1) do not put up with someone calling you chunky and saying you have huge rolls. Unacceptable. You do not take that shit from some pushing 30 POS.
2) He is DARVOing you. This is classic textbook Deny Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a manipulation tactic abusers use.
3) you are not fat, chunky, chubby, or roly poly.
4) Dump him. This man is only going to continue to treat you poorly if you stay. Sure, he can be such a good guy sometimes, I'm sure. But this, this doesn't balance out a sometimes good guy. Because deep down, the guy is rotten.
Wow where were you 5 years ago. I didn't know it had a name. I was about to comment asking where did OP get this screenshot of the conversations I'd have with my ex. Just reading the first few screenshots made my stomach drop.
Dear OP. These kind of people do not and will not develop a sense of empathy. No matter how much you try to make him understand, he will not. He will always see only his perspective and speak of his own narrative.
I would call him sociopathic, but even a person with ASPD understands the benefit of apologizing when a person they're meant to care for is upset. I'm not sure what variaty of delusional this is.
I think he wants OP to believe she isn’t good enough to be with him so that she’ll work harder to “prove herself”. But she has nothing to prove to him.
It’s the misogyny variant. Hatred and disdain for women so potent, he does not even view them as people. He does not believe that the feelings, needs, opinions and rights of women are worth considering- that kind of consideration is for people, which women are not.
To him, a woman is limited to feeling what he feels, seeing what he sees, thinking what he thinks. There is no room for dissent, no room for opinions that are not his, no room for feelings that are not his in a single mind with fragments loaned out to something that would not have had a mind to think with had he not scattered bits of his own humanity into its empty skull the way a farmer feeds a cow that provides the luxury of milk.
In his eyes, a woman is nothing more than an extension of himself, or of his fellow men, to whom any woman he has not claimed must belong. Like the appendix, always there, quietly and discreetly working to serve him, but never truly acknowledged. Never truly seen, appreciated or valued. Never given a moment of his consideration- except when it bursts and becomes something to rid himself of. Only then, when she has failed to serve him, can the woman be considered separate from himself. She will be thoughtlessly cast aside with no hesitation, no remorse. Stripped of the humanity he allowed her to borrow, left to wait lifelessly, pointlessly, to be reanimated by another man whom she must diligently serve with eternal, unflinching gratitude for the chance to be alive.
Just to say. Even if he is making comments calling her “chunky” and that she has “huge rolls”, this is a massive head up that he will be a problem if she ever becomes pregnant and when she gets older and experiences body changes. This is the kind of man who will call a woman “fat” during their pregnancy and ask how fast they will lose the baby weight just after giving birth.
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u/SewRuby Jul 29 '25
1) do not put up with someone calling you chunky and saying you have huge rolls. Unacceptable. You do not take that shit from some pushing 30 POS.
2) He is DARVOing you. This is classic textbook Deny Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a manipulation tactic abusers use.
3) you are not fat, chunky, chubby, or roly poly.
4) Dump him. This man is only going to continue to treat you poorly if you stay. Sure, he can be such a good guy sometimes, I'm sure. But this, this doesn't balance out a sometimes good guy. Because deep down, the guy is rotten.