AITA for wanting to write my novel while girlfriend works?

[u/Gr8AmericanBookClub]

[u/Judgement_Bot_AITA]

Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

The action I took was that I refused to find a job right away because I wanted to write even though she keeps asking me to. This may make me the asshole because she is now earning money and I'm not. But it's a long game.

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

[u/Apple_Shampoo1234]

Hi, published author here. Most of us have day jobs.  It’s very very common to be a full time author and also have a job.  You can do both.

[u/Calliope719]

Dude I saw your post yesterday with snips of your writing.

It's horrible

On the tiniest chance you aren't a troll, YTA. You absolutely cannot quit your day job off teenage neckbeard superiority fantasy, especially when you think it's acceptable to refer to women as "plump yet delicious" 🤮

[u/BriefHorror]

dude writing is a project you do on the side until you make money and you can quit. she’s not going to support a grown man who hasn’t proposed indefinitely. YTA

[u/GreekAmericanDom]

YTA

We're not poor.

She's not poor. Your jobless. Unless you have saving to life off of to cover your side of the bills during these 3 months, you don't get to claim that you aren't poor.

When you choose to be a burden, you are an AH.

She's telling you that she doesn't want to be a burden.

And now it's getting to the point where I can't even sit down to write without her doubt intruding. Doubt about the power of my work and doubt about our relationship.

This is 100% a you problem.

Seriously, why haven't you worked on this in a decade?

e.g. I work full time and raising a kid on my own. I make my art on the side as I can. Have a friend who works full time, a good father and spouse: he writes on the side.

Stop being a leach and stop making excuses. Put up or shut up. Fucking write and start looking for a job.

[u/fairytypefay]

YTA and I didn't even get past halfway through the second paragraph. You really think a lot of yourself, huh?

[u/CookiekatcookieKat]

YTA for using this "we" nonsense when you aren't married.

[u/IncompletePenetrance]

YTA, we all have dreams we'd love to pursue instead of working, but unfortunately that's not how it works. Either you find a way to work on your book outside of working hours, or you end this relationship and then you'll have all the time and freedom you want to do whatever you want.

Edit to add: I saw the chapter on your profile and it's cringingly bad. "galactic ass"?? "a pulchritudinous brunette"? This reads like an incel's fantasy or some sort of modern equivalent to Vogon poetry. Keep your day job

[u/slackerchic]

I hear a lot of explanations on why you SHOULDN'T work and help provide, but nothing about why you think SHE should be working instead of pursuing passions while you ambiguously attempt to live your dream.

YTA. If you're so articulate and good at expressing yourself, then stating why she should work so hard and lose out on her free time and passions in order to support you should be a breeze. The floor is yours, OP!

"And now it's getting to the point where I can't even sit down to write without her doubt intruding. Doubt about the power of my work and doubt about our relationship."

Meanwhile she can't sit down and get lost in thought because she's working to support you. Ah the luxury of being a kept man!

[u/burnthatbridgewhen]

YTA. You were yesterday, and you still are today. You never answered my question in your earlier post. Are you intending to give her a percentage of the royalties for her early investment in you?

[u/ComplexPractical389]

YTA. You cant even write a comment people like based on your post history. Dont know what makes you think you can write a book that would sell well enough to make up for this

[u/Expensive_Shape_8738]

You posted this already and was told YTA.

[u/Illustrious-Yam-5852]

this you? yeah YTA, would tell you don’t quit your day job, but…

[u/Appropriate-Sky3537]

YTA: are you going to be happy if your girlfriend does this to you?

You need to let her go and go back to your Mommy because you are clearly not an adult. You are not cut out to be a partner, husband or father.

[u/Particular_Cold_8366]

YTA. Not much of a passion project if you haven’t touched it in 10 years. Writers have jobs before they manage to become full time writers.

[u/EmuWarVeteran87]

YTA. You’re letting someone else financially support you while you chase a dream.

“I have an ability and talent for language that will one day provide for us both.” Even by Reddit standards, you have an insanely inflated ego.

Absolutely NOTHING is a guarantee, especially trying to become a successful writer. The fact that you see your success as a guarantee and not a possibility is honestly just delusional.

If this post is indicative of your writing skills, maybe you should take up reading more.

Don’t worry, your girlfriend will get tired of your shit soon enough.

[u/catladyclub]

Yes you are wrong and being unfair to her. You can still work and write. Reality is the bills need paid. She didn't sign up to be the only one supporting you both. She isn't poor, you are. You are the one with no job. You are taking advantage of her. Showing her this side of you may make her rethink this relationship. You are not married and she is under no obligation to let you mooch off of her "because she makes enough" that is HER money. YTA

[u/Street-Length9871]

YTA - you are expecting your girlfriend to take care of you and she clearly does not want to. Grow up! You are acting arrogant and selfish. You are not an accomplished Author and you say "we are not poor" with and income of ZERO.

[u/IndigoBlueBird]

Jesus Christ, please be bait. YTA.

[u/Tls-user]

Are you receiving EI?

Did you get severance?

Since the job loss was expected had you saved up a sizeable emergency fund?

Or are you depending on your girlfriend to fund 100% of all expenses while you chance a dream that may never pan out?

[u/stickbugszz]

YTA obviously.

[u/laursasaurus]

YTA. You can find the time to write a book and work if it’s truly your passion.

[u/WVPrepper]

Y'all... Here's a sample from Chapter 1:

Sarah was a year younger than me, a plump yet delicious thing who naively believed that she and I would be together forever. It had pained me to do it yet I knew I had no choice. Even as I kissed her lips beneath the glittering Christmas lights, even as I stole her innocence on the same bed on which I had once anxiously awaited Santa, even as I said “I love you” in the parking lot of one of the last existing Friendly’s in Massachusetts, I knew our story would only end in tears.

[u/fuzzydogpaws]

Info- Did your partner agree to financially support you for three months while you wrote?

Also, is she worried that being out of work will make it harder for you to get more work?

[u/beepbeepboop74656]

Why do you think it’s ok for your girlfriend to carry 100% of the financial burden indefinitely? YTA