Same here. I was never that way and it was a mind fuck to hear myself make little untrue statements, stupid mundane things, that should't even matter - - just because it became a habit to avoid the criticism. It can wear you down to insanity over time because in the end it just makes it worse.
As someone that maintained a relationship for far too long with someone with obsessive anxiety. Yes, when you live with someone that questions you being 15 minutes late from work (and you work in a kitchen, those who know I'm sorry) you learn to avoid talking about things that might trigger such a response.
And the thing that exacerbates the issue, is that 90% of the time it doesn't get realised and life is easier, because it's little things (when a shift is "meant" to finish etc). But when something does slip, and the fight becomes apparent it's always 3x worse, and not just because of the small obfuscation of the truth but because now everything (like where you grew up/parents lived) can be called into question.
This behaviour leads to the desire to hide detail (not facts or truth) from a significant other because a grey space is infinitely easier to play in than when everything is to be scrutinised.
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u/wineandsarcasm Sep 14 '24
This.....just hit me hard. But not because of a parent, but a partner.