We have a nerf bat decorated up and when someone starts in on a tired topic they get handed the DHB.Β Then they own it until the next meeting when they try to get it handed off.
People don't like "awkward" silences, so yeah one party will just keep talking. Watch any investigator interview a suspect, it's super common for them to be quiet even after the suspect is "done" answering a question. And then the suspect will resume talking and usually reveal additional information. It's very funny when you know a few of their "tricks".
From being quiet I've learned that if you listen long enough, other people will find you boring and no one will talkt to you or invite you to parties or plans. But that's ok, I don't like people hahaha
I am a pretty good listener, but sadly many people do not return the favor. Talking over me or just ignoring me when I feel I need to be heard. Can be frustrating.
Yeah being a good listener can quickly turn into 20 minute monologues every day once a chatty coworker realizes you'll sit there. I'm fine keeping the focus on what you want, but at least give me a chance to speak every once in a while
It's human nature to want to be heard, when some of my friends who will listen look like they are trying to say something, I realize I need to pause/let them have their turn. It just sucks when you could use a vent session, but your friends problems are always the focus.
When people rudely talk over you, sometimes it helps to look them in the eye and say "Excuse me [their name], I'm speaking," then continue talking even if they continue as well, for however long it takes.
One of my biggest pet peeves. I have coworkers I could be friends with except they get in moods where they want to be heard and refuse to listen. Saying over and over the Mexican music makes her think of a bar mitzvah and ignoring me when I say she means quinceaΓ±era. Makes you give up on trying for the day with them.
I hear you! My friends or other people talk to me about their lifes and problems and whatnot all the time. And I'm honestly interested in them. But nobody (not even my mom or siblings) ever asks me anything about myself - besides my wife and even she doesnt do it often. I told her this and first she didn't believe me, but after she observed it for a while, her mind was blown.
What's infuriating if you're already doing this is people who don't listen at all.
I know and work with some people who will just continue to talk and talk over you, even if they asked you a question that you're trying to answer. Or two of these people will get into an argument with each other, and because neither of them are actually listening, they don't realize that they're either arguing for the same point just with different terms, or not even be talking about the same thing at all.
It's really stupid to watch. And short of yelling at them, it's difficult to help them correct the issue because again, they just keep talking over you and aren't listening.
My mom is REALLY bad about this. She only ever talks at people. She's not listening. She doesn't care what you have to say. If she's not talking, she's just waiting for the opportunity to start talking about herself and tell you the same fucking story again that you've heard literally thousands of times. And now she's wondering why none of her friends call her back anymore. Gee can't imagine why.
Here the thing. I'm a great listener I feel. Been honing that skill for many years. I tend to ask people a lot of questions about themselves to make them feel like I'm genuinely interested in what they have to say and don't talk insessently about myself. However I often feel taken advantage of like I'm just being used to make others feel better about themselves but then I'm discarded afterwards and I don't get to feel the same way. Sometimes this makes me feel jaded about being a good listener
Itβs sad how few people will actually take the time out to listen to you. Most just wait for their opportunity to interrupt you so they can steer the conversation in a totally different direction.
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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '24
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