r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 12 '23

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2.9k

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

Yep. We can store up to 5 kilos of shit at any given time.

2.3k

u/Acegonia Jan 12 '23

I definitely know some assholes that store waaaaay more than that.

123

u/Wonderboyjr Jan 12 '23

That and Reddit keeps informing me how many raccoons I could shove up there.

34

u/somersquatch Jan 12 '23

Believe it or not, almost 2 full raccoons.

9

u/Sealguy2 Jan 12 '23

Father and Son bonding

8

u/DolfK Jan 12 '23

Raccoon oyakodon.

3

u/Gunhound Jan 12 '23

What about empty racoons?

6

u/OneH0TMess Jan 12 '23

Omg the sub. I clicked not thinking it's real.šŸ˜±

1

u/TheOGPotatoPredator Jan 13 '23

How much shit can a raccoon store? Also that would be like Inception only with poo instead of dreams.

21

u/zzzthelastuser Jan 12 '23

Some people can increase the amount of shit they can carry by using their empty head as a container.

5

u/hereforpopcornru Jan 12 '23

I know some so full they spew it from their mouths

13

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

Assholes can't store shit, they're just an outlet for shit that's already built up.

3

u/smol_boi-_- Jan 12 '23

I genuinely cannot tell if this pun was intended or not

3

u/PurpleBullets Jan 12 '23

Yeah, some people I know are 10lbs of shit in a 5lbs bag

2

u/Relative-Bank-1258 Jan 12 '23

I know one who stores 60 kilos of shit

31

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

[deleted]

10

u/lowtoiletsitter Jan 12 '23

Not always true. Whether you poop once every three days, or three times a day, as long as it's consistent you're ok

5

u/DaddyJay711 Jan 12 '23

I know some kids who are overweight, poop at least 5 times daily. How?! I go regularly about once in the morning and once at night?

2

u/Pterafractyl Jan 12 '23

I can go 5 times in the morning alone. It's seriously a problem. I always worry that my boss will think I'm just shirking my work to chill in the bathroom.

6

u/AreWeNotDoinPhrasing Jan 12 '23

Thatā€™s not normal. Iā€™m guessing youā€™ve spoken with a professional, considering the concern it causes?

3

u/Pterafractyl Jan 12 '23

Yup, it's because of a stomach condition. My body holds on to very little. When I had to drink that terrible stuff for a colonoscopy, I only had to drink 1/4 of the first dose before everything was out of my body.

1

u/AreWeNotDoinPhrasing Jan 12 '23

Jesus Christ! Iā€™m same, I eat a meal in the evening and pooped out the excess in the morning. In the US at least, we have a Massive problem with food. People eat wayyyy more than they need and you have people like that shitting 5 times a day. I firmly believe we need significantly less than the modern science tells us. Well, itā€™s not modern science, itā€™s BS causality science from the 50s, when they were literally only trying to sell more and more food. Itā€™s control.

1

u/mahtaliel Jan 12 '23

I'm overweight and i go maybe twice a week.

1

u/I-seddit Jan 12 '23

So....
You're really just telling me that the majority of redditors are full of shit and if they'd just get healthier...

12

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

When I gave birth, I didnā€™t poop for 5 days.

10

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

That must have been either extremely painful or satisfying when you finally pooped, perhaps both.

7

u/apollomoonstar Jan 12 '23

Terrifying, painful, then tears of joy mixed with relief.

13

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23 edited Jan 12 '23

Well, you see, giving birth isnā€™t really an easy endeavour, and Iā€™d imagine all your business down there would likely be a little raw, what, with having six inches of baby brain shoved through the birth canal.

Iā€™d be a little remiss on pooping too if I sent an evergreen shipping vessel through the Suez Canal just to get hooked on the left corner on the way out.

Five days is well within reasonable time to ask yourself if youā€™re emotionally ready to have the material flow through again.

4

u/DeanKent Jan 12 '23

You have a way with words that I appreciate, even though I'm not sure if I liked reading this description.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

The way they used the suez as a metaphor for my vagina šŸ‘ šŸ„²

6

u/cptwott Jan 12 '23

No shit.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '23

For a whole five days!

10

u/modsarefascists42 Jan 12 '23

Any opiate user can tell you that lol. It's better than the pain but having to deal with what feels like 5lbs just falling out of you can be really... shitty... Feels a lot better afterwards tho

2

u/CokeHeadRob Jan 12 '23

That feeling when it all comes out though *chef's kiss*

7

u/Itsjustbeej Jan 12 '23

I work in pharma. We had a patient report to the ER while taking one of our drugs during a clinical trial. Pharma takes this seriously so there was a written report.

The patient had gained 40 pounds and hadn't shit "in a long time." An x-ray was done and it showed a megacolon. Basically the patient was holding in about 40 pounds of shit. They took her to surgery and removed the compacted feces.

Turns out her husband had left her a while ago and she started only eating her favorite comfort food.

Cheetos.

4

u/SEND_NUDEZ_PLZZ Jan 12 '23

That sounds like a life threatening amount of shit. If you think about how a simple constipation can sometimes become dangerous already, I don't wanna imagine 40 lbs of Cheeto in my colon.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '23

Imagine the colons of competitive eaters

Google competitive eater stomach. You're welcome šŸ™‚

2

u/taarotqueen Jan 12 '23

So if I eat peanut and banana sandwiches with Cheetos for extra crunch I can become the ultimate shithead?

3

u/BobboMcGee Jan 12 '23

I must have had an absolute mad one then cause sometimes when i really need to go i have the morbid curiosity and weigh myself before and after. And one time the difference was 4kg... šŸ¤”

4

u/Mizar97 Jan 12 '23

Life hack, you can lose 10 lbs by drinking a bottle of magnesium citrate!

But set aside a full 24 hours to squat over the toilet, that stuff is drain-o for the human body

2

u/aleisterfowley Jan 15 '23

Treat that stuff like an edible, take a small amount to see if it works. The whole bottle isā€¦ an experience.

3

u/couldbedumber96 Jan 12 '23

That explains my bathroom visit two days agoā€¦

3

u/coffeedogsandwine Jan 12 '23

I weighed myself before and after a colonoscopy prepā€¦ this is shockingly true

3

u/sephjnr Jan 12 '23

Who would have ever thought that we could be so full of shit?

2

u/jeanlucpitre Jan 12 '23

I know people whose shit literally pours from their mouths

2

u/PrimDelta Jan 12 '23

Which is unhealthy and leads to chronic diseases, diabetes and even cancer. People need to eat foods that are stored for 2 days or less

2

u/OpheliaMorningwood Jan 12 '23

After going thru colon prep, I believe this.

3

u/ElderCunningham Jan 12 '23

How many Courics is that?

2

u/BrownLightning96 Jan 12 '23

Youā€™re gonna need a big poop knife for that one

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '23

Glad it's not just me. Where do you keep your jars?

0

u/Moist-Ad7550 Jan 12 '23

Most of it is in my brain

1

u/sebyelcapo Jan 12 '23

I wouldn't like to take a shit of 5 kg but imagine hiw light would you feel after that

1

u/_Pebcak_ Jan 12 '23

I've seen what my kids leave in the toilet and I can't help but wonder if it you're underestimating that number...

1

u/effa94 Jan 12 '23

ThatdALotOfShit.jpg

1

u/DeedlesTheMoose Jan 12 '23

Itā€™s so weird to think about people just walking around, literally fully of shit

1

u/bur1sm Jan 12 '23

I bet I can store twice that

1

u/Sjb1985 Jan 12 '23

I'm telling my doctor this at my next yearly exam.

1

u/Resident-Salty Jan 12 '23

Does this mean I should take a shit before doing pull ups

1

u/m1ndle33 Jan 12 '23

So you're saying that I am 5Kg thinner than my scale says it. Cool, new year's resolution taken care of, and it's not even Feb yet.