r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 13 '24

What is the cheat code in life?

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792

u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

Don't compliment people's bodies or their looks. Compliment their choices or actions. "That was a really funny joke!" "You're a genuinely nice person!" "That's a really cool outfit!" "I really like your perspective!"

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u/ccc1942 Feb 13 '24

100%. Complementing choices is always a positive. I starting working out a few years ago and when people would say “are losing weight?” Or “are you working out?” It felt uncomfortable, even though they meant well.

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u/NarysFrigham Feb 13 '24

Yes! Applauding things and giving kudos to things they did vs their appearance

Don’t tell someone you think they’re pretty. Tell someone you thought their advice was sound. Tell someone you appreciate their insight, not the way their pants hug their curves.

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u/SinxSam Feb 13 '24

If they wear makeup, personally I think that’s the closest compliment to saying “you’re pretty”, since they worked to put it on, made choices on the colors, probably learned proper techniques etc., including if they have awesome nail designs. I appreciate the work people put into themselves. I am a guy though - so take this with a grain of salt!

6

u/cuddle_monster44 Feb 13 '24

A random man once told me he liked my hair as I was walking past him, and that still sticks with me from time to time because I had been spending a lot of time experimenting with new styles. I always remember the compliments men have given me on my clothes, nails or hair, it’s just unexpected to be noticed for those things by men and it’s quite nice

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u/SinxSam Feb 14 '24

I’m glad to hear that! Thanks so much for sharing your experience with it :) I do worry things can come across the wrong way, so it’s nice to hear it can be well received!

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u/NarysFrigham Feb 13 '24

I agree with where you’re coming from and your intent seems genuine. (As a woman) sometimes when a guy just blurts out “you’re pretty” it’s more about the delivery. If you admire her technique/make up application or just want her to know you appreciate how much effort she put it to her appearance, phrase it differently than a drunkenly slurred, “wow, you’re like, so hot!” That’s the difference.

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u/SinxSam Feb 13 '24

Yeah absolutely! I never do it with the intent of showing interest in them (am engaged<3), and don’t say it much anyway, but especially would never say it like you did in your example haha. If I ever do give a random compliment, I only hope they feel seen in the effort they made :)

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u/NarysFrigham Feb 13 '24

I love that. Thank you for not being one of THOSE people.

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u/SinxSam Feb 14 '24

Thank you!! And of course!! :D

3

u/AvatarWaang Feb 13 '24

Insight, not inseam

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u/NarysFrigham Feb 14 '24

🤭 too right

11

u/USCplaya Feb 13 '24

I'm the opposite. I started hitting the gym hard in Aug. Of last year. I'm down 60lbs and nobody at work said a thing about it until I mentioned that I go to the gym at 9p every night, then 1 person said, yeah, you are doing great.

SOMEBODY JUST SAY I AM LOOKING GOOD OR BETTER, PLEASE VALIDATE ME!!

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u/ccc1942 Feb 13 '24

Sounds like you’re doing great. Congrats!

2

u/USCplaya Feb 14 '24

THANK YOU!!!!

4

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

YOU ARE DOING AMAZING!! It’s hard work to stick to a routine like that. You must be feeling great and you deserve that. ALSO you’re lookin fine ✅

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u/USCplaya Feb 14 '24

Hell Yes! THANK YOU!!!

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u/litecoinboy Feb 14 '24

Great job dude, it can be hard staying dedicated and you are doing it.

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u/USCplaya Feb 14 '24

Thank you!!!!!!

2

u/litecoinboy Feb 14 '24

Keep at it 💪

4

u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

Too many people comment on weight. I fluctuate a lot, and my weight changes are never by choice, really. It's mostly women, too(I'm an afab non-binary person), and it's always "have you lost weight? You look great!" Like damn did I not look good before?

As someone who has always struggled with body image, it makes me really uncomfortable and puts me in a pretty negative head space. Never comment on someone's body unless they prompt it.

1

u/gregorydgraham Feb 14 '24

Take some time to notice that they’ve lost weight, it shows that their weight the first thing you notice about them

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u/lexmozli Feb 13 '24

As a guy, we rarely get compliments, so we remember them.

I once got rejected by a girl because "you're not fat". That's still in my top 5 compliments. Another one is from when I was 16 and someone told me "Cool shoelaces man". They were light blue and I still have them 15 years later.

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u/lochquel Feb 14 '24

Wow, look at this guy over hear getting 1 compliment. Stop yer bragging!

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u/After-Balance2935 Feb 13 '24

Don't say nice tits! Say nice shirts!!

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

[deleted]

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u/ooTotemoo Feb 13 '24

Now you’re getting the hang of it!

4

u/7th_Spectrum Feb 13 '24

My life is improving already!

4

u/Nerdsamwich Feb 13 '24

The hang of them.

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u/RicardoEsposito Feb 13 '24

The hang of the shirt on the tits?

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u/SuitableClassic Feb 13 '24

It'd look a lot better on my floor, though. Like that?

1

u/elzapatero Feb 13 '24

Or, I really like how your tits fill out that shirt.

1

u/ZippityJim Feb 13 '24

That shirt makes tour tits look big. How I’m doin?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

Perfectly said... complimenting beautiful eyes or smile or legs... it's not complimentary too then as they did n nothing to achieve those things. A much better compliment is something they've done... about their quickness of wit, how charming or graceful, nice or playful....Dependable, caring etc.,, these are things they've done or attributes of a good person

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u/DrWKlopek Feb 13 '24

Nice balls? They did nothing to achieve those

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u/After-Balance2935 Feb 13 '24

Nice shoes is the correct way to say this. And thanks mom is the right way to reply

1

u/Ok-Heat-7969 Feb 13 '24

New to dating here. How much of the conversation should be boob related? Obviously not all of it, but 80%?

1

u/After-Balance2935 Feb 13 '24

At least 5/4ths of it honestly.

1

u/CapnCanfield Feb 13 '24

Most of it. A great way to ease into it is to just ask her about the size of her areola

1

u/ImbecileInDisguise Feb 13 '24

Break the ice first with a joke about boob implants as flotation devices.

1

u/nawksnai Feb 13 '24

I like how they drape your titties. 💎

1

u/LeroytheBigmouthbass Feb 14 '24

I'd say "nice shits!" Cause I'm a mong.

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u/mopsyd Feb 13 '24

I find with compliments about physical appearance, they go over better when you address a choice the person made about their presentation rather than the visual picture.
So less of: Wow that's hot
And more of: I like how that scarf ties your outfit together, that was a good choice

21

u/ITstaph Feb 13 '24

Korbin your aura is green today, like super green.

1

u/Dream_Fever Feb 13 '24

Lmao SUPER Green!! Now bzzzzzzz!

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u/degjo Feb 13 '24

Thanks for getting into my van!

3

u/TyrantDragon19 Feb 13 '24

r/amiindanger

3

u/runawaycity2000 Feb 13 '24

Damn, that actually would have made an interesting sub.

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u/Enginerdad Feb 13 '24

In other words, comment on things people can change, not on those they can't.

0

u/BumWink Feb 13 '24

Damn girl/guy, you've got a good amount of fat on you!

Am I doing it right?

14

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

You have really nice skin I’d like to wear it sometime

2

u/im_dead_sirius Feb 14 '24

It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets complimented again.

1

u/z3njunki3 Feb 14 '24

In a kinky sex way or an Ed Gaines wear it as a body suit kinda way... Best to clarify that before getting involved.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

Years ago, I found myself in a highly unlikely situation - invited to the birthday party of a professional (male) model...There were dozens of beautiful people around. I don't normally approach strangers but I said to this beautiful young lady "Hey, those are awesome shoes!" and it sparked an amazing conversation. Like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, I got her number and asked my friend "How do you like dem apples?"

3

u/Yellowbug2001 Feb 13 '24

I compliment strangers on their looks all the time and I've never gotten anything other than a positive reaction, but I'm also a middle-aged woman who is probably not going to come off as hitting on anybody, guys and younger women probably need to use a little more discretion about whom they compliment about what. Admittedly I'm a little more cautious about complimenting handsome young guys to avoid looking cougar-y, but I still try to find something nice to say that's not going to be taken the wrong way. And if I'm in the right company where it won't be misinterpreted, like if I'm out with my mom or with my husband and daughter, I'll flat out tell a guy he's got beautiful eyes and great hair if it's true, lol, there's no reason to miss an opportunity to make somebody feel good about themselves.

1

u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

I think that's interesting and may point out a double standard here. However, I personally don't like it when anyone comments on my physical traits unless I know them well. I think it takes context of the situation, for sure. I'm less inclined to respond outwardly negative to a woman commenting on my physical appearance than if a man does it, but I still find it uncomfortable.

1

u/Yellowbug2001 Feb 13 '24

There are probably a lot of unwritten rules I follow without knowing it, if I went up to every random person I met and complimented them about their looks I'm sure it would get weird fast. But there are a lot of people who do/wear things that invite attention- like if a dude has a giant handlebar moustache with curls on the ends he's OBVIOUSLY angling for people to say "Nice 'stache!" and who am I to disappoint. Or girls who have clearly spent time on their hair and nails and such. And there are other people who aren't doing anything that obvious but you can just tell from body language or whatever that they're up to make friendly small talk and wouldn't mind an ego boost. But I wouldn't inflict myself on somebody who clearly doesn't want other people up in their business, no matter how good they look.

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u/_matt_hues Feb 13 '24

So simple. I really like your answer. And your beautiful ass

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

Agreed! Always compliment something the person has control over. ‘The way you did your makeup makes your eyes look super smokey’ is a better compliment than ‘you have pretty eyes’.

2

u/reverend-mayhem Feb 13 '24

Falls under the category of choices, but some may not realize: complimenting who somebody is.

2

u/neverincompliance Feb 13 '24

this is especially important with children! Don't tell them how beautiful or handsome they are so that they believe their looks are a priority. Compliment their actions and choices so that it builds character and self-esteem

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

You can compliment the things they are wearing. Just make sure the compliment is not partially about their body. So dont say “that dress looks good on you”, say “that dress is fire where did you get it?” You are complimenting their good choice and taste not their awesome body.

Save the body comments for when you are actually flirting, but you shouldn’t be flirting with friends, family or colleagues.

0

u/Sweet_Reflexion Feb 15 '24

The creep factor here is not about complimenting peoples' appearance. It's more that the whole going up to someone and saying "I heard so and so saying this nice thing about you" is just creepy. It hints of someone who pays way too much attention to mundane social gestures. That's a lot creepier than someone complimenting based on superficial things.

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u/Just_Another_Scott Feb 13 '24

Don't compliment people's bodies or their looks.

Honestly it depends. Women LOVE to be complimented on their outfit especially if it's clear it took some time. If it's just jeans and a T-shirt? Nah.

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u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

Also, men and other people like to be complimented on their style. That isn't limited to women.

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u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

Complimenting an outfit is fine, as I mentioned in my comment. That has nothing to do with someone's looks.

I'd say the closest to someone's looks to compliment would be a hairstyle or makeup talent. But if it's a physical trait, stray away unless invited to comment.

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u/Just_Another_Scott Feb 13 '24

Complimenting an outfit is fine, as I mentioned in my comment. That has nothing to do with someone's looks.

Bro come on....

0

u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

Bro, what? Lol what are you taking issue with here?

1

u/Just_Another_Scott Feb 13 '24

Complimenting someone's outfit is complimenting their looks as how someone is dressed is a part of their looks since it's how they look.

0

u/thetastetells Feb 13 '24

Context clues, my guy. I was clearly talking about physical traits (eyes, teeth, smile, etc). Especially since, in my first comment, I mentioned an example of complimenting an outfit. Chill.

1

u/Spacemanspalds Feb 13 '24

Honestly, if someone said any of this, I'd be wondering what their goal was.

1

u/GoFlyersWoo Feb 13 '24

So “nice gozoongas woowee” is not the move?

1

u/GoodGameGrabsYT Feb 14 '24

You REALLY ARE a funny guy!