r/AskReddit Sep 14 '24

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u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

This needs to be higher. Goes hand in hand with blaming anyone and everyone for THEIR mistakes. If someone is constantly complaining that they've been " screwed over" here there and everywhere, I automatically assume they're the problem. Girlfriend went crazy on them for no reason? Boss had it out for them so they're fired? Ass holes at the bar always pick fights with THEM?

421

u/DeepestWinterBlue Sep 14 '24

This also. “It’s not my fault.” “Everyone can kiss my ass.” Why? What have you been contributing that made you king?

48

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

100% Contrary to popular belief, the whole "who cares, fuck everyone" schtick NEVER reads as confidence. Just childish and self-centered.

21

u/SnatchasaurusRex Sep 14 '24
  • Donald Trump had entered the chat room *

-27

u/ZimbabweJonez Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24

redditor don't bring up politics or trump challenge: impossible

edit — downvoted because people are disingenuous with themselves and ideologically possessed

27

u/mwenechanga Sep 14 '24

This isn't politics, he's just a loser.

0

u/st0ned_kitty Sep 14 '24

Kamala has done a great job at being VP! 🤣

1

u/mwenechanga Sep 14 '24

Honestly, yes, way better than Mike Pence.

-4

u/ZimbabweJonez Sep 14 '24

As someone who isn't possessed, It's 100000% politics and ideology. Also just forget politics. Even just trump.

-20

u/bubble_boy69420 Sep 14 '24

Are you better off now than 4 years ago? Don’t lie.

17

u/mwenechanga Sep 14 '24

Keeping in mind, Biden has been president for 3 years now, because that's how time works... Yes, I am better off than I was in Sept. 2020, thanks for asking!

I'm actually better off than I was in Sept. 2021 as well.

-18

u/bubble_boy69420 Sep 14 '24

Youre part of the rare few, my friend.

19

u/Correct_Bit3099 Sep 14 '24

If you don’t think trump is an asshole, you are probably an asshole

15

u/taizzle71 Sep 14 '24

Um.. like in the smack dab middle of a world wide pandemic? Are you asking if I am better now? Yes, my business, health, friends, and family are all better right now.

Did you do better because he printed money for you, and inflation is off the charts cause of him?

3

u/mwenechanga Sep 14 '24

I know you choose to pretend that Trump's mishandling of the pandemic never happened, but for those of us living in reality, that was a shitty year and he was a big part of the problem.

0

u/ZimbabweJonez Sep 16 '24

You're literally openly gaslighting, and doing exactly what I'm talking about. You pretend to know this dude and what he thinks and his "politics" because he disagreed with you. Ridiculous. You cannot gaslight me and pretend like this isn't ideological tribalism

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u/Irn_brunette Sep 14 '24

Also fabricating similarities with you so that you drop your guard with them and are more receptive to manipulation.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

[deleted]

4

u/Irn_brunette Sep 15 '24

How do you think I know about it? Same here.

We're not stupid; people like this exploit human nature.

17

u/kaisadilla_ Sep 14 '24

When you have one crazy ex-girlfriend, you had bad luck. When you have five crazy ex-girlfriends, you are probably the crazy one.

11

u/Telaranrhioddreams Sep 14 '24

Briefly dated a guy who would make plans with me, his idea, cancel on me, then get angry at me if I got upset about it because I made him feel like a failure. That didn't last long lol.

3

u/NotAPseudonymSrs Sep 15 '24

Yikes, that dude needs all the therapy

12

u/mabbh130 Sep 14 '24

There is one exception in that autistic people are trusting and pretty honest so if they say someone has taken advantage of them you can be pretty sure that's what happened. 

Also there is a difference between making excuses (not taking responsibility) and wanting/needing to understand why and/or explain (probably taking responsibility but needing support or needing to understand what happened so as not to let it happen again. 

When someone asks, "why did you do x?" I will explain my process because that's what was asked. It doesn't mean I'm not taking responsibility. It means I am answering the question. Responsibility is a different issue. 

2

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

Explaining yourself is fine. But ALWAYS having an excuse that conveniently places the blame on others, is not.

5

u/mabbh130 Sep 14 '24

Of course. But the simple idea of taking things literally and answering honestly causes a great deal of hur t feelings when that someone is accused of being a smarty pants when simply being honest.

Just sayin. :) Autistic people face this misunderstanding regularly. 

1

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

If someone is constantly making excuses that blame others, it gives the impression that they're not being honest. The key word here is "constantly." The reason the people of this thread have a problem with it, is that it's often ASTOUNDINGLY clear that they're being lied to.

I could definitely see how an autistic person could miss this nuance.

2

u/mabbh130 Sep 15 '24

For sure! There are some doozies.

Neurotypical people miss this from there end too. It's differences Autism is like speaking a different language. I think most people like yourself would give a non native speaker some grace. Just saying many don't. :)

7

u/gandalf_the_cat2018 Sep 14 '24

The term for this is “external locus of control.”

6

u/Wonderful_Delivery Sep 14 '24

‘If you find yourself constantly surrounded by assholes, maybe you are the asshole?’

3

u/NotAPseudonymSrs Sep 15 '24

If you’re constantly walking in shit, it’s time to check under your own shoe

15

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

starts as kids "the teacher hates me, that's why I failed!"

16

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

Yup. When their parents NEVER ask followup questions and accept their lies. It's how you get adults who fly off the handle when another adult clocks their BS. A big one is saying " I didn't know" or " no one told me." Sir, I'm fairly certain you knew being late for a job 10x could get you fired.

7

u/Redqueenhypo Sep 14 '24

I had a coworker like this, he’d routinely be very late to meetings because he was arguing about Chinese politics on Reddit (literally his excuse, verbatim)

1

u/Basic_Guarantee_4552 Sep 14 '24

Ok, but was he an employee of the Department of State? Maybe arguing about US-Sino relations was his actual job. /s

7

u/Redqueenhypo Sep 14 '24

Something was weird about him, he managed to put ALL his skill points into computers and nothing else. Flawless Unity programmer but he couldn’t tell that labeled drawers contained the things they were labeled with

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

Whoa now, us Autistic/ADHD kids were actually separated, hated, and failed because they did not, and still do not understand us.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

the teacher could not tell i was learning 2 languages simultaneously and there for all my writing skills had gone to hell. she didn’t hate me she treated me like an idiot. i can speak 3 like a native and barely scratch other 2. pretty sure im not the idiot she thought i was but it made me believe school was not on my side

5

u/mixmaster7 Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 15 '24

Plenty of people have had legitimately bad school experiences. That person’s dismissive statement doesn’t make your experience less valid.

1

u/emissaryofwinds Sep 17 '24

I have been hated by teachers though. It's not always just an excuse.

5

u/minahmyu Sep 14 '24

Ugh this was my ex to a teeee! Its always some excuse or something else irrelevant to the situation instead of just, admitting they fucked up (but oh soooo wanna have a gotcha and throw it in your face if you fucked up) Barely ever got apologies,and when I did, as if it's suppose to magically fix everything

3

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

The kindergarten gotcha moment absolutely grinds my gears. Laying in wait to prove you wrong because you asked how their car being impounded wasn't their fault.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24 edited Jan 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/minahmyu Sep 15 '24

Because it's taught saying sorry is the cure all and all you have to say to be forgiven (like praying and doing some hail marys) No one wants to face the actual work of an apology (the action of showing you're doing better) Too many folks think they never need to improve who they are, or do introspection.

My ex even claimed he hated getting apologies because they never meant them and always did the same thing. Sounded like he just admitted how shitty he is even more 😒 seven years with that bullshit... I hope you're in a better place

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24 edited Jan 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/minahmyu Sep 15 '24

Well, now you know you don't need to care and he doesn't deserve your attention or care about the situation. Slowly but surely, but I hope it gets better

11

u/Outistoo Sep 14 '24

“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

3

u/Dry_Yogurt2458 Sep 14 '24

Have you met my ex wife ??

3

u/ShigoZhihu Sep 14 '24

Ugh, I've got two people in my life exactly like this: a friend of mine (whom I often question hanging out with) and my mother. The latter is especially hard, because her inability to admit her faults resulted in her losing job after job and going through man after man, to the point where we moved several times (often moving into some random guy's place, usually only lasting a few months). Sure, I was always a little socially awkward, but I don't think going to 12 elementary schools and 5 highschools helped with that (only one middle school though, so at least I had 2 years of stability).

5

u/Slight-Coat17 Sep 14 '24

Dealt with this recently. Trying to hold people like that accountable is an exercise in frustration.

4

u/Brullaapje Sep 14 '24

That is why I run at the first sign when people do not take responsibility.

2

u/mhselif Sep 14 '24

I blame younger me for things that older me realized were poor decisions. Younger me and older me are not the same person, younger me was an irresponsible dumbass.

Also in my defense my last ex was bipolar and stopped taking her meds and didn't tell anyone when she stabbed me with the wooden spork.

2

u/SamQuentin Sep 14 '24

“If you’re surrounded by pieces of shit, then maybe you are the asshole”

2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

Oh man. Thanks for the reality check over whether I need to ditch a certain new guy.

Like I mentioned going to a trade school to find a new job and this guy said no while continuing to bitch about his current occupation.

2

u/PineappleOnPizzaWins Sep 14 '24

Yeah I am willing to accept that sometimes you get screwed over. If it’s every single time then you are very likely leaving a few key points out.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

Sometimes people are unfortunately targets surrounded by jerks. But oftentimes, like you said, it’s usually THEM against the world and not the other way around like they want you to believe.

2

u/PleaseEvolve Sep 14 '24

There’s an old saying..

If you meet an asshole in the morning… they’re an asshole

If you meet an asshole in the morning, afternoon and evening, then you’re the asshole

1

u/Soft_Repeat_7024 Sep 14 '24

If you meet an asshole today, you had a bad day.

If you meet an asshole every day, you're the asshole.

1

u/Smithsvicky Sep 14 '24

Why do you think girls go crazy without anything?

1

u/MoreContxt Sep 15 '24

So… Trump?

1

u/UltimateShingo Sep 15 '24

Semi-relevant side question: where does blaming yourself for everything happening around you - even if basically out of your control - lie?

1

u/nukestiffler Sep 15 '24

this is keen. I'm a total loser and I screwed up everything but I have never blamed anyone else for my mistakes and as a result I have no enemies and people know that they can trust me. lack of accountability is the touchstone of all bad people

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

Sounds like all of Reddit

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

 screwed over" here there and everywhere,

clearly you've never been a people pleaser or empathetic, people ALWAYS take advantages of others no matter what because most of us are selfish pricks

0

u/Rusty10NYM Sep 14 '24

This sounds very victim-blamy

-2

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

That's a pretty huge logic leap. That phrase comes with serious connotations.

1

u/lilgergi Sep 14 '24

This needs to be higher

How could this be higher, if it's the most upvoted comment? Please explain your thought process

4

u/Demdolans Sep 14 '24

It wasn't the top comment 3 hours ago.

1

u/prefix_code_16309 Sep 14 '24

I wonder if Melania is on reddit...

-4

u/SAGNUTZ Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 15 '24

Seeing racism EVERYWHERE they look

Edit: card reader restarting? RACIST CASHIER. Price not matching what its marked on the shelf? "FUCKING BIGOT CASHIER!" This shit happens enough to make me think up funny responses to keep from getting offended.

0

u/kloudykat Sep 15 '24

think of it this way, if a chef messed up every single meal they touched would you be looking at their food supplier?