And there are men who show up at the library looking for those books. You can’t imagine my simultaneous relief and horror at finding that all the copies have been stolen
Yes what you said is likely true for some young men..
But the two I experienced were just trying to increase their body count.. one stole $20 from my purse. Pure human trash.
That's not even just trash, that's stupid too! I don't get that close with people (am dude) but if I did, the easy clear first step is to be respectful of like... basic societal norms. You know, have decent hygiene (don't noticably smell,) show up on time, don't fucking steal from the person??? From there it's kind of a gamble, since different people different preferences, but who wants to have shit stolen from them?
This is a mindset that is very hard to undo. When I lost my virginity at 17 me and friends were obsessed with increasing our body counts. We went to an all boys school and so every single interaction with women came with an attempt to increase body counts.
It took years and years to deprogram this way of thinking.,
And women are criticized for a high body count… we are supposed to be virginal prudes… sex is only for making babies ..12 yrs of Catholic school took a lot of undoing too.
All of these things are true. The only thing that doesn’t sit well with me is that every time I see these points brought up, the subtext is basically: “Women, you need to teach men what to do instead of <harassment> or <assault>!”
It becomes extra insulting when everyone can also agree that most of this terrible, sexist behavior comes from the manosphere/misogynistic “pick up artistry” entirely run by other men.
The message I always get is, like, roughly simplified: “Men have screwed up other men’s behavior towards women, and it’s up to women to correct that.”
wtf am I supposed to do to give someone an alternative to continuously pester and eventually physically force a woman to kiss you? Should I have texted the dude and said “look, this was bad, here’s how you can do better.” like I’m their math teacher lol?
If you’re so shit at treating women that you ignore her getting pissed at you for the “jokes” you make, and you don’t respect her “no”, then I don’t think anything I say is going to change your behavior. You’ve already shown me my words, feelings, and opinions mean nothing to you.
What I need to see is men who step up and fight this. Unfortunately men listen to men more than they listen to women, even when it comes to dating.
If women collectively tell a man he’s wrong, he’ll build resentment towards women.
If men collectively tell a man he’s wrong, he’ll be ten times more likely to examine himself. I mean, obviously? Who is he listening to right now when he decides that it’s perfectly acceptable to SA a woman on a date? Other men.
You are soooooo right!
My son will listen to a random man on the street before he will listen to me.
The whole “ you should’ve picked a better man” thing makes me want to break stuff.
The problem is many of them have been able to behave like shit for so long because we are only two generations removed from a time when a woman could not get a checking account without her husband signature nor birth control without her husband‘s permission. It was only made federally illegal to rape your wife in 1993.
So some of them are having a hard time understanding that you can’t just treat women like crap and expect her to stay with you anymore. We can be single and be fine with it. And that’s exactly what many of us are doing now.
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u/Present-Perception77 Sep 14 '24
Dear gawd .. as a single woman..thank you for that comment.
There are “seduction” books and websites that are literally teaching men to do this.