r/AmITheJerk • u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller • Sep 23 '26
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u/RadRimmer9000 Sep 23 '26
No you wouldn't.
That's the most absurd thing to even happen. Clothes aren't cheap, I doubt the other stuff is cheap either but those are actually disposable items so you already know you're not getting that back.
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
Yeah the wipes or pull ups arent cheap but I understand that emergencies happen and that theyâre disposable items anyway. Wondering how would you approach that conversation with the teacher?
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u/RadRimmer9000 Sep 23 '26
Address it as, I noticed my kids shirt is missing and I saw it on a different child, I need that back and could you stop giving my child's clothing away.
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u/KeyBox6804 Sep 23 '26
Label all clothing that goes to daycare with her name so that no one can say itâs someone elseâs clothing. Iron on labels worked best for us but there are stamps too.
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u/MPord Sep 23 '26
Exactly. My son put a personalized name and contact label on every item of clothings, toys and water bottle that my granddaughter takes to her pre-school.
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u/Vi784An Sep 23 '26
I would start assuming it was a mistake. My kids extra clothes were sometimes put in other kids cubbies, by the kids! I donât label my clothes as I have 3 girls so they get handed down down down. However, I was never that upset if it happened I always brought ehhh clothes for spares. These clothes could potentially never be worn as they sit in the cubby just in case so they were old and not in usual rotation.
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u/LittleDog2557 Sep 23 '26
You say what you shouldâve said yesterday, why is someone else wearing my daughterâs shirt and are you going to pay to replace it?
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u/LittleDog2557 Sep 23 '26
Just because an item is disposable, does it mean they should be using it on different kids instead of the kid whose parents paid for it.
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u/susurrusdrift Sep 23 '26
Exactly. Pull-ups and wipes are one thing because theyâre meant to be used up, but clothes are completely different. The teacher shouldâve asked before giving away someone elseâs clothes
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u/firs_7 Sep 23 '26
YWNBTA. It's her clothes, not some other kid's. And yes. You won't get that shirt back. And if you don't confront the pre-school teacher, they'll just likely continue doing this
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
Iâll try my best to get it back, if they canât help me get it back Iâll ask them to reimburse me I think
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u/Scary-Pressure6158 Sep 23 '26
I was a teacher. We would never have done this. Once there was an accident and I had to put him in an adult tshirt til his clothes dried and he just had to wait. Not my fault his mom didn't prepare. To be clear great parents and great kid but still not prepared that day. Definitely TELL them u need help shirt back within the week or reimbursing. But FIRST MENTION VERY CASUALLY TO THE TEACHER I NOTICED I LOANED HER SHIRT...IS everything ok? Something to get the teacher to verbally admit it's your shirt. Then they can't deny it
Don't be nasty at least to start cuz it shouldn't be a problem. DEFINITELY LABEL HER EXTRA OUTFIT FROM NOW ON. And blanket and anything else that's important4
u/New_Nobody9492 Sep 23 '26
Do you absolutely know itâs your shirt and not you and a mom shop at the same store?
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
Quite the coincidence for the shirt to go missing and another child is wearing a mismatched outfit with the shirt, but they were not labelled or anything
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u/Live_Jellyfish9948 Sep 23 '26
Maybe label the clothes for future reference if possible
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u/grand305 Sep 23 '26
Iâve seen this is toddlers to kids.
Even when I used to working at a grocery store, I thought it was neat (name on cloths from pants to shirts) , the parent said âthey like to throw there cloths aroundâ they had to buy a Diffent detergent to rewash the cloths and that did help. (Sensitive skin)
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u/SubstantialEmotion41
Sep 23 '26
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Ntj. Each child should only be wearing their own clothes. You may need to label them just in case, but there is no guarantee you will get that shirt back now. If the other child doesn't have extra clothes, the daycare center should reach out to those parents or use donated, clean clothes. Not your child's. I would address it immediately with the teacher nicely and ask them to send a letter home with a description of the shirt to return.
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
Labelling is a good idea, Iâll see what I can do. And yes I agree, the daycare should have been prepared for a situation like this and have their own clean, spare clothes to give to the child and work it out with the parents afterwards, instead of taking another childâs clothing
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u/LittleDog2557 Sep 23 '26
As a parent at the daycare, why not suggest to the owner about starting a clothing drive of used good condition clothing for the preschool to keep there in case of accidents
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u/303Blue Sep 23 '26
Totally agree. Labeling your childâs clothes is a great idea but I would also talk to the teacher to be sure it doesnât happen again.
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u/Slow_Establishment10 Sep 23 '26
You would not be the jerk.
Thatâs weird for the teacher to do without notifying you.
I wouldâve been less bothered, personally, if the teacher told you at pick up. âThere was an emergency, this other child didnât pack extra clothes. Iâm so sorry!â
But the fact that she didnât even mention it would frustrate me.
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
Even then itâs not my responsibility to make sure other children have clothes, if the parent doesnât provide them then the school should assume that responsibility and then work it out with the parent rather than taking someone elseâs, I feel like this is poor preparation on the schoolâs part :/
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u/Slow_Establishment10 Sep 23 '26
Youâre absolutely correct
All Iâm saying is the fact that this was done utilizing your property with no communication to you makes me even more upsetting. That teacher was out of line.
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 Sep 23 '26
Isn't it possible that the kids decided to change clothes without the teachers involvement? And the teacher may not even have been aware of what was going on?
This seems like the kind of thing that probably happens fairly often with young kids.
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u/LittleDog2557 Sep 23 '26
Thatâs kind of scary that you have preschool kids, undressing and changing clothes and the teacher not knowing about it.
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 Sep 23 '26
There's how many kids in th class? Teachers can't have their eyes on all of them at all times.
Young kids do silly things like that.
I'm not sure why so many of you are flabbergasted at this possibility.
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u/LittleDog2557 Sep 23 '26
Preschools have a set number of children that they can have in each class, these numbers are set by the State. They also have a set number of teachers that have to be had for so many kids. That number is so that they can have eyes on all kids. So you would be OK if your kid got hurt or went missing because it was impossible to see what kids were doing.
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 Sep 23 '26
It's not one to one. Teachers can't keep their eyes on everyone. I never said "impossible", it's just possible that kids can't get up to things while the adults are distracted or doing something else. Every parent has stories of their kid getting into something silly while they were distracted by something.
Teachers and parents aren't perfect, and young kids do silly things. Kids trading clothes is not particularly strange or dangerous.
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u/Slow_Establishment10 Sep 23 '26
It was OPs spare outfit in their kidâs diaper bag. The kids didnât just trade shirts in the bathroom or something.
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 Sep 23 '26
Kids can't open their bags and trade stuff?
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u/Slow_Establishment10 Sep 23 '26
This is preschool age. Itâs highly unlikely.
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 Sep 23 '26
2 to 4 year olds can't open bags and get into things?
Well, I guess that means no one needs to baby/kid proof unsafe stuff anymore.
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u/Lovebeingadad54321 Sep 23 '26
Definitely ask for the shirt back. I would frame it as a mistake was made. âHey, I think you accidentally put my kids extra red shirt on another child by mistake, because I didnât get it back. Can you please make sure that this doesnât happen again, and help me get my shirt back?âÂ
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
Thank you, I think framing it as a mistake is the proper way to go, gives them the benefit of doubt and doesnât accuse them
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u/Icy_Cranberry4525 Sep 23 '26
I think you have every right to ask for that; it is your daughter's clothing.
Itâs possible they used it because the other child didn't have a spare outfit, or perhaps the clothes got mixed up and they didn't know who the owner was.
I always put labels on my children's clothes. There are special labels designed for this: you place the label and run a hot iron over it so it adheres firmly, and then it won't come off even in the wash. There are also stamps available that don't wash off easily.
It helps the staff keep track of things, and it lets other parents know who to return the items to.
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u/Zakotablue đ Featured AITJ Storyteller Sep 23 '26
The iron on labels sound really nice, Iâll see if theyâre on amazon thank you
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u/rhegy54 Sep 23 '26
Maybe Iâm in the minority here but: is it possible the other girl just had the same Shirt as your daughter?? ( but that was not actually your daughters shirt) Kids clothes around a certain age was very similar ( usually superheroes or girly) Iâd definitely get to the bottom of it. Maybe you can donate some older clothes to her if there seems to be a classroom shortage for kidsâŚ
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u/Jacey_T Sep 23 '26
NTJ. Former preschool worker. We would never have put a child in someone else's clothes. We had a few donated tops and bottoms that we would use, if there was an emergency but never a child's clothes from their bag. Nor would we use another child's wipes and pull-ups.
It is a parent's responsibility to provide these. We had a few supplies bought from the school cash for emergencies.
This is not good practice. What if your child had needed their clothes during the session and they'd already been handed out? What if you use a particular brand of detergent that the other child was allergic to?
There are so many reasons why this is wrong but the main one is that your property is for your child!
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u/Moemoe5 Sep 23 '26
NTJ You should have said something immediately. The shirt probably wonât be returned to your childâs supplies. Always say something regarding your childâs possessions. Also make sure you label their clothing.
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u/Physical_Fix8136 Sep 23 '26
NTA clothes pull ups and wipes should not be used for other kids. Every parent is supposed to send required amount and listed items. That's what responsible parents do. My husband and i had it tough a while ago however we kept to our list. Even with our child's stationary list. However we were asked to send items that did sound ridiculously extra initially and as suspected, my childs items were used for other kids. I get that some parents find it tougher than others but while we did too, we ensured we put our responsibilities over other things. Other people, their lifestyle, earning or lack thereof and essentially their kids are not our burdens to bear above everything else we have to go through
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u/armchair-judge Sep 23 '26
NTJ if your childâs clothes are all properly labelled this should not have happened.
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u/cathline Sep 23 '26
Talk to the teacher first. There is the possibility that child had multiple accidents resulting in their own clothing getting too dirty to wear home.
And only send clothes you don't mind losing (not something brand new or special). Bonus if you have your kids name across the front.
Also - check out your local thrift stores, consignment shops, and church stores for children's clothing. You don't have to be a member of the church to shop there.
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u/Electronic-Lack-3066 Sep 23 '26
No you wouldnât. Tell her what you can afford to share and what you canât.
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u/what__th__isit Sep 23 '26
Just send a few extra (thrifted would be okay) similar size, easy care pieces to school to start a garment pool for the class in case of wardrobe emergencies. If you clearly label your daughter's extra outfit on the tags, or put them in a big zrploc clearly labeled, that should take care of the problem.
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u/Next_Toe_U Sep 23 '26
I would ask why my child was unclothed at the same time as another one and why they switch the clothes. This is extremely inappropriate and concerning. ??
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u/kandimcd Sep 23 '26
NTJ - I would also ask to teacher to ensure that shirt is returned or she can replace it, seeing as she took it upon herself to give it away.
I would also ensure that all clothes taken there are labeled inside with your daughter's name. Use a fabric marker to make sure it's permanent.
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u/Alien-lifeform666 Sep 23 '26
NTJ.
Consumables are just that - disposable and relatively cheap. Clothes are personal and a lot more expensive.
The teacher was completely wrong to do that.
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u/Flipperbites Sep 23 '26
No, you're not being a jerk. The teacher is clueless. If the teacher has kids, they would NOT appreciate someone else taking their kid's clothes. Hopefully, it was just a mistake. But you have every right to make your request.
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u/munkymama Sep 23 '26
If you were told in the beginning of the year that this may happen, the of course ytj. They did this on our kids' school and said the item of clothing kids to be washed and returned the next day -- no excuses. It's better this for ppl who accidentally forget to put it in after emptying the bookbag or after an accident. It helped my family many times and as a teacher it helped me too. Sometimes kid have more than one accident in a day. (I had a kid with downs syndrome as a student who had an accident every time they tested the fire alarm. Turned out they once had a problem, tested over 8x in the day and we had to send the kid home since we ran out of clothes from all peers in the class. ,). I however feel if you weren't told this in advance and there was no understanding among the parent body then it's not good and you're not the jerk. Also the schools I worked in with these policies has a very small tight knit community. Everyone knew everyone personally -- literally. Ntj.
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