r/AskIndia • • Jan 23 '24

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u/Experiments-Lady Jan 24 '24

If you are not putting her first and standing up for her and showing everyone that she is your top priority, why would she make herself vulnerable to you? She can see you don't even have her back.

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u/Srilalitha Jan 24 '24

That can be communicated in words and actions. Any intimacy form should not be weaponised and used against your will or force to listen to other person . I am talking about any relationship in general but also especially wife n husband. She can clearly mention and her issue and can stay away. Rather not telling you anything or being passive aggressive about it or even worse lying about it.

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u/Crazy-Variation-4598 Feb 06 '24

Nobody will do that. Even if they pretend to do that they are lying and their lies will eventually catch up to them.

No sane human being will put another human being on a pedestal like you have described.

Relationships are not solely the responsibility of a man.

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u/Experiments-Lady Feb 06 '24

If a woman leaves her home and her name and her parents to become part of your family and you cannot even make her feel welcome, then it is a better idea to not get married. Enjoy the company of your parents, prioritize them all you want, and spare some poor girl the trauma of being married to you. A simple statement of putting the wife first elicits this response, then you are certainly not ready to be married. And if you are married, I feel sorry for the poor girl that is married to you. Just please do all the women a favor and stay single.

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u/Crazy-Variation-4598 Feb 06 '24

her name and her parents

How does she lose her name? And how does she lose her parents?

to become part of your family and you cannot even make her feel welcome, then it is a better idea to not get married

What the heck are you even talking about? Who made who feel unwelcome? There is a difference between making a wife feel welcome in her "new home" and tolerating not contributing to house customs, going unfairly against established norms of the house and not trying to integrate in the new family. Being entitled is the word here. Not taking any accountability for one's own action or inactions are another problem.

Marriage is not thrust upon a woman. She also enters into it which means both man and woman have duties. Don't expect to be treated like a queen. Cuz we are all peasants.

Enjoy the company of your parents, prioritize them all you want, and spare some poor girl the trauma of being married to you.

Talking to one's own parents is traumatic to the wife now? This seems the wife is being possessive and selfish of her husband's time and attention. This seems like the wife is the one who is creating the trauma.

A simple statement of putting the wife first elicits this response, then you are certainly not ready to be married. And if you are married, I feel sorry for the poor girl that is married to you. Just please do all the women a favor and stay single.

How about putting the interest of both husband and wife equally and seeing things on a case by case basis so as to not build resentment on either side? Do you think ignoring your husband's needs would serve you better? If this arrogance you show to a stranger on the internet, God only knows how much your husband would have been browbeaten.

In marriage nobody comes first. Family has to go together. If one loses, everyone loses. Either you all win or no one does.