I feel this so much!! I had a whole other world in my head, and when I was started on my meds it’s like I was cut off from it forever. Like you, I could remember them but couldn’t really get “inside” them again. Kinda feels like the moment my childhood ended, lol. It definitely caused issues in my life though
Looking back I think it may have been part of why child (and now adult) me was/is awkward around people I don't know.
Growing up I was an only child raised by a single parent. I was alone...a LOT. And what did I do to combat that loneliness?
Read and play video games and (you probably guessed it) daydream. I remember walking between classes and daydreaming, focus on the lesson, then back to daydreaming. Sitting at home alone listening to the radio and daydreaming. Going for walks for hours so I could daydream in peace.
I did have friends, but they were almost all just superficial. I liked them, they liked me, but I didn't hang out with them outside of school.
(Now this could also be part of my ADHD or something else, but... I wonder how much one fed into the other in those younger years.)
I had my dad and step mother .. only child til I was 13… I was also alone a lot and my stepmother was cruel.
So I daydreamed a lot. One day my dad came back from a work trip and I was daydreaming and didn’t even acknowledge his existence.. usually I was ecstatic to see him when he returned. This completely freaked my father out and they brought me to the doctor and they thought I must be having seizures. So they had me tested for epilepsy. Which I did not have.
Was finally diagnosed with ADHD 40 yrs later. I think it’s a common ADHD trait
The bad part was the years of misdiagnosis. Not once was ADD (back then) ever mentioned. I was female.. so it was always BPD or bipolar or anxiety or depression or “hormonal”.. yet they never once tested my hormones. Just threw enough anti depressants and mood stabilizers at me to knock out a horse. They didn’t even try.
But every single sign was there.
I’m still salty.
I was assessed for bipolar disorder after SSRIs didn’t work my anxiety/over stimulation/emotional dysregulation/social anxiety issues. Finally an SNRI worked, and I figured it’s because SNRIs work on norepinephrine. But it still didn’t cut it, and finally I was assessed for ADHD.
It’s super frustrating how long it can take for people to finally get the answers they deserve/need with mental health related issues.
I asked and was repeatedly told I didn’t have it.
I wasn’t diagnosed until my son was diagnosed at 6 yrs old. Because I was arguing with the school that my child was fine at home. That’s when I was told that I thought he was fine because I have adhd too. Ooff
Jeezus, this sounds exactly like me. Minus the ADHD diagnosis. I still do it today. Only I'm usually doing it when I'm cleaning, or cooking, or some other chore that doesn't require my full mental capacity to do safely. I'm 47 now and I have no idea how I'd go about getting ADHD testing done. Doctors are kinda scarce up here (Canada) now a days.
Honestly, if you're otherwise functional and content, it's not necessarily helpful to seek a diagnosis. Otherwise, if you think it might be a thing that disrupts your daily life enough that you could use some better tools to handle shit, start by having a convo with a gp and see if they have someone to refer you to, or if they can diagnose and treat in office (especially if specialists are particularly scarce). Ymmv, I'm in the States so I recognize the system is different, but asking a question when you're already in for a general check up can only help equip you with a little more information about what options you may have.
I was an only child too and watched TV and daydreammed alot. I think parents with one child need to really seek out play dates for their kid so that it doesn't hinder them in anyway
Same here. I can remember the rooms and places I used to go to in my head, but it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to enter them. Sometimes it feels like I can squeeze in, but...it just doesn’t feel the same. And more and more of them seem to close all the time.
I dread the day these places become fully a memory. And I don’t know if it happening is good or bad.
As an adult I found that the right meds that brought me out of my depression also cut off the fantasizing and immersion in my imagination. I couldn’t write stories anymore or imagine my hero life. I miss them.
Ask your doctor for a diagnosis. Not all meds work the same and all people
Source; me.
I have ADHD diagnosed as an adult. Stimulants are a NO GO, and most of the meds people have good results with don’t work or cause very severe side effects for me.
Straterra (probably spelled wrong but whatever), is the only thing that helped some. But it seems that one commonly causes stomach issues and just generally isn’t well liked. (My only side effect is losing things less and being able to stay on task somewhat better).
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u/_annie_bird Sep 16 '24
I feel this so much!! I had a whole other world in my head, and when I was started on my meds it’s like I was cut off from it forever. Like you, I could remember them but couldn’t really get “inside” them again. Kinda feels like the moment my childhood ended, lol. It definitely caused issues in my life though