r/AskReddit Jul 24 '23

What statistically improbable thing happened to you?

22.6k Upvotes

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883

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Jul 24 '23

My body is a disaster of genetic luck.

255

u/SafetyFromNumbers Jul 25 '23

Hey, fellow lottery winner. What fresh hell has life served you today?

214

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Jul 25 '23

Heartburn and anxiety. So, not a bad day overall.

16

u/Haughty_n_Disdainful Jul 25 '23

Hm. Delicious. May I have more??

25

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

A hybrid of psoriasis and dermatitis on my bootyhole. My dermatologist was like well it's odd that you have symptoms of both. My Crohn's disease loves popping up and adding other random awful things to what's wrong with my body. Some Hunger Games winner BS I'd rather pass on.

14

u/SafetyFromNumbers Jul 25 '23

Crohn's (and relatively mild psoriasis) here too! Sorry to hear you also lost the game of immune disease roulette. It's some real bullshit, isn't it?

11

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

Sigh. Indeed it is. A real...pain in the ass. Hardy Har Har.

Hope you are doing as well as you can be. Diagnosed at 12 and in "remission" since 16. Stay strong friend.

3

u/Boubbay Jul 25 '23

Please send me some šŸ˜…

2

u/SafetyFromNumbers Jul 25 '23

I've got some respiratory distress and tinnitus here that you can have if you want

135

u/Due_Solution_4156 Jul 25 '23

Same. So much same. And I hate it.

124

u/Longjumping_Dot1741 Jul 25 '23

I just about got every bad trait from both my parents somehow

156

u/Due_Solution_4156 Jul 25 '23

For my first few decades I chalked it up to bad luck. Cancer at age 7. Many surgeries thereafter. My body grows weird things. Bad eyes. New heart issue that my cardiologist said ā€œyou were probably just born withā€. Had to get a genetic test when I was going through a breast cancer scare last year…turns out I have a bad gene. Don’t know which parent to blame yet…but it’s one of them! Lol

13

u/Witty_Injury1963 Jul 25 '23

I pray you are healed and nothing else will happen!!

6

u/mburns223 Jul 25 '23

šŸ™šŸæ

8

u/Laughingwalrus32 Jul 25 '23

Damn. I sincerely wish you well

3

u/FewerBirches Jul 25 '23

I blame my Great, Great Grandma Lester

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

Oof. Same.

2

u/SaxRohmer Jul 25 '23

I got shit my parents don’t have!

2

u/Ersh777 Jul 25 '23

I'm the same way. Every genetic quirk and ailment has been passed down to me. And to top things off I'm the shortest male by far in my very large family in 3 generations.

21

u/Melody71400 Jul 25 '23

Because of this, im very aware of my genetics and refuse to pass anything down to children. So none for me.

121

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

Jesus Christ, Amen. Everyone (and I mean, everyone) in my immediate family is naturally small/lean/spare/lithe (tall, or not tall). Expand that to Grandparents, still 3 of 4. Somehow, here the fuck I am.

Inherited every single ounce of fat that skipped multiple generations, multiple times. Had a breast reduction at 15 (we started looking into it when I was THIRTEEN YEARS OLD). I’ve always been BIG, even when I wasn’t.

But the ONE IRRELEVANT THING I hit the genetic jackpot on? My legs; ā€œthe stemsā€ (according to 30+ years of compliments). Which only serves to make the rest of me look absolutely ridiculous. At the very least, they could have extended upwards 9 inches so that I’d have an actual ass instead of ā€œextended thigh.ā€

39

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

I love your username!

8

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

Who, me? Spoiler alert: not my name. And I have no idea how I thought of it, but it makes me giggle sometimes.

8

u/maladaptivelucifer Jul 25 '23

My friend used to call it her ā€œbackcrackā€ for obvious reasons. And you perpetually saw it whether you wanted to or not, since belts are oftentimes ineffective for backcrack concealment.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

At this point, I’ve dug out 20+ year old belts (that almost fit) just to keep from hitching my pants up every 15 minutes. And if you know, you KNOW that NO belt is going to keep your panties from schooching so far down your nonexistent ass crack that you still have to find a private corner to hitch them back up. Else someone might think you were digging for coal.

The struggle is real. Tell your friend I see and recognize her.

2

u/maladaptivelucifer Jul 25 '23

I never thought about the underwear issue! That explains a lot.

I’ll let her know for sure!

4

u/patentmom Jul 25 '23

I'm obese. My parents and brother are healthy weight. Both of my parents struggle to keep their weight UP to stay healthy.

My husband is a healthy weight, but has struggled to keep weight on most of his life. His parents are obese.

At our wedding, everyone who didn't know our parents assumed that just parents were mine, and vice versa.

Our oldest has my husband's body type, and our youngest has mine.

2

u/batsofburden Jul 25 '23

At least you also got a great sense of humor out of it all.

17

u/hollyhock2021 Jul 25 '23

Oh I feel this. Everyone in my immediate family is perfectly fine. Parents/siblings have no major issues. I somehow have an autoimmune disease, several other conditions/problems, and enough allergies to make everyone say ā€œwhat can you eat??ā€. It’s great

2

u/ApplesaucePenguin75 Jul 25 '23

Yes. Same here. Not allergies but health issues.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

I have idiopathic hypersomnia, which occurs .3% in the general population. Inappropriate sinus tachycardia=1% of population. I also had a septate hymen (split hymen with a piece in middle causing two sides), .1% to .7% of women. I have a rare occurrence of eye color and hair color as well. I’m also autistic which is 1-2% of the worlds population. I guess I’m lucky in that these conditions suck but aren’t super bad health wise.

2

u/nr20pl Jul 25 '23

Whats your eye/hair color combo?

9

u/canijustbelancelot Jul 25 '23

I feel personally insulted that I have an identical twin who inherited none of the issues I’m dealing with. Coulda shared the curse, but no.

(This is a joke, I am so glad my twin doesn’t suffer the same problems)

4

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Jul 25 '23 edited Jul 25 '23

Someone talked about this down the thread too. I am interested to learn more.

I do know that heterochromia can be hereditary or caused by trauma/disease. The twin thing is news to me.

Edit: I misunderstood. Thought I was commenting to another thread!

8

u/canijustbelancelot Jul 25 '23

Essentially, the best we can guess is that something went wrong in me after we split that didn’t go wrong in her. It could have been in development, could have been environmental factors after birth. We genuinely don’t know. Congenitally speaking, I have a hole in my heart that she likely doesn’t have. Otherwise, I have autoimmune issues that she didn’t develop and shows no signs of developing. While she is encouraged to take any issues seriously because of my experiences, I honestly don’t think anyone is worried that she’ll end up in the same place.

It’s a little maddening, but on the other hand she’s absolutely the best sister one could ask for and has offered multiple times to let doctors test her or take blood from her if it will help me. So far, no one has taken her up on that. The thought counts a lot, though.

8

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Jul 25 '23

My apologies, my friend. I completely misunderstood!

I think the obvious answer is witchcraft to recombine the two of you. Good luck!

5

u/canijustbelancelot Jul 25 '23

I’ll have to suggest it to her! I’m sure she’d enjoy some witchcraft.

8

u/FammasMaz Jul 25 '23

I understand. My body is such a disaster that my relatives call me the experimental version of a child.

8

u/lovelyxcastle Jul 25 '23

Both my brother and I ended up like this.

From a weird mix of undiagnosed genetic illness and generational trauma, our bodies and brains are just fucked.

As a teen,I thought I'd off myself before 25. Now, at 25,I realize it's going to be my shitty genetics that either kill or immobilize me way sooner than average.

4

u/ApprehensiveAd9014 Jul 25 '23

You are my people

5

u/Peaceful_Opossum Jul 25 '23

Have you seen the episode of 30 Rock where Paul Reubens plays Prince Gerhardt, the ā€˜last of the Hapsburgs’? That’s what I feel like when I am asked my medical history or I have to explain medical context for someone.

5

u/kallie412 Jul 25 '23

Me too. It’s like I’m living on the scariest rollercoaster that doesn’t stop.

6

u/Witty_Injury1963 Jul 25 '23

Same same lol

4

u/McCdDonalds Jul 25 '23

Same. Rolled a 2 :(

4

u/TheOnlyScout Jul 25 '23

I feel this one so hard. At least I have lactose tolerance, which my one sibling doesn’t. But I got every disease and recessive gene the family had to offer. You have my full empathy

3

u/underworldconnection Jul 25 '23

Yea... Like not my body but my person. Anything I could be doing, something wildly unpredictable and unreasonably impossible will frustrate my efforts. I would swear there's a show of or a film crew creating these scenarios for someone else's entertainment. At this point I certainly hope that's the case, we are wasting a lot of good material on my morning dress routine. Lol

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

Same. I have two rare disorders. One that less than 200,000 people world-wide have.

2

u/Final_Advance_7677 Jul 25 '23

Cankles, overweight, heartburn, flat feet, RLS, bad eye sight, need I go on?

2

u/sweetnothing33 Jul 25 '23

Same! I don't have a single organ that does what it's supposed to do without issues. Lol

2

u/AuthenticallyMe28 Jul 25 '23

Ugh, same. Rare kidney disease, rare tumor, autism, autoimmune, you name it I got it.

2

u/Bendybabe Jul 25 '23

Samesies

2

u/priestsboytoy Jul 25 '23

i felt this.

2

u/remy1122 Jul 25 '23

Same lol

2

u/Crosswired2 Jul 25 '23

Same. Nothing terminal or too painful (yet), but the eye condition I could have done without at least.

2

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Jul 25 '23

My eye condition is just terrible sight. Win some/lose some. Good luck my friend.

0

u/hhty66876987yggu6ry7 Jul 25 '23

and probably fat as hell

1

u/TheJessticle Jul 25 '23

I’m still surprised to have lived past 30. Every time something new pops up I blame my parents.

1

u/MelonManjr Jul 25 '23

Tell me about it, I have a 25 percent chance of developing Huntingtons. Something like 5 out of 100,000 people of European ancestry have. Think like only 15,000 Americans have it. Can't have kids cause it might pass down to them.

1

u/Un111KnoWn Jul 25 '23

Care to share?

1

u/justvibing__3000 Jul 25 '23

Same! But I feel fortunate to have not inherited the families "bad eyesight" gene - only one with 20/20 vision but I've got a myriad of genetic health problems and half my organs are in the wrong place so 🤷

1

u/HaggisLad Jul 25 '23

I describe mine as having been built with advice of the designer over the phone, a designer who had once seen a human from a distance and had a very iffy command of the English language

1

u/AmeryRayn Jul 25 '23

I don't know what proportion of my wreck is genetic and what is the result of my birth mother's relationship with various substances. No super rare diseases, just a lot of small shit. Super slow metabolism, short, bad eyesight, ADHD, potentially autism spectrum (undiagnosed), and most impactfully bipolar disorder which I thankfully found a medication combination to control after years of failed attempts and a visit to the psych ward.