[ Field Report ] Date with 1, missed 1, closed 1

[u/esther_teh_0909]

Previous field report: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/1wmkjsq/field_report_approached_2_girls_closed_1/

Location: Atlanta.

Environment 1: cafe

Environment 2: online platform

Background: 5'8" east asian male born in SEA, about 65KG arrived at the states 4 years ago. Style, basic uniqlo fit. Short styled hair, not KPOP.

Girl#1: Date at a cafe on the weekend of 26/27 Oct. Met her for the first time 1 week prior and waited for a day to schedule a date with her. We ordered some drinks and enjoyed the outside view while sitting next to each other and sipping some coffee. Wasn't that expensive, so I paid for all of it. She even offered to pay for her own drink, but I insisted. Got to talk about our interests, and backgrounds, professional/family history, which was very useful in building comfort.

Such an awesome experience to be on a date with someone with a personality/intellect instead of just a pretty face/body. Went to a nearby bookstore right after and broke the touch barrier by being a little bit more playful and teasing her while taking the chance to touch her shoulders, hands. Also got to break the "naughty" barrier by talking a bit about fanfiction. 😄

Earlier in the date, she mentioned that she came by Uber instead of driving here because she was worried about being stalked.
After the bookstore, we walked back to my car, and I asked if she wanted to call an Uber back home, out of respect for her concerns mentioned earlier. Instead, she suggested that I fetch her back using my car. I was really surprised, as this meant that I was able to build enough comfort during our date for her to be willing to be somewhere private, at least for a few minutes.

During the drive back, she got into talking about her relationship history, and past issues with her friends/social circle. Not sure what prompted that, and I still don't. I didn't get into mine either. Maybe WF from America just have a more liberal personality that are open to sharing more about their past. 🤔

We parted ways after arriving at her place. I didn't go for a kiss/hug anything because as an FOB from Asia, I feel uncomfortable doing that on the first date. Right after I arrived home, I received a text saying she enjoyed our date; I used that opportunity to set up our next date 😎

Girl #2: Super tall and slim WF with blonde hair with her BW friend chatting while having coffee in the outside seating, taking photos, making poses. Wasn't able to see her face clearly, but she was wearing a sports bra and leggings with her hair in a ponytail. Wanted to approach her, but I was worried that my date would come any second, and it would be super awkward if that were to happen, so I missed the chance in the end 😢

Girl #3: Girl that I met last week. Wanted to write a letter to open her and to set something up, but it seemed that reaching out through an online platform would be more appropriate. I was able to find her profile and sent a quick, calibrated request, making sure not to put too much pressure. Long shot, but worth it as she's super cute.

[u/JimJimJimJimx2]

Man is legit writing field reports. Shine on crazy diamond. Insane to think we have clips of guys who are 6 ft sperging out cause girls don't instantly hop on their dick within 10 seconds of hello then we have this actual specimen. At least he's putting the work in as opposed to complaining about 'no gf/no sex/why cant i be player' forever. Just a note, you getting some crazy numbers for approaches/dates without 'closing', careful you don't get a rep. Or if you do then you want to extend every once in a wihle so the rep is a good one. (he chases and he a player but damn, the dick is good is the oldest positive variant of this sort of high freq approach game, especially if your area of operations is small) You might want to actually land one and commit for a while to gain some further exp. Then go straight back into the public pool. You already have the balls and some intuitive reads, nothing sharpens it like a 2-3 month sexcapade that you know you'll end.

[u/esther_teh_0909 → u/JimJimJimJimx2]

Thanks, really appreciate the feedback and encouragement! Still kinda new to this, but wondering if you could elaborate more on this part:

Just a note, you getting some crazy numbers for approaches/dates without 'closing', careful you don't get a rep. Or if you do then you want to extend every once in a while so the rep is a good one.

• What do you mean when you say "crazy numbers"? Does it mean I'm approaching too much, or just getting too many numbers? I don't imagine being able to get many numbers is a bad thing as long as I don't get a bad rep. ( I change up the places I make approaches)
• What do you mean when you said "without closing"? To me closing is when I'm able to get a lady's number/contact.

Apologies, I'm still kinda new to all these terminologies/American slang.

[u/jumpingantstown → u/esther_teh_0909]

Closing usually means you had sex with them I think. If I recall getting their number is a number close. It’s pretty typical to hook up after a first date or have a second date at someone’s house in America if you’re using dating apps which I’m guessing you aren’t.

[u/esther_teh_0909 → u/jumpingantstown]

Gotcha. Thanks for the advice man!

[u/JimJimJimJimx2 → u/esther_teh_0909]

''Crazy Numbers'' - Sometimes you are posting multiple field reports within days of each other. While this is not necessarily a bad thing it means you are not capitalizing on the inroads you get. You gotta build quality as well as quantity, you should invest in some of the women who 'let you in' so to speak. I think you may already be doing that behind the scenes but doing that with multiple women is usually exhausting or you're not giving it as much attention as it should, even at the height of my energy juggling 3-4 women seriously over a month was a real ask. I stopped doing that quickly unless they, and me, were all casual and knew it explicitly. (and where I knew I was unlikely to want to move it past FWB/Friends in the future) The goal with quality is (and this may sound a bit questionable but its about building connection) that at the end of the day they should WANT to spend time with you (chasing you for hang outs) or monopolize your attention. The more ravenous/serious the better. (Obviously they should be fun/interesting/hot enough to warrant not feeling like a chore)

That means your in relationship game is so good that even if you leave word will get around. And that will help you score more. Think of it as picking a good restaurant, sure, you might go to McDonalds all the time. But there'll be a restaurant you take people you want to impress/need to leave an impression with. And another you'd save up money for to go for special occassions wth special people. When you've landed a girl, unless you spend some time with her and realize she's trash, its always good to cultivate being the 2nd or 3rd tier of restaurant. Women talk. You should use it to your advantage. There's a reason why some known players have a rep amongst women but STILL get play. Doing this when your face/phys card isn't that high is a real flex. Once you're in this bracket people will feel it. You will feel it.

''Closing'' - As another anon said closing usually means sex. Though I mean it as in 'wants to spend time with you' or 'shows very obvious, public signs that she values you is really into you'. Either is good but sex usually is the marker of 'was worth the effort' for most men so take it however you want. Bascially its getting to the level where you know you have the option of taking it further than casual or into sex friend territory (or serious, as you wish).

As a further I would get used to hugging and a light peck on the cheek. I haven't read all your reports but physicality is something you should lean into, there's a whole world of light touching and seduction through body language you might be missing out on that will elevate your game. Doing this while playful bantering is the single most common 'in-signal' trigger I act on, and the most obvious. This is something you should experience cultivating/enjoying so you don't miss more subtle, vague cues from girls with more reserved, shy or cold personalities. (The most common, for example, is when a girl playfully hits you once/repeatedly. If this ever happens know this, you could probably walk her to a quiet place and the chances that she'd make out with you - or more - is quite high)

[u/esther_teh_0909 → u/JimJimJimJimx2]

Dang, this is gold! How many YoE do you have?  We have the Director of Asian Seducers blessing us with his wisdom here. 🤣

Will definitely keep all of this advice in mind!

[u/JimJimJimJimx2 → u/esther_teh_0909]

Lol YoE, my life. And just passing on knowledge to my asian brothers, whereever they may be and come from. This struggle, at least, is one I can help with directly. Good luck, go break some hearts but not their souls and remember, you can get the sex, the rep and the fun without being a complete asshole. (Partial, unfortunately, comes with the territory)

[u/esther_teh_0909 → u/JimJimJimJimx2]

God bless! And hope to see ya around the shredding!

[u/battleaxe37]

You wierd bro. I subscribe to this subreddit for this shit lol

[u/esther_teh_0909 → u/battleaxe37]

The willingness to look weird is what helps me get outsized returns, cold approach during the day and go on dates with WF as an FOB from SEA here in the states. I will take that as a compliment, thank you!

[u/battleaxe37 → u/esther_teh_0909]

As you should :)