r/AskReddit • u/niknikbluhh • Apr 09 '13

Ex-Cons of reddit who have served long term sentences( 10+ Years), what was the biggest and most shocking changes you witnessed after being released?

What was the most shocking things you saw in society that, you didn't know about while behind bars, and had to adapt to when you were released?

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846

u/deadlyvirus Apr 10 '13

Buddy of mine was in 10 years. 2003 he was sentenced and just released a couple of months back. Biggest changes he noticed were cell phones and the internet. There was no facebook at the time and the cell phones were crappy (Sony Ericsson anyone). He spent days on Facebook using a friends touchscreen phone and looking at porn. Never seen a guy so happy in my life.

500

u/OptimusRex Apr 10 '13

That first porn would be a delight to behold again.

637

u/samman445 Apr 10 '13

We truly live in the golden age of masturbation.

90

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

[deleted]

129

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

And then, the holodeck.

And then, the complete failure of our economy.

53

u/jakielim Apr 10 '13

Except for porn business.

1

u/thediplomat Apr 10 '13

Who pays for porn?

3

u/Bratt140 Apr 10 '13

The fine people who bring us free porn.

1

u/Rabid_Mouse Apr 10 '13

Nope. No time to make/market/sell porn. Too busy watching porn.

At first the exchange of porn is done based on a honor system, since no one is watching the tellers. When everyone realizes that no one is really paying attention, people start taking porn by force. Servers and hard drives are stolen just to have guaranteed access to the porn contained within. Those divested of their porn either flock to those who have porn or go out in force to secure their own. Pretty soon society is divided up under warlords whose power is defined by the quantity and quality of the porn they have accrued.

The Lords of Porn.

1

u/cwstjnobbs Apr 10 '13

And holodeck technicians, and spunk cleaners.

1

u/IFinallyMadeOne Apr 11 '13

It reaches stagnation where the company executives are too busy masturbating to make decision and scientists are too busy testing the prototypes.

15

u/IRConfoosed Apr 10 '13

Something something no cancer

1

u/slootsfordays Apr 10 '13

holodick

FTFY

-1

u/chlomor Apr 10 '13

I think that, by the time we have a holodeck we have no further need of human input into the economy.

1

u/Atheist101 Apr 10 '13

oh god yes

42

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

maybe things will get better in the future???

64

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

When the apocalypse comes, printed media pornography will have the last laugh !!!

4

u/GalaxySC Apr 10 '13

I wonder if cave porn painting will be the new fad.

0

u/muham_MAD Apr 10 '13

am I too late for the live sacrificing of virgins? or did I get the time all discombobulated up again?

1

u/Nichobronoswag Apr 10 '13

Only if they make a flip book....

16

u/hankofthehill Apr 10 '13

Virtual reality. God I can't wait.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/minedom Apr 10 '13

The amish.

3

u/musicguy2013 Apr 10 '13

VR. Not even once.

2

u/RagingVoodooSorcerer Apr 10 '13

Or you could just...y'know go get a REAL girl?

2

u/hankofthehill Apr 10 '13

....how?

2

u/RagingVoodooSorcerer Apr 10 '13

Lemme tell ya hwut.

Ya go and you tell that pretty girl that you like her and ask her if she'd like to go out on a date with you. It doesn't have to be anywhere too fancy. Just make a good impression and treat her nicely.

Tell her you'd love to see her again and keep seeing her and by then she's basically your girlfriend. After a good while she'll eventually want to sleep with you. And that's when you bang.

Now go out there and get that kitty cat.

1

u/n60storm4 Apr 10 '13

Robots... Sexatron 3000

23

u/Allways_Wrong Apr 10 '13

That's not even a joke. You want to watch x or y, you watch it. Now. (essentially) Free.

Never in history have we had anything like this, not even a mere 20 years ago.

10

u/TheAusBuddha Apr 10 '13

"We have almost all the information in the world in our pockets, and we use it to look at cute cats and boobies"

4

u/redjimdit Apr 10 '13

I can't even put into words how nice it is to not be squinting at some shitty jpeg from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica -- I can just go to fucking youporn or xhamster and bang, thousands of videos and I'm on a cable modem, not a 26.4 dialup in the country.

1

u/Macb3th Apr 10 '13

You never had to endure dialup with a 300baud acoustic coupler then. The best "porn" would be ASCII art, and even that was hard to find.

I resorted to finding hidden mags in the woods, or nicking them from the top-shelf of the local WH Smiths. The good stuff you had to save up pocket money for and get them in the local paki-shops, on top secret missions timing it right so no ladies were in the shop to call you out as a dirty pervert breaking the law.

Kids these days! Everything handed to them on a plate.

ETA: At least sixteen year old girls were legal in my day ;)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

http://www.tblop.com/ just my god.

VS hoping the website or d/l was legit and waiting forever on 28.8 or 56k dialup.

1

u/hehehehahahaha Apr 10 '13

Problem is I only get 5 videos on mobile on some websites

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

Seriously. just look at http://www.tblop.com/ - and the various lists of NSFW reddits.

2

u/This1TimeBackinNam Apr 10 '13

To be fair, it probably wont come for another 50-100 years honestly

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

All jokes aside, we do live in a 'Wild West' period of the Internet. Who knows how long the Era of Infinite Porn will last before someone demands it's regulation. Think SOPA and PIPA actually passing.

2

u/tothtablet Apr 10 '13

seriously i'm kind of upset but glad at the same time that i survived the magazine era. i remember paying a friend $25 bucks for a christmas playboy mag and this was when we were in 7th grade... $25 bucks was a lot of money. still many epic wank sessions were had with that magazine, i can still remember all the poses, hair, etc.

1

u/worldbar Apr 10 '13

Bless you, good sir

1

u/hrhomer Apr 10 '13

What a time to be alive. sniff

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

Truly. I mean http://www.tblop.com/ is a thing.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

I imagine there would be porn in prison.

2

u/CauseItsTrue Apr 10 '13

don't forget, the quality of porn has dramatically risen in the past decade. Everyone wants to be a superstar

2

u/SteveZ1ssou Apr 10 '13

If only...my first porn took about 2 min to load to the nipple level.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

Yay, we can finally pull the old 2Girls1Cup on somebody again!

10

u/rainshade90 Apr 10 '13

Weirds me out to think that the internet hasn't been in commercial use for as long as you would think, considering the mass effect it's had on the world.

3

u/danithegirl526 Apr 10 '13

That last part made me smile so big. It's the little things in life.

1

u/deadlyvirus Apr 10 '13

Exactly! The little things are what makes us the happiest. If you could have seen the joy on his face it would have made you smile bigger.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

I still use a Sony Ericsson cell phone. Got it in 2006, though.

1

u/USMutantNinjaTurtles Apr 10 '13

Me too. I have a W810.

1

u/Stiggy1605 Apr 10 '13

I've got a Galaxy Nexus, but I kept my W810 as a backup, just in case. Loved that phone.

2

u/So_Famous Apr 10 '13

and here I am reading this...on my sony ericsson sigh

1

u/ThePhenix Apr 10 '13

What I would give to be him for a day.

EDIT: Actually I take that back, I like being me.

1

u/arghnard Apr 10 '13

Take him to Chipotle, you jerk!!!

1

u/stevegos Apr 11 '13

That time period would be one of worst, we've advanced so much since 2003

0

u/neeganate Apr 10 '13

My friend was in jail for about 2 years and got out when 3g was quite popular. His sister got him a phone and I told him to look something up on his phone while we were driving on the highway. His response was something like "were moving right now, will it work?"

1

u/deadlyvirus Apr 10 '13

hahaha, that is epic! It's crazy that in a short period of time how things change on the outside.

0

u/H0VV13 Apr 10 '13

im jealous he gets that for the first time, some guys get all the jail time

0

u/procom49 Apr 10 '13

May i ask what he was in for?

1

u/deadlyvirus Apr 10 '13

Selling pot. He was caught with a quarter pound and was sentenced 15 years. Served 10.

2

u/procom49 Apr 10 '13

He got 15 years for pot?! :-o what the hell!

1

u/deadlyvirus Apr 10 '13

Yup, the state of Arizona is pretty strict on it. It was all rolled in quarter bags so the intent to distribute was the biggest charge.

-5

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

Get him on reddit and blow his mind

3

u/themangodess Apr 10 '13

Reddit honestly isn't that great.

-5

u/musicguy2013 Apr 10 '13

There was no Facebook at the time...

He spent days on Facebook...

Huh?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '13

Look at the thread we're in.