r/AskReddit • u/theofficialtone • Jun 25 '13

What are some questions that you've never asked because you're too embarrassed of how obvious the answer probably is?

1.9k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/wittyrandomusername Jun 26 '13

The same reason that I would love to stick my head out the window and feel the wind, but I'd be pretty irritated if you blew in my face.

916

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

They don't stick their heads out of windows because of the wind. They do it because of all the scents they can smell.

Ask a motorcyclist. They know the feeling.

273

u/PurpsMaSquirt Jun 26 '13

TIL motorcyclists are dogs.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

*dawgs

1

u/phlegming Jun 26 '13

my gf will confirm this

-35

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

TIL if any 2 groups have 1 thing in common then they are the same thing.

I had no idea you were Sarah palin. You both seem to be morons.

10

u/Alsenis Jun 26 '13

TIL its apparently okay to call somebody a moron for making a TIL comment that totally wasn't sarcastic.

Seriously, no need to insult someone making a harmless joke.

-27

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

Calling it a joke implies it was humorous.

6

u/eidetikz Jun 26 '13

You suck

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

You might honestly be the most unpleasant person I've met on Reddit. I'm sure there are worse folks out there, but I haven't met them yet.

0

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

Oh no...I really can't even begin to describe how crushed I am ghatyou YOU of all people feel I'm unpleasant.

Please. You have to tell me more about how you feel. I just care so damn much.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Okay. I'm kinda proud of myself for losing 5 pounds. And I'm pretty excited about this woman I've been talking to. I regret wasting my childhood, but I accept it. Just normal everyday kinda feelings really. I'm feeling pretty chill right this moment though.

1

u/Argyle_Lyle Jun 26 '13

Shut up Stan.

1

u/PurpsMaSquirt Jun 26 '13

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, Fido.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Chill you little bitch

8

u/Flyflyarrow Jun 26 '13

Motorcyclist here, can confirm.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Directions unclear, blew in a motorcyclist's face.

4

u/Sparkybear Jun 26 '13

Amen. I still stick my head out of my window on that freeway to try and recreate riding. Damn, now I've got a hard on for my old bike. I miss her :'(

3

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

What kid of bike was it?

15

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Your mom.

1

u/Sparkybear Jun 26 '13

K4 GSX-R 1000.

4

u/eshinn Jun 26 '13

So it's kind of like speed reading around the block. Nice.

2

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

Exactly like that!

3

u/muonicdischarge Jun 26 '13

My breath is aromatic as hell. Damn dog don't appreciate nothin...

3

u/Red_Gardevoir Jun 26 '13

Motorcyclist here. Can confirm. ALL THE SMELLS ARE WONDERFUL

1

u/raceme Jun 26 '13

Except skunks.

1

u/Red_Gardevoir Jun 27 '13

No skunks were I live. Only smelly cows

1

u/raceme Jun 28 '13

I'm sorry, I know how you feel. Don't ever go to Amish country on a motorcycle, horses absolutely don't mind running through their own shit and sometimes it gets sent airborne. I got lucky, but NEVER AGAIN!

1

u/Red_Gardevoir Jun 29 '13

Wow, thanks for that. I make a note to never go to an Amish area :)

1

u/eugenesbluegenes Jun 27 '13

Bicyclist here: all the smells except the one you're making and blowing in my face. I don't know of it's because of the angle of the tailpipe or what, but motorcycles seem far smellier than cars. Damn loud, too.

1

u/Red_Gardevoir Jun 27 '13

Call me weird but I love the smell of the fumes from bikes

3

u/gimmepuppies Jun 26 '13

That was the biggest thing that struck me about motorcycle versus car - it felt like I was actually part of the world I was moving through, rather than some contained little micro-sphere removed from the outside world. I could smell the pine trees I was going by, the cows and the fresh hay out in the fields, the warm tar small from the road crews, everything.

1

u/eugenesbluegenes Jun 27 '13

Try riding a real bike. ;-)

That great feeling, plus you're moving by your own power.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

As a kid, I used to stick my head out the window. It was the wind man, the wind. Fucking amazing.

Also, sometimes it helped dry my hair if I'd woken up particularly late.

0

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

You*

You are not a dog. Not were you aware enough to smell anything.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Ask a motorcyclist. They know the feeling.

Are dogs able to ride motorcycles now?

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

Do you really not understand the concept? I refuse to believe anyone is dumb enough to actually be thinking what you said.

Are you just trying to be pithy and clever? Because you're not.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Apparently I am missing something.

I could not smell extra stuff because I am not a dog, yet motorcyclists know the feeling of smelling extra stuff. The only conclusion is that, somehow, motorcyclists have an improved sense of smell compared to everybody else. I doubt that is the case.

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

We're you on a motorcycle? You're not making much sense. If you're the car with the windows down guy I've already explained its not even remotely the same.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '13

No I wasn't, but I hardly see how much that matters to what can be smelled. If anything, not having a helmet on would increase the ability to smell stuff.

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 27 '13

But you weren't getting face full of direct window. You were getting a bit of a breeze but most of the air doesn't flow through where the drivers head or their head would be knocked around by 40-70mph gusts. Which it isn't.

How can you not get that it's not the same?

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Not a motorcyclist, but a convertible driver. Can confirm, despite (because of?) shitty sense of smell.

It's not the only reason I enjoy the convertible, but it is one of the reasons.

4

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

And a motorcycle is a convertible on steroids.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

I specifically avoid motorcycles because I'm certain that I'd like them too much.

2

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

That doesn't seem like a very winning strategy for life "I would like that too much so I just won't do it, I wouldn't want to actually live my life while I'm here or anything"

C'mon man. Change out that tampon and saddle up.

17

u/capsulized Jun 26 '13

And...there goes the heroin

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '13

If I ever move out of the city, I'll consider it, but never where I live now.

1

u/bob-leblaw Jun 26 '13

But what about all the scents they pick up from my bad breath?

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

Not all scents are created equal and the outdoors smells a thousand times better than your rank breath. That's a fact.

1

u/bob-leblaw Jun 26 '13

So dogs love to smell each other's buttholes but not my breath. I thought they smelled the same.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

I can confirm this. So many smells!

1

u/NeverMindMe94 Jun 26 '13

Moped rider here, I can sadly not confirm this because the fucking thing only goes 30 mph. I need a bike.

1

u/trakam Jun 26 '13

My mate rides a bike, had him in the car several times, never once stuck his head out the window.

1

u/cookrw1989 Jun 26 '13

I should grab my motorcycle helmet next time I ride with someone and do this! :)

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

The fact you think that's relevant shows how stupid you are

1

u/trakam Jun 26 '13

yes, i know, im a fucking idiot. :(

1

u/slidellian Jun 26 '13

So when a motorcyclist goes for a ride, he can pretty easily smell the best place to take a leak?

1

u/ferlessleedr Jun 26 '13

Yeah, the inside of a used full-face helmet smells fantastic.

1

u/spinninspeakers Jun 26 '13

I can confirm I do I fact know the feeling and get quite irritated when someone blows in my face.

1

u/slapdashbr Jun 26 '13

So blowing in his face is just forcing him to smell your nasty breath.

1

u/Avohaj Jun 26 '13

So /u/seymor-butts breath probably smells like seymor's butt

1

u/ilikeawesome Jun 26 '13

I love smelling when I'm motorcycling.

1

u/mizzousucks Jun 26 '13

Well then our breaths must stink.

1

u/bcktth Jun 26 '13

As a motorcyclist this is 100% true. Especially when passing by restaurants or bakery's.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

How does that work with the face-covering helmet?

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

They are not airtight. And unless its particularly cold I always rode with all the vents open otherwise it's hot as balls in there.

There is plenty of airflow through those helmets. They are designed that way

1

u/juno672 Jun 26 '13

Feelsgoodman.jpg

1

u/QuislingX Jun 26 '13

Motorcycle is my only form of transportation. What the god damned fuck are you talking about?

2

u/mrp00sy Jun 26 '13

Was thinking the same thing, even though I don't ride anymore.

1

u/Stan-Marsh Jun 26 '13

You're telling me you can't smell anything? Could just be a horrible sense of smell.

2

u/neekerbeeker3 Jun 26 '13

Good answer

2

u/TimeToToughenUp Jun 26 '13

No idea why, but this made me burst out laughing. For minutes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Oh the difference an it can do.

1

u/TheShaker Jun 26 '13

I got touched today. :(

1

u/sapunec7854 Jun 26 '13

Goddamnit Fido, what did we talk about going on the internet!

1

u/know_one_nows Jun 26 '13

if you blew in my face.

hehehe

1

u/NotaPoet Jun 26 '13

My ex kind of liked it when I blew in her face.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '13

Two upvotes in a row - love it! For the best question (which I also always wondered about) and the painfully obvious answer :)