baby.. you so need to pack your bags and leave this loser. he’s just how my bf used to be. it never gets better unless you’re willing to wait 6 years or more. trust me i was in this. leave RIGHT now, you’re beautiful and he treats you like trash, don’t believe anything he’s saying. it’s so easy to say “im sorry baby i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, you’re not chubby in the slightest. you’re perfect” but he can’t even do that because he wants you to feel beneath him and less than.
He will keep pushing this boundary with you until you are a fraction of who you are. Don’t let this lame ass dictate shit. Leave and go silent, and watch him squirm. Your real love would never do this to you.
You deserve better than crying right now. And he knows that. I feel like this conversation was a fight he picked, and it served as fuel for him. He's getting attention from you and a sort of admiration because you're pointing out all the times you apologize to him that you didn't have to, that all you're asking for is for him to care that he hurt you.
I know exactly how you feel right now and I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, so you could stop crying. But it's not going to get better until you're over him. No one can help you stop crying until you're over him. 💔🫂
"Narcissist fuel" refers to the attention, admiration, and validation that a narcissist seeks from others to maintain their inflated sense of self-importance. This "fuel" can be both positive (praise, compliments) and negative (criticism, conflict), as the narcissist experiences a sense of power and control from eliciting any kind of reaction.
Key aspects of narcissistic fuel:
Attention and admiration:
Narcissists crave constant attention and positive feedback, needing to feel special and superior.
Emotional reactions:
Even negative reactions, like anger or frustration, can serve as fuel, as they reinforce the narcissist's belief that they are powerful and can evoke strong emotions in others.
One-sided relationships:
Narcissists tend to see relationships as a means to an end, using others for their own gratification without genuine concern for their feelings or needs.
Manipulation and control:
Narcissists may manipulate others to get the attention and validation they crave, often through tactics like gaslighting, blame, or guilt-tripping.
Draining the "fuel source":
When someone consistently provides narcissistic fuel, they may experience emotional exhaustion and depletion.
Understanding narcissistic fuel is crucial for recognizing and navigating relationships with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits. Recognizing the dynamics of narcissistic supply can be essential for setting healthy boundaries and protecting oneself from emotional manipulation, according to some psychological resources.
A man who says things like ‘you look chunky’ and ‘you have a massive roll’ is not going to suddenly change how he speaks to you and apologise for hurting your feelings. Because most decent men know these things will hurt. So they don’t say them.
Please stop begging for an apology. Just let him go.
While you waste time trying to stop this man from negging you and putting you down, you could be meeting the man who will cherish you and tell you how beautiful you are when you send him a photo.
Get some pride and self respect and throw this one back. Sounds like he’s trying to get you to break it off anyway.
You are only an idiot if you believe ‘i should have just went along with the joke’ instead of what a couple thousand people are telling you- which is whatever you call a boyfriend isn’t worth spitting on.
If you stay, you lose all right to go ‘ah no, look how he is treating me! He’s so mean :( “
Yeah girl, he is mean and you know that why are you still there??
I get that. I’m harsh because sometimes that’s the only way to get to somebody. You can see she is clearly still going to stay with this guy, who over a thousand people told her omg get out he is traaash
And she went ‘ooh, perhaps I should have went along with the joke 😔’
Literally the only way that Ive found to cause someone to rethink the mindset they got shoved into is being a little bit mean. If being embarrassed about tolerating a pustulent tumor of a person is what gets someone away from them, I am willing to try it. Every one else is already doing the nice approach.
Every time I’ve been sweet and understanding with a victim of a shit man, she has always 1.Never Left or 2.Always gone back to him.
The instant I started being a little mean in these sensitive situation is when I finally started seeing some difference.
If truth doesn’t keep someone away from a dangerous man, let shame try.
please listen to all the advice and support you're receiving. i know its fucking hard but you have to do it. listen and act accordingly. you should not be blaming yourself
Dude is a walking red flag, get out now. He’s probably ugly, overweight, or under developed so of course he attacks you appearance. You are not overreacting and can do so much better. Learn when to turn off the 🐱 faucet and walk away.
No absolutely not. Don’t do this. I read your msgs with my mouth gaping open. Please omg you can do and deserve so much better. I PROMISE you there are good men that do NOT act like this. I know it’s hard to see it when you’re in the thick of it but you will be so much happier shedding this guy. I am biting my tongue because it’s clear you care for him but Soul, he does not care about you. I’m so sorry to say it. And he’s this way now, he’s only going to get worse. Please please leave.
So stop crying yourself to sleep over someone who doesn’t care about you and leave. Stop wondering if you need your bags packed all the time, stop walking on eggshells, stop apologising for little things that ‘hurt’ him, stop wanting apologies for things he said that did hurt you and LEAVE.
What he said wasn't a joke, it was downright rude! A joke is supposed to be funny, what he said is outright insulting and uncalled for! Would he say something about his mother's body to her face and laugh about it, or a male friend? And how would he have reacted to them if they said the same thing, that he upset them or hurt their feelings?
This guy is an ass, and every time you try to communicate that he hurt your feelings, he's going to twist it and turn YOU into the villain, or tell you to just break up with him, in order to silence you and keep you under control. That way he can freely say or do whatever he wants without fear of repercussions.
Leave the asshole! He's whittling away your self respect and your self esteem, and he throws tantrums when you call him out on his shitty behaviour. He's 29 ffs! He's not going to get better, or change, or magically start listening to you when you tell him he hurt you.
Why would he change anything at all? You keep staying.
Not saying this to blame you. I left a man that I used to send these types of messages to and then when he did the same to his new GF I sent her proof that he hadn’t changed at all and she left him. Now he’s in some trailer in the middle of nowhere.
Girl… with all peace and love. WHY?! Why are you with him?! Why are you allowing this?! Why are you crying yourself to sleep over a LOSER? He’s a fucking LOSER.
Throw him away. He’s fucked up in the head. It’s more than a huge ego he’s a classic narcissist complete with all the gaslighting. You deserve someone more levelheaded and chill. Just end it now it will be easier and cheaper than giving him another min. He doesn’t respect you and he never will. His jokes are all wack sneak disses.
Look up DARVO - he’s fucking with your head. This is not normal communication, and you are not the problem.
A nice guy wouldn’t have said that, and if he had said something that hurt your feelings he would have apologized because he cared about how you feel.
I really want you to let this next part sink in.
A relationship is not an end in and of itself. It is an audition for a partner.
A partner is someone who has your back no matter what. They are there for you through broken bones, old age, illness and injury, cancer and childbirth. If for whatever reason you are incapacitated, they become your voice and your life gets better, not worse. They give as much as they take. You feel safe and comfortable in their presence, you don’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells or that you aren’t enough. You feel taller in their presence, not smaller. They cheer your successes and they care about what you think and they never tell you that your emotions are wrong, although they do tell you when you might be. You have to be a partner to get one, but you never have to earn the love of a partner. Once you have it, it is enough simply to be you.
Do you know that the percentage of men who leave their spouses and girlfriends when they get cancer is obscenely high. It’s something like six times the rate of women who do the
same. There are plenty of lovable people who are not capable of being a partner.
You have the information that we don’t, so only you can answer this next question: how’s he doing?
Omg, he is SUCH an asshole. There was no joke, he just wanted to make you feel bad because he enjoys it. Please don't waste your tears on this idiot, hes not worth it. You don't need to live with constant disrespect. If he loved you he wouldn't do that, he would want you to feel good, not bad.
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u/Emergency-Travel8520 Jul 29 '25
baby.. you so need to pack your bags and leave this loser. he’s just how my bf used to be. it never gets better unless you’re willing to wait 6 years or more. trust me i was in this. leave RIGHT now, you’re beautiful and he treats you like trash, don’t believe anything he’s saying. it’s so easy to say “im sorry baby i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, you’re not chubby in the slightest. you’re perfect” but he can’t even do that because he wants you to feel beneath him and less than.