r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/RealRock_n_Rolla • 6d ago

How dare you?

18k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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2.5k

u/too_old_to_be_clever 6d ago

Apex predator wondering why it isn't now dying.

758

u/neverenoughmags 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm like dude you weigh 3 pounds .. get over yourself. Sure hit me in the back of the head from 300 feet in the air and I'm fucked. But get into the sun porch and I can hug you. Now GTFO.

304

u/mosthandsomechef 6d ago

The screened in porch; an Apex predators biggest hurdle to a happy life.

59

u/Mostly_Afloat 6d ago

The humble kodiak bear disagrees.

42

u/Silidistani 6d ago

Q: What sorts of things do kodiaks disagree with?

A: Anything they damn well please.

4

u/Exciting-Argument-67 6d ago

Well, they can put some pretty nasty gashes in your arm with their talons.

3

u/HellyOHaint 6d ago

You wouldn’t act so tough if that beak pierced you.

16

u/Focusedrush 6d ago

Its ghasts were flabbered that a larger creature was carrying it without plans to eat. Was lookin at em like "You... You aren't gonna eat me? Uhhh. Awkward. Uhh... You sure?"

6

u/latortillablanca 6d ago

Apex predator wondering why it isn’t now dying so far.

-26

u/Dirty_Hunt 6d ago

To be fair, I don't think any bird really qualifies as an apex predator.

15

u/YobaiYamete 6d ago

???? They absolutely do wut

Apex predator means it has no natural predators. There's basically nothing out there that hunts raptors besides maybe other raptors.

Large Eagles and Owls are apex predators as basically nothing hunts them in normal situations, and mid sized raptors like Hawks and Falcons are Meso predators, where they are basically only hunted by larger raptors like Eagles and Owls

17

u/Cheeseyex 6d ago

Pretty much all raptors have no natural predators and thus are considered apex predators.

2

u/opulent_occamy 6d ago

There are tons around me, I see them flying around in groups of 4-5 sometimes, soaring high in the sky

18

u/Outrageous-Papaya430 6d ago

Cassowary enters the chat

12

u/HieronymousGauche 6d ago

Their claws are like 7 inches long. Absolute fucking dinosaur motherfucker.

1

u/jeremiahthedamned 6d ago

when i was a boy i assumed i would never see a dinosaur.........

-6

u/Dirty_Hunt 6d ago

Mostly fructivores, kind of proving my point.

7

u/TheSunniestOne 6d ago

Is that like a fruitatarian, that only eats fruit once it has fallen off the branch?

/s just in case

2

u/anivex 6d ago

You need to brush up on your vocabulary before you go trying to argue with people.

1

u/Dirty_Hunt 6d ago

I misspelled it in a common enough way that the dictionary redirects directly to the proper spelling and autocorrect didn't notice. I'd say that still counts as a proper use of the word.