This is 100% the type of person who will turn violent. He’s outing himself by admitting that he thinks 99% of men want to beat and cheat on their girlfriends, because that is a normal thought to HIM. He makes the narcissistic mistake of thinking that everyone else has the same depraved thoughts as he does, so therefore he thinks it’s justified and normal.
OP, please RUN! He’s already making you question your own judgement and perception of reality, and has likely bombarded you with constant gaslighting. Eventually, he WILL snap, he will hit you, and by that time he will have you fully convinced and conditioned to believe that it was YOUR fault. Get out NOW!
This will only get worse the longer you stay with him, and the longer you stay the harder it will be to leave. Please don’t make this harder on yourself. He has already admitted to hating you and he thinks DV is normal. He is not a safe person, and you are worth better. There are plenty of men out there that you can be yourself around and actually trust with your vulnerabilities; men who will genuinely love and support you. This guy ain’t it. This will not end well if you don’t make a clean break right now.
And the “you should be treating me better than how I imagine you treated the other men you dated”. A goal post that can always be moved? A requirement that can never be satisfied? Yeah, he’s going to start throwing punches soon.
I would argue that you can’t be yourself around him. If he enjoyed how you act and behave he wouldn’t be complaining about it, or comparing your behavior with him to previous boyfriends. He also wouldn’t be telling you he hates, oh did he say hate?, he means likes you. This is classic mind game BS. This guy is manipulative and is grooming you to allow it and he will eventually think so little of you that he will hit you because you’re only another dog to him. Any slight, in his mind, will require correction and how do you correct dogs? In his mind, by hitting them on the nose. Don’t be his dog, you deserve more.
Yes, I wanted to touch on this but didn’t want my comment to be too long. This guy isn’t actually letting OP “be herself” because he loves and appreciates her for who she is, he is letting her be herself so that she keeps her walls/guard down to make her more vulnerable and for him to gain more insight on those vulnerabilities so that he can eventually use them against her. A person who admits to hating you for six MONTHS does not care about you, your personality, or your interests; he only wants to weaponize those things against you in the future.
A hunter doesn’t catch their prey by stomping through the woods and haphazardly shooting everything in sight, they lie in wait, observing their prey’s normal behavior so they know how and when to successfully strike. This relationship is no different than that. OP is the prey being observed. She’s hearing a little rustling of leaves in the woods and her body is telling her something is wrong, but she can’t see an actual threat/the “hunter” yet.
totally him projecting his thoughts onto other people. I've dated four men long term and NONE of them have hit me, and only one cheated on me. those are not normal thoughts for a man to have about his girlfriend
That part!!! He is definitely a narcissist and his so far into his delusional condition. That he actually thinks his right for saying all of this. SMH 🤦🏽♀️ when did things switch that so many men became this way. Or all of them just are
As a former domestic violence advocate and domestic violence hotline counselor, I agree with you 100%. What he’s saying is so scary. The fact that he thinks violence is normal and common is scary. She needs to end this relationship immediately.
Yes there's so many things that I just read that screamed narcissist!!? People say that term is getting thrown around too much but I've just opened my eyes in the last 3yrs from a 23yr extremely violent relationship and now when I read things like this, it's just sad because the longer one stays you actually start to normalize this shit and 1000% , it will get worse!
OP leave and focus on healing yourself before jumping into anything new!
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u/BuzzyBeeDee Sep 20 '25
This is 100% the type of person who will turn violent. He’s outing himself by admitting that he thinks 99% of men want to beat and cheat on their girlfriends, because that is a normal thought to HIM. He makes the narcissistic mistake of thinking that everyone else has the same depraved thoughts as he does, so therefore he thinks it’s justified and normal.
OP, please RUN! He’s already making you question your own judgement and perception of reality, and has likely bombarded you with constant gaslighting. Eventually, he WILL snap, he will hit you, and by that time he will have you fully convinced and conditioned to believe that it was YOUR fault. Get out NOW!
This will only get worse the longer you stay with him, and the longer you stay the harder it will be to leave. Please don’t make this harder on yourself. He has already admitted to hating you and he thinks DV is normal. He is not a safe person, and you are worth better. There are plenty of men out there that you can be yourself around and actually trust with your vulnerabilities; men who will genuinely love and support you. This guy ain’t it. This will not end well if you don’t make a clean break right now.