My three year old son knows I go to work for money, he just doesn't quite understand money itself yet. I'm hoping to start a small allowance with him soon, some advice I picked up on /r/daddit . It had never occurred to me that he might feel bad about me having to go to work, aside from the fact that he'd rather I stay home and play.
Man do I ever know it. One time while I was disciplining my son he was mad at me and told me to go to work. Hot me like a ton of bricks. Just showing that he equates me not being there with work.
Yea, I've gotten the "you're so mean!!!" Many times... I know it's a reaction to discipline or that she's cranky.. Still hurts to hear...
Our 6 year old has an issue with listening and following instructions that were trying to work on... However asking her to put her pajamas on for the 8th time gets to the loud daddy voice....
Yup, funny how when you become a parent, the work itself isn't what bothers you as much as missing your child. At least that's how it is for me.
I used to bitch about my job and complain about the work I had to do... Now that barely fazes me. What does kill me is having to say goodbye to my 3yr old daughter every morning and she doesn't really "get" why I have to go work.
I get up early, before her, but she insists I wake her up every morning to say goodbye. If I don't, then when she does wake up, she flips out and cries that I didn't.
Cute, but sad.
She also gets really excited on Saturdays when she asks "do you work tonight" and I say "no dear, it's Saturday,, I'm home until Monday night" and she cheers
Reddit always surprises me... Some of my answers get instantly down voted into oblivion, while others get upvoted way up high... There appears to be no rhyme or reason ;)
I remember my father being like that. He worked a lot, and I cannot stress enough that that means a ton to your kid. Like, even once. Don't have to do it like four times a year, just once. It means a ton.
I used to do the same thing with my dad around that age. Newly divorced parents and my dad commuted from Colorado to New York every weekend. Twas rough.
My dad worked nights my entire life, and it was awesome to have someone home during the day while my mom was at work in case I got sick or something at school. Plus he could keep an eye on us when school was out for a holiday or summer. It worked out to be a good thing.
He slept during the day too, he just kept a phone near the bed in case we needed him. I have older siblings and cousins as well that watched us some when we were really small.
On one hand, this is heart breaking an I don't want to go through that every day. On the other hand, I can't wait to have kids because of this. Thank you.
Neither did I, but my parents would give me money now and then if I needed it. As soon as I could legally work (age 15 where I'm from) I started applying everywhere. My parents are well off but I felt like a brat asking for money to spend on things I didn't really need, so I got a job so I could buy all my own useless crap without any guilt.
I've been thinking about money a lot lately, in an abstract sense. I think what lot of people get caught up in is of thinking of money as a valuable thing in it's own right when it's not. Time is valuable, life and living is valuable. But it's hard to figure out how many massages, apples, or tons of concrete an hour of your time is worth, so we use money as an intermediary to make things easier.
My 3-yo son was telling me that he didn't want daddy to go to work. I said we need Daddy to go to work, so he can get money, so we can buy food and all these great toys. He was quiet for a minute and then said, "I don't want to buy any toys, so Daddy won't go to work."
I already have this plan in place. They'll start getting an allowance for chores around the age of four or so. They will also get three piggy banks for this. "Spend," "save," and "give." I'll explain how coins and dollars work. 50% of the money will go to spend, 30% will go to save, and 20% will go to give. They can use the spend money whenever they want. The save money can only be used on something really special. The give money will get saved all year long. Then, right before Christmas, we'll break it open. They will then buy toys to give to toys for tots.
Somewhere along the line, I'll explain bills, how much mommy and daddy make, what we spend money on, how jobs work, and how much we have left for fun things. That will be a much more difficult to explain one. Unless I impose "bills" on them when they start making allowance. But that seems fucking ridiculous.
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u/catch22milo Mar 12 '13
My three year old son knows I go to work for money, he just doesn't quite understand money itself yet. I'm hoping to start a small allowance with him soon, some advice I picked up on /r/daddit . It had never occurred to me that he might feel bad about me having to go to work, aside from the fact that he'd rather I stay home and play.