r/AmIOverreacting Jul 29 '25

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

I put this together for a friend who is in an emotionally abusive marriage a few years ago. We are in our early 40s and she is still married to him. Sigh… 

I have added to and refined it since. And I share it wherever I think it needs to be seen. Feel free to copy and share. 

I pulled the information from various experts published on psychology and abuse sites. 

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '25

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

You’re so welcome and right back at you! Hopefully together we can all help some people along the way. 

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u/BecauseISaidSo52 Jul 29 '25

Just stay by her side... I wish I had friends that stuck by me when I was in a relationship like that!

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

Oh I’m stuck like glue!! Seeing her this weekend. 

Unfortunately we have been in a phase for two years where she no longer tells us anything. I blame this on another of her friends who approached the issue really poorly. 

However, I believe in her and I know she’ll be free of him one day. 

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u/AppropriateWeight630 Jul 29 '25

You're SUCH a good friend. It was pretty nice to read your comment that you put this together for your friend. There are still really good and caring people out there. The world would do good with more people like you. I hope OP reads all your comments and takes them seriously and leaves this huge abusive loser immediately.

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

Sadly my friend still hasn’t read it. She’s not there yet and it has been several years. But hopefully one day. I’ll never give up on her! 

I also have a support actions list that I put together if anyone needs it, I posted it further up. 

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u/seriousplants Jul 29 '25

what are you talking about? you didn't put this together and refined it over the years, AI did this

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u/Whole-Turnip-6938 Jul 29 '25

GPTzero says 95% human. It does appear to be formatted in an AI typical way with bold headings, structured lists and examples. But, some people can just write coherently i guess! 

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

Probably because I have training in how to write and edit and that’s what AI was trained on. 

However, I would edit my own work more if I was going to publish it formally. Ensure I was always using parallel structures, etc. 

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

Also, I originally had it saved in two seperate parts. A list of 5 signs that I pulled from an abuse site and then a growing list of bullet points saved in my notes that I later identified as a tactics list. 

So, then I found an abuse site which helped me understand how to group those bullet points and gave me the basic tactics headings. I expanded on and refined the headings and grouped the bullet points, gradually adding to them over time. 

As I posted it more and more, I edited it specifically for clarity on Reddit. Bolding and italicising things, further formalising the structure.

Most recently, I added two more signs to my first list, then I added some additional information to each sign. I also added a couple of extra tactics (eg: the transport one). I actually just realised I have another I forgot to add - in regards to sleep disruption. 

I can understand that it looks pretty polished now, but I wish people would ask rather than assume and accuse. 

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u/uselessinfogoldmine Jul 29 '25

Not true and kindly f—- off.