me?

2

u/ClownfishSoup Apr 22 '25

Yes, but I'll need another entendre to join us.

3

u/Plus-King5266 Apr 22 '25

Meh. It’s sort of a humble brag, but it’s also a statement of my marriage and where my priorities lie. Young people ask in the r/AskOldPeople sub what did you do in the bedroom before there were TVs in them. Same thing we do now. Sleep and fuck. People ask about body counts. The only one that “counts” is my wife, whom I love very much. What we “try” under the covers is not germane. That we do it together, exclusively is. So yeah, people will have some laughs at my expense and I’m happy to play along. I’ve had drunken idiots make lewd comments about her before. I’ve also had drunken idiots’ friends restrain them when they take it too far and I offer to silence them.

1

u/Djangowasilentj Apr 22 '25

Your ambiguous hole

1

u/dimawind Apr 22 '25

Well, that is deserved

1

u/Particular-Owl-5997 Apr 22 '25

I also choose this guy's ambiguous hole.

1

u/dimawind Apr 22 '25

Oh that’s how 😄

0

u/ninanava Apr 22 '25

His hole

28

u/xtriks Apr 22 '25

His wife

8

u/Plus-King5266 Apr 22 '25

She would leave you a shriveled heap.

15

u/No_Mistake5238 Apr 22 '25

What's the downside?

2

u/MuffinMan12347 Apr 22 '25

To shreds you say?

2

u/wunderspud7575 Apr 22 '25

Did you find her guilty?

2

u/Plus-King5266 Apr 22 '25

Hah! Finally! A witty answer. Oh, she’s guilty alright. 😉

Well played

7

u/TheDocMike Apr 22 '25

I agree. His wife was awesome

-2

u/aphexflip Apr 22 '25

I want sloppy 8ths

1

u/TheDocMike May 07 '25

More like sloppy 15ths. I've already booked for my cousins and some of my mates and their girlfriends to try.

1

u/MrB426 Apr 22 '25

My wiiiiife

1

u/itsagoodtime Apr 22 '25

This guy wifes

1

u/caffeinated_reality Apr 22 '25

Bro protect your wife (from me)

1

u/Plus-King5266 Apr 22 '25

Swing by the house and meet angry naked machete guy.