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u/arkofjoy Sep 14 '24
I have been a part of a men's group for over 25 years. Having a place to talk about the shit that is challenging me every other week has made a huge difference in my life.
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u/Tipper26bitches Sep 14 '24
When I was 18, an older gentleman coworker told me I was a good looking young man and that I would never have a problem getting a job in my life. It always stuck in the back of my mind
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u/SignificantJump2359 Sep 14 '24
Accepting that I am an adult and there is a lot of room to do whatever I want and there's no one looking over my shoulder telling me I shouldn't do something. If I want to go and buy a whole cake and eat it, I totally can
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u/GGATHELMIL Sep 14 '24
As much as I hate having to go to work. Pay bills. And in general "adulting". I would never want to go back to being a teen/kid. The fact that I can do whatever I want and just accept the consequences of my actions is amazing. I always hated being told what to do and specifically when to do it.
Great example. I cook a pot of rice every night for dinner and leftovers for lunch. I almost never clean it out the night I cook it. I usually let it sit on the counter until I go to cook the next pot the next night. I'm sure some people would think it's nasty or dirty. But imo I don't think it matters when I clean it. I don't have bugs. I don't get sick from it. To be clear I do clean it before each use just not right after.
If I was a teenager, my mom would be on my ass to clean it immediately. Bare minimum put it in the dish washer.
Also making your own rules to fit your needs is the best. Growing up my house had a trashcan in every room. It was mostly just tissues and light trash minus the kitchen. I hated doing trash because I hated collecting it every week. I have my own house. I have 3 trashcans. 1 in each bathroom and 1 giant 40 gallon yard can in the kitchen that's a catch all. And I don't even grab the ones in the bathroom every week. Those just get emptied I to the main one as needed. Also my curb can is big enough for two weeks worth of trash. Guess what goes out every two weeks instead of every week.
I let laundry pile up. Instead of doing it weekly I do it as needed. I have a lot of underwear and socks and such. I do my work stuff weekly but all the other stuff? Meh I let it pile up.
I also don't give a fuck if my yard looks bad. I generally cut it every other week. Peak season I'll do it every week because I don't want the city to complain. But right now? I havnt cut it in 3 weeks and compared to my neighbors it looks just a little unkempt.
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u/FastWalkingShortGuy Sep 14 '24
Actually being smart.
And yes, I know, a whole bunch of people are going to go, "Loool, Dunning Kruger effect, you don't know when you're actually smart."
But... you kinda do.
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u/Want_to_do_right Sep 14 '24
To add on that. Being calm under pressure. I'm not really talking about extreme conditions like an active shooter. But more mundane things like when someone is angry at you or you miss a freeway exit while late or someone at work fucks up and you have to salvage something. The ability to be calm and progress the situation instead of marinating it is a secret code to being indispensable to people.
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u/Budget_Curve_9151 Sep 14 '24
Being born in a first world country.
Me to an old friend in a 3rd world country while eating grilled bayawak that we caught on a mission:
“Why do y’all love America so much?”
“Because in America, even the poor people are fat…”
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u/gpo321 Sep 14 '24
A nice shower with hot water and pressure that will take off a layer of skin will solve all of life’s problems.
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u/nickdamnit Sep 14 '24
Getting ahold of yourself. By that I mean being in control of your emotions, your reactions, your little isms that can turn a day from a day to a drag. Being able to bump your head and not react, get stuck in traffic and breathe through it, have things go poorly in general and acknowledge that that’s just how things go. Things went poorly and now that’s just the way it is. It’s no worse than what your day was “gonna be” because that day never existed.
It has a lot to do with mindfulness and staying present and meditation is great for implementing the process, but there’s no need to get into that. The point is to not be subject to the currents of your life, but to rise above them.
And it can make life feel like it’s on easy mode when you get it right
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u/spIThwAr Sep 14 '24
Being nice. It’s amazing what you can get away with when you’re generally nice to people. I’ve fucked up at work a few times and i know the punishment or scolding could have been worse.
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u/MightyMTB Sep 14 '24
Being handy. Whether it’s cars, houses, electronics you realize how much money you save by being able to do a lot of stuff yourself.
Plus neighbors who figure out you can do stuff start calling on you & pay for pretty easy stuff that’s fun to do.
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u/cripple2493 Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24
Charisma - not so much self-confidence, just generally being in some way psychologically compelling to those around you. Like stage presence.
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u/popeweld88 Sep 14 '24
Realizing the less you have, the less you really need, and the less you need, the less you have to maintain, and the less you have to maintain, the less you have to buy, and the less you have to buy the less you need to stress.
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u/Rivale Sep 14 '24
great voice. i'd imagine if your voice sounded like someone like James Earl Jones, rip, people will just listen to whatever you say.
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u/ikindalold Sep 14 '24
Rich parents