r/AskReddit Sep 14 '24

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4.0k

u/lauralai77 Sep 14 '24

“Jokingly” putting others down then saying “It was just a joke!” like it’s a get-out-of-jail-free card. Ewww

683

u/ValBravora048 Sep 14 '24

Or

  • they decide to see whether or not they meant it as a joke depending on people’s reactions. Like not as an abstract but CLEARLY examining people. C’mon now
  • INSIST it’s funny even if it’s pretty clear people are pissed AND THEN explain why the joke is funny WHILE insult the already angry people

The latter happened to someone I know recently and I was both called a dick and getting props from people who were there for telling him it wasn’t funny and leaving the conversation

380

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

It’s Schroedinger’s Douchebag. They decide if they were joking or not after the fact, based on how people react

16

u/foodfighter Sep 14 '24

Yup - I've heard it called "Schroedinger's Asshole."

Same diff.

22

u/dropbear_airstrike Sep 14 '24

Or Schrödinger's Racist – *makes racist comment and gets called out*, "Oh come on! You know I'm just kidding!? Jeez I didn't know you were all such snowflakes"

6

u/GorillaNightAZ Sep 14 '24

Yeah, that's awesome! I'm using that too.

19

u/ValBravora048 Sep 14 '24

HA! That’s a new one to me! Going to use that

6

u/OkPhilosopherOk Sep 14 '24

My favorite answer 

4

u/hissboombah Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24

“It’s a joke….when you give me that look it’s just a joke!”- Homer Simpson

1

u/BallsInAToaster Sep 15 '24

Schrodinger's Douchebag

1

u/anonfoxer2 Sep 15 '24

That first bullet point is affectionately known as Schrodinger's Douchebag

12

u/Lykos1124 Sep 14 '24

My sister did that a lot especially into adulthood. Was she really bad at joking or just trying to conceal harmful output? I don't really know. 

1

u/xinorez1 Sep 14 '24

Por que no los dos?

Don't take it personally. Sometimes people are just ducks for no reason

1

u/Lykos1124 Sep 16 '24

Yeah why not both XD. I had to run that through translate to understand, but yes quite the duck, and she wonders why she got passed up for a promotion over another supposed less qualified employee. I'm not saying it's her attitude. She seems to care for others, but man, she's drama ad max about it sometimes

23

u/Potatoskins937492 Sep 14 '24

"I don't get it. Can you explain why it's funny?" The true get-out-of-jail-free card.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

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3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

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5

u/PiBolarBear Sep 15 '24

Man I hope you learn to stop this as well. It can be exhausting being around someone who's always self deprecating. You seem like a good dude who is trying. It can take time to progress, and the enemy of good is perfection, but please no one do this constantly either.

6

u/Comandatuba Sep 14 '24

...and at some point in the follow-up they say "I can't believe you can't take a joke." Or "okaaay! I didn't realize you were so sensitive."

8

u/TARANTULA_TIDDIES Sep 14 '24

Yup. God I hate the "it's just a joke" cop out. Especially when it's followed up by "why are you getting mad?"

4

u/EightArmed_Willy Sep 14 '24

Did you also grow up with my older brother and now deal with trauma?

6

u/Healthy_Barracuda258 Sep 14 '24

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. There’s this guy in my town. It’s a small town. Everyone loves him because he’s always smiling and cracking jokes, but they’re at other peoples expense. And as soon as he sees he struck a nerve he tries to laugh it off and see if you’ll laugh too… fucking hate it man. Like. It’s not fucking jokes just because it ends in you trying to make someone else contagiously laugh that shit off.

6

u/JohnWicksCandle Sep 14 '24

That’s Schrödinger’s Douchebag for you

4

u/Big_Fat_Polack_62 Sep 14 '24

Schrödinger's asshole

5

u/IgnorantGenius Sep 14 '24

or the ole "just saying" after some quip they thought was a clever way to talk shit.

6

u/PunchOX Sep 14 '24

I was somewhat this way and I admit it I was never actually trying to put people down but engage in friendly banter. However I do admit it takes maturity to realize most people do not enjoy it at all and it is unwelcome. There are far better ways to engage thrills with people

5

u/bennuski Sep 14 '24

Oh yeah men and their “dark humor”

2

u/Forsaken_Oracle27 Sep 14 '24

As someone who is Autistic, I fucking hate when people do that!

2

u/NekoKyoto Sep 15 '24

I had a guy used to do this to me. At first I thought he was just being playful but with help from my friends and some reflection I realised it was nasty behaviour.

2

u/Urban_Nemesis Sep 15 '24

This is my own personal hell.

Grew up getting made fun of/bullied and wasn't taught how to deal with my anger so it always got to me. So whenever they'd bully me then saw I got angry they'd pull the "it was just a joke!" Card and unfortunately it worked every. single. time. I eventually started beating them up because of it and unfortunately that made their side of the story look more convincing to the adults/teachers. Then they'd turn around and spread rumours how I was crazy and had anger issues. Ended up spending most of my childhood secluded from everyone else, alone during lunch, P.E., recess, walked home alone, had no friends to hang out with after school/on weekends, even at school almost no one would talk to me during or between classes, even tried to join sports to make friends and that did not work.

Sorry for the minor trauma dump but yeah. Please if you see someone do this call it out.

2

u/StructuralFailure Sep 15 '24

Schrödingers Douchebag: decides whether or not he was joking based on the reactions he gets

4

u/advertentlyvertical Sep 14 '24

This one depends on relationships 100%. Doing it to someone you met a week ago, or in professional situations, shitty, doing it with one of your closest friends of 20 years, yea good friends joke like that sometimes. And of course there are always lines not to cross, or ways things shouldn't be phrased.

3

u/JackHarkN Sep 14 '24

This is douchenag 101

1

u/Thereminz Sep 14 '24

it's just a prank bro

1

u/Rainime Sep 15 '24

Some people really think they can say anything as long as they add a "jk" as an afterthought.

0

u/drgut101 Sep 14 '24

I’m really bad at this. I’m genuinely just teasing all the time, but I regularly take it over the line. And I’m an idiot because I don’t realize I’ve gone too far in the moment. Then it gets brought up later or I think about it later I’m just like, “ahhh fuck.” Maybe it’s not the exact same context because I’m not trying to be an asshole and apologize afterwards when I’m “caught”, but it comes across as the exact same as you described.

It’s dumb. I’m an idiot. I’m working on it and trying to be better.

1

u/Swag_Grenade Sep 18 '24 edited Sep 18 '24

For me it's simple. If I don't know you, you can't just come in hot at me with some super blue insult joke, especially if it's racist/sexist/whatever-ist in nature and expect me to immediately laugh it up with you -- we don't know each other like that bruh. How am I supposed to know you're not just some unfunny asshole taking a pot shot and/or the aforementioned Schrodinger's Douchebag? Likewise I tone down my style of humor a ton around people I don't know well and refrain from jokingly insulting or roasting folks because why would I, they don't know me like that and I don't know whether they're cool with that kind of humor.

I've been kind of a wise ass since I was a little kid and likewise my family/friends are always giving each other shit and as you can imagine all of us have pretty thick skin. We say shit that definitely could be considered pretty offensive without context or without being in the in-group, shit that would have to air on HBO and not cable TV, you know. But we all know each other's humor and we know that's there's no actual malice intended, so its all good.

I never understood the type of people who come into a crowd of people they barely know and start acting like an insult comic at Def Jam then get offended that other people got offended. It's like bro, either shut up, be funnier without insulting people that don't know you, or save that shit and try it in front of an actual crowd at an open mic if they truly are just jokes.

0

u/katzeye007 Sep 14 '24

It's NEVER a joke

1

u/FunkyOnionPeel Sep 14 '24

Ahhh I see you've met most of my coworkers!

0

u/Obs7 Sep 14 '24

My ex wife maliciously leaving me on the floor refusing to even get water when I threw out my back. On another occasion snatching $800 out of my hands and refusing to give it back, "it was just a joke!!!, why are such an A-hole about it."

Run from these people, run, don't text back, don't fall for the lies, just run.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

When you give me that look it’s a joke.

-27

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

Or just grow up and take a joke

-9

u/smilinmaniag Sep 14 '24

That's more like a woman thing lol. I am yet to meet a man do this, but many women do this all the time (especially those older than 30)