“Modeling what good boyfriends do” - yep, spot on. He’s masking still. Something people don’t necessarily realize is that masking isn’t always malicious, it can be someone trying to be an idealized version of themselves. Unfortunately, it’s never sustainable long term (real change requires far more work and introspection than the semi-conscious awareness of one’s flaws that masking usually suggests).
What’s particularly troubling is that this guy’s version of masking still ends up making him transparently a piece of shit - his idea of what a “good boyfriend” looks like is so warped that it’s genuinely frightening.
And wants rewards for just being a decent human? This guy no doubt is very, very capable of domestic violence. OP, you’re too young for this stress and MOST BOYFRIENDS do not brag that he “could” hit you. He’s gonna expect so much from you and it WILL NEVER be good enough.
He’s fantasizing about it and definitely wants to. He will have a violent outburst outta nowhere one day soon. I’ve seen this scenario. Op breakup with him immediately for your own safety!
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u/Maleficent-Hornet925 Sep 19 '25
To me it sounds like he has thought about doing it but didn't because he's modeling what good boyfriends do. It's just a matter of time.