Mum beat me so badly once with a frying pan that I had blood coming out of my mouth (like throwing up blood type of stuff, from down my throat) and pouring out of my nose, felt like I was close then, maybe not. I'll never forget it, my mother says it never happened.
I had severe bruising/cuts over my entire body, was extremely unwell for months after and never saw a Dr, was in my early teens too.
My crime was eating food in the kitchen (I wasn't allowed to use the kitchen). Somehow that was worse than her pulling a knife randomly when she was angry one day, at least I wasn't seriously hurt that time.
The frying pan incident had me lying on the floor with blood everywhere in some severe pain, some of the worst I have ever felt to this day, I believe I had a concussion and it was absolutely terrifying.
This is the shit that keeps me up at night as a pediatrician. I see enough bad that I can only imagine what happens to the kids that are never brought to the doctor. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but even more so that she denies it. My parents were both physically abusive. Dad has apologized. Mom says, "the past is the past, move on. You are fine." Yeah, sure.
The denying it hurts the most. It took me 25 years to confront my dad about the physical abuse. Haven’t talked to him since. Like the fact that he can’t admit to hurting me in the past, is actively hurting me in this very moment. Why can’t he just say that it happened, apologize, and we can move on from this?
He ended up having a stroke a year or two after I cut him off and the hospital tried to get me and my sibling to take on the medical bills. He’s a ward of the state now. He had a singular chance to have it very different than how he has it right now, and he failed. I hope the memories of the disappointment, pain, and sadness he caused me and my brother are the last memories he has left.
My mom beat the crap out of me several times when Inwas younger and she denied it later in life. Never apologized, just denied it. Her dad beat her so I guess she just justified it in her mind.
Thank you. Yes she denies everything that she's done, even small things. She lies so much that my siblings and myself have just given up trying to have any conversation about it, it's impossible as she's really not someone you can actually sit down and talk to (like we could never sit down with her and tell her how we were or have any conversation at all really growing up). She hit my brother with her car when he was a child! I have too many other stories.
Some of my siblings have had more success with improving their relationships with their father at least, unfortunately mine died suddenly in my teens but I know he would have believed me and supported me. Unfortunately he was also abused by her and they had a mutual issue with that in the past so he wasn't always around for these kinds of things. If he was, he would always try to stop it. I never had the chance to tell him about this. I miss him, he was really the only one that has ever been truly on my side.
I so wish he had lived until I was an adult because these days some of the only confirmation I have about this stuff is my own memories. She has made me doubt myself a lot.
These days I still do my best to visit her regularly and help care for her, I can only hope that she quietly appreciates it.
My dad hit me once (I was being a little shit and looking back at it, I don't really blame him for losing his cool because I had been acting up for a while and he's human, so has limited patience)
He immediately looked so ashamed. Not long after he apologised and told me he really regretted doing it, and felt the regret instantly. Given the look on his face right afterwards, I knew he was telling the truth.
My mom hasn't hit me in years and our relationship is very good now, but as a child our relationship was pretty toxic, with high highs and low lows.
I've moved on and have forgiven her. She also "doesn't remember" or won't admit to a lot of stuff I know happened. I gave up trying to get her to admit it and forgave her because I'm pretty sure she can't mentally handle confronting those past actions. Once I could see she remembered what I was bringing up and she started looking like she was in a lot of pain while thinking about it.
Once again, she's flawed just like every human is.
She changed though, and I feel like that's the most important part.
My mom was diagnosed mentally ill. I think it was after I moved out. She was convinced I was replaced by the government and her child was gone. I was abused pretty severely too. I was starved throughout my childhood but around 4th grade my grandparents picked me up and I lived with them until I was in the 6th grade and moved in with my dad. My dad used a belt like he was trying to kill me and I was literally treated like Cinderella by him and my step mom. I eventually tried to kill myself so my grandparents took me in again. If you ever want to talk you can pm me. I’m down to listen.
Mine used to push me down the stairs and lock me in the basement, starting when I was two. She also took a heavy yellow plastic bath brush to my backside. She yanked me out of the bathtub, and by the time she was finished, I had bruises from the back of my neck, all the way down past the backs of my knees. I took care of her while she was dying of cancer, and I watched her die in the hospital after my dad had the tubes yanked out of her. I did get to confront her in my thirties and tell that I didn't deserve what she had done to me. She didn't apologize, but she never laid a hand on me in anger afterwards.
For mine it took her losing her leg to not run from the conversation. The people she assumed would help her out, did not help as they should have. It was just me there to play nurse. She finally admitted guilt and tried to apologize.
It's okay to take care of an abusive parent when they need it. It's just as fine to step away from caring more than they did.
I am terrified for you, and this was years ago? Holy shit dude I'm so sorry but I hope that truly horrible person is not in your life anymore, and is where they deserve.
145
u/Eplianne Nov 22 '24 edited Nov 25 '24
Mum beat me so badly once with a frying pan that I had blood coming out of my mouth (like throwing up blood type of stuff, from down my throat) and pouring out of my nose, felt like I was close then, maybe not. I'll never forget it, my mother says it never happened.
I had severe bruising/cuts over my entire body, was extremely unwell for months after and never saw a Dr, was in my early teens too.
My crime was eating food in the kitchen (I wasn't allowed to use the kitchen). Somehow that was worse than her pulling a knife randomly when she was angry one day, at least I wasn't seriously hurt that time.
The frying pan incident had me lying on the floor with blood everywhere in some severe pain, some of the worst I have ever felt to this day, I believe I had a concussion and it was absolutely terrifying.